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Bebe

Saturday Dec 22, 2012

There are babies bloody everywhere at the moment.

We’ve had a recent birth in my core group of friends and two more newly announced pregnancies. Everywhere.

It’s quite an odd experience really, when people in your close circle of friends start to have kids, your life changes. Our social circle changes, how we interact changes, where and when we interact changes.

I also experienced for the first time a twinge. A twinge of cluckiness? Peer pressure? Dunno. But it lasted a few days and then went away, which was nice.

I announced to my parents when I was 4 that:

1: I wanted to be the first female prime minister. (Bloody Julia ruined that childhood dream.)
2: I didn’t want to get married.
3: I didn’t want to have children but I would adopt.

Strangely enough my 4 year old self was pretty fucking awesome and I still share most of those desires.

My parents, my grandparents and everyone of my aunts and uncles who have married have divorced. Wait, there is one widower. You get the gist though. So as a result I’m not a huge supporter of marriage for myself.

Ditto having children, I think fostering or adopting is what I’d prefer. I don’t know why, but it just feels right and makes sense for me.

The good thing about the new baby trend is that my social preferences are all geared towards being friends with parents – not a huge drinker (unless it’s a cheeky boozy lunch like I had today), like an early night, prefer a night at home (in fact despise being out at night) and little people are well funny.

So yes, everyone else is having babies and while it’s not for me I like it.

Because it’s all about me, obvs.


Tuesday Feb 28, 2012

I miss writing here, I miss it quite desperately at times.

Tumblr is great and I love the openness of it, but it’s not the same.

I feel stifled knowing that people I know in real life read it. I know writing here so openly isn’t a smart decision. But I don’t write well anywhere else, it feels like wearing a too tight shirt that digs in and twists and itches.

It’s not rocket science, I’m not going to win any writing awards but maybe I should come back here, maybe password protect some posts?

Not sure.


fat frilled neck lizard

Friday Sep 9, 2011

I don’t say this very often but this week I’ve very much enjoyed my job. I wasn’t stressed, I left at a reasonable time, I did some interesting new work stuff. It’s been a good week and I’ve needed it after the rough past year or so here.

I had a horrifying thought last night. Beth and DJ are talking about trying for a baby in a year’s time. This means that this summer is likely to be our last before there are pregnancy and little people (not midgets) running around.

I called Beth and she almost choked (can you tell she’s excited!) So this summer is our hurrah, and we plan to make the most of it. And by most of it I mean be drunk from pretty much October until March.

It’s going to be awesome.

I went to my first roller derby bout last weekend and it was pretty much the coolest thing I’ve seen. It was the finals so it was fast and feisty. I don’t whether I got seeing an ice hockey game stuck in my head but I expected to see more blood and broken bones. Possibly I’m just a little blood thirsty.

I also drank a few too many canned vodka drinks (mmmm, tastes classy) so I had a great time.

My roller derby name has been decided – I’m Eve of Destruction, accurate and fiercesome!

I bought this dress for a friend’s wedding in November. I’m getting it shortened to just below my knees and I got it in black. I realised I may look a little like a fat frilled neck lizard, but I am okay with that, you know my thoughts on a ruffled neck dress.

Beth and I will be sitting by ourselves as the rest of the kids are either the ones getting married or in the bridal party. We have decided to be the drunk girls, it’s only apt during our Summer of Lush. We have only set ourselves one rule: Do not fall over. There is nothing more pathetic than a drunk girl in a frock falling over.

I never check the stats on this page, I probably should but I’m lazy. But I checked for the first time in a couple of years today and boy howdy, there are some people reading that surprises me.

It’s always a surprise to find people reading who you used to get naked with, and purport to hate you. So hello man-who-hates-me!

I have a quiet day planned for tomorrow, the last few weekend’s have been pretty hectic and I am looking forwarding to watching some True Blood (I am slightly obsessed with Eric, and wish Bill would die – does anyone actually like him?) sleeping in and hanging out with Poppalopagus (Poppy) on the couch. I may even stretch myself and have an afternoon nap, good times.


q and a response

Sunday Aug 14, 2011

God you guys are awesome, thanks for all of the comments on the last post.

Since I know you’re all dying to find out my stance on the questions I asked, without further ado:

1. Sleeping with socks on – Yes or No.

There were 5 votes for wearing socks while sleeping is wrong and 3 for right (if it’s cold enough etc.)

This is actually a long running argument I have with both Beth and Meg. Both are physically incapable of sleeping if they’re wearing socks and when I used to live with Beth or when we’re away and sharing a room she has threatened to sneak in while I sleep and take my socks off. Even though we’ve been friends for 15 years I can’t guarantee that she wouldn’t do it.

Apparently Beth’s mother used to tell her that her feet would fall off if she wore socks to sleep in. Beth has many quirks, this is one.

I enjoy sleeping in socks when it’s cold, mainly because I am too lazy to have a top sheet and can often find my feet poking out of my quilt threatening my toes with hypothermia.

2. Girls shouldn’t use the c-word.

This one surprised me a little, more people than not weren’t big fans of the word generally regardless of who it came from.

I obviously have a bit of a foul mouth, but the c-bomb is my special occasion curse. If I use it you know I am not in any way shape or form happy.

