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Wednesday 28th April

Wednesday Apr 28, 2010

Huh. Who knew it had been 3 weeks since I last updated?

Blame work. By the time I’ve finished work for the day staying back to post is the last thing I feel like doing. I wonder if there’s a WordPress app for a Blackberry so I could post from home?


I had my birthday last week. I am 29 and well old. Beth has…issues with aging. She thinks because she spent her last birthday in bed with whooping cough that she’s lost a year. Surprisingly this is progress from her 21st when she hyperventilated. Literally hyperventilated because she was old. In comparison I am feeling peachy!

I got sent flowers at work, I got cool presents and Dad even remembered the day and called. Sure, if it wasn’t for Facebook reminding him it was my birthday he is likely to have forgotten but I’m pretty sure he took a lot of drugs in the 70’s so you can’t expect much.

Mel (my work sidekick) is on leave at the moment and I am slammed with work. Do not question how I have time to write this unless you want me to cut you. So she’s never allowed to take leave ever again. Ever.

We had a ladies lunch on Saturday here and it was so good that we didn’t leave the place until 11-12 that night. That good. Actually it’s likely that the wine was the cause of the 12 hour lunch but still.

So, after we finish lunch we move out into the courtyard to have a few drinks. All civilised and lovely and one of the girls mentioned a few of her friends will be popping in later, more the merrier etc etc.

Except one of her friends was a guy who (what’s a good way of saying this without me looking like a raging whore) I had a sleepover with a couple of years ago. It was exactly what it was, we’d met a few times, I thought he was cute, it ended at my place and that was that. So when he’s being introduced to everyone, he looks at Beth (who I knew him from) says hi, looks at me and says, “I don’t think we’ve met before.”

Oh. Really.

Here’s the thing, I have a pretty unusual first name, am a relatively cute but chubby girl and trust me, I am a minx in the sack, you do not forget me. And of course later that night he came over and had miraculously gotten over his memory loss.

Beth, being Beth, told him he was a douchebag. I agreed, and he was a bit surprised.

I’d have been offended if he was a better kisser. But I wasn’t because I knew I was following the one-night-stand rules:

  1. Don’t leave your number.
  2. Take it for what it was for (one time occurrence.)
  3. If you meet again be civil but polite.

Sydney is a small place, you will meet someone you’ve slept with again, hell I used to work with a guy I lost my virginity to. That was interesting.

So, yes, he could’ve even been the one to break the 3 month celibacy period but for the fact that he didn’t follow the one-night-stand etiquette and annoyed me.

Apart from that it was a great day. Sure my sister and her boyfriend may have broken up the next day, and sure Beth’s car was broken into while left parked outside. We still had good food and a good 10-12 hours of drinking wine.


This weekend we have a road trip. It’s K’s birthday soon so we’re heading to her hometown which is a town a few hours outside of Sydney for the weekend. Her family are stereotypical country Australians, and so very very lovely. This means I will drink a lot of alcohol and hopefully do lots of driving (not at the same time.)


Saturday I went with Beth to help her find a wedding dress. I’ve done this twice before, once with Meg the Mormon Housewife, and once with Bec, my oldest friend.

Watching them try on dresses left me in a teary mess. Watching Beth try on dresses sent me into fits of giggles. She was being shoved into meringue style dresses that when she’d leave the change rooms were so big and puffy she would start sweeping other dresses off their racks as she walked past.

The white dresses looked ridiculous, there were diamantes and beading EVERYWHERE and frankly if she wasn’t laughing she would’ve been in hysterics.

She’s the reluctant bride as it is (she’s not a fan of commitment, it gives her hives) so she’s decided to get rid of the big wedding dress and go for a cocktail length dress instead.

Thank god because I can’t spend another Saturday morning in a bridal shop.

lifts and drinks and blisters

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

God I’m tired and it’s barely lunch time. I’m sleeping like a log but I’m just getting to bed later and later. I stand firm that tonight I will be in bed at 9:30. No later. And tonight I won’t let Poppy sleep in the middle of the bed so I’m sprawled out around here, and that I kill any (fucking) mosquitoes before they drain half of my blood during the night.

I went out on Saturday night for celebration drinks for Beth and DJ’s engagement. While I hate going out at night I love seeing my friends because they’re pretty much the nicest/coolest people I know. So, I got frocked up and headed into the city.

There’s an RSL smack bang in the city that is an oasis of cheap drinks away from the wanky bars and clubs that make up the usual Sydney city night life. Any place that has lounges where I can buy a round of drinks for 5 people and get change from a $20 note (a small amount but still) is a good place. Except that on the way up with Beth and K in the lift, the lift dropped a floor. One second we were going from 2 to 3, and then the lifted plummeted back to 2. I would say that I burst into tears or vomit because that’s what I thought I would do, but it was too quick. It was gross and scary and we did not go in that lift again.

I drank a lot of vodka and champagne and then we started having shots because see: cheap drinks. We then retired to the local for last drinks, in the walk across the city I gave myself some wicked blisters from the heels I was wearing. But, you know, vodka heals a lot so I drank some more before getting in a cab and making the cab driver go through McDonalds drive thru. The quarter pounder never tasted so good.

Celibacy update: Getting a wee bit harder now, actually I don’t even know when I started. Let me check.

Jesus I only started 2 weeks ago, this is not going to end well. Well, it’d end well for me but not for the poor man.

Oh! I forgot the news. Beth totally made me a bridesmaid. K and I and Beth’s sister are all bridesmaids. I am ridiculously excited especially after she reassured us that the dresses would be black cocktail dresses and hair also suitable restrained. We also warned her that as a bride she gets ONE DAY to be a total bridezilla and since her wedding is a year away if she tries to pull that crap we will revolt.

So, terms and conditions have been accepted on both sides and everyone is happy.

Except DJ who had to spend the day after the drinks at a bridal expo. Sucked in groom.

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