3. A girl drinking beer is attractive/unattractive.

Bless you lushes, the majority of you thought girls drinking beer was attractive. In fact a few believed it made them hella attractive, of course one of these shared my genes. The antilogy blood is half alcohol after all.

I used to make out with a boy who thought the girls drinking beer was horrendous. He was great in the sack though so I ignored that…

4. Modern girls taking on their husbands surname when they marry – agree/disagree.

This is a discussion I had with DJ quite a bit before he and Beth got married. Beth chose to keep her surname and DJ wasn’t so pleased with that idea at first. It’s also a conversation I’ve had with a couple of my guy friends. I understand women who take their husbands name, completely understand it and have no issue with women who do.

In my case though Sabine and I are the last Antilogy girls in the family, when/if we get married and if we took our husbands name there’d be no more Antilogy’s. And I just hate the idea of that happening. One of the biggest points that the boys would make is that it’s their name, their background and heritage and they feel almost duty bound to pass that on. Yet it’s exactly the same for me, I’m an Antilogy, my parents and my grandparents and my relatives and my sense of family is pretty strong, the idea of not carrying on that name makes me ridiculously sad.

Most of you were also pretty much in the middle too.

5. Vegemite. Right or wrong?

You guys are more wrong than right, 5 vegemite fans to 3 non-fans.

I am not a Vegemite fan, at all. It’s a YEAST EXTRACT SPREAD. WHAT IS THAT?!?!

6. Lights on or off during adult time.

I have a friend, I’ve seen her breasts more than her boyfriend has. It makes me sad, she has great tata’s and they should be shared!

I am a strong supporter of lights on, you guys not so much. Prudes.

7. I am awesome – Yes or Yes

This was actually a trick question since it’s not a question at all, just a statement of fact.

All of you got it right though.

Except for my sister Sabine who declined to answer this one, she is in a while world of pain come Christmas time when I see her next….


childhood dot points

Monday Aug 8, 2011

My dad taught me to cartwheel.

One summer holidays I went into work with my Dad (he was a librarian) nearly everyday and read all of the Young Adult section.

My sister and I shared a bedroom together when we were 17 and 18. She’d just finished school and I was doing my final year and it was not a good combination. She used to come home drunk with her friends when the local clubs/bars would close and wake me up all the damned time.

I broke one of my closest friends (Bec) leg when we were 4 or so. It was totally an accident (I’m hoping so unless I was a psychopath back then) but she brings it up most times we catch up. I figure that’s fair. Even worse is it apparently didn’t look like it was broken and my mother sent her home from our play date, and her mother (who is a nurse) gave her a panadol and told her to stop crying. Ahh, child rearing in the 80’s.

Despite my mother now being the least maternal person ever she is my go to person for recipe advice since she used to make most of our food, including home made vanilla ice cream.

I had a wart on my thumb as a kid and was petrified for weeks after my Mum told me we’d need to have it frozen off. Then I woke up one day and it had disappeared. I’m still squicked out by the idea that it fell off in my sleep.

The first two tapes (yeah!) I bought myself were Whispering Jack by John Farnham and Still Cruising by the Beach Boys.

I don’t sing in front of others because of the trauma (!) of my sister discovering me singing along to my walkman one day off key to Tears of a Clown and harassed me mercilessly. So if we’re ever out drunk together and you suggest going to karaoke and I say no? Blame Sabine.

Just to even this up I was a complete shit of a younger sister to Sabine and would frequently get her into trouble. One of my favourites was when I was learning how to write at 3 or 4 and wrote her name (in permanent marker) on the windowsill at home. She got the blame for that one. Oh, and I also threw a pair of scissors at her once. So yeah. Bygones.

(Look at me here – do I look like someone who could throw a pair of scissors at my sisters head?)

n573966504_1289331_5366

I used to be ridiculously active as a child, I don’t know what happened.

My Dad believed in creative punishment since he didn’t smack us. One night when I was around 4 I didn’t want to do the dishes so he proposed I ran around the farm (11 acres) until maybe I’d change my mind. I made it around 3 times I think before he took pity on me. He made me do the dishes anyway.

I grew up on a farm which had an outside toilet. It was terrifying and I still don’t know how I used to go outside in the middle of the night. Maybe I just wet the bed a lot?

There weren’t many rules on the farm, but the main one for me was even if I wasn’t wearing clothes (I did not like wearing clothes) I had to wear gumboots. And if we went off on our own we had to have our Great Dane Sid come with us.

My Mum gave Sabine and I completely ridiculous nicknames as children. I still haven’t told Beth mine because it’s stupid and mortifying. And no, I’m not telling you either. Let’s just say it has Bum in it and leave it at that.


Impressions

Monday Jun 6, 2011

– This dating thing is freakin’ exhausting! I don’t know how people do this shiz for years. All the preening and being on my best behaviour is quite difficult for a slobby foul mouth.

– I’ve been emailing and texting with a few different boys and whether it’s my swiss cheese memory this keeping up with what I’ve told who is doing my head in. I’ll be half way through an email with one of the boys before realising that nope, already told him that or hmm, no, haven’t got to that point yet. Thank christ for sent mail or I’d be fucked.

– One of the boys I was chatting with put me off with a couple of comments he made. On their own I could write them off. Together they made him seem arrogant and pushy, making me uneasy. So I had to pull back but I didn’t want to do the brutal honesty thing where I told him he was beginning to sound like a douchebag. So I lied, told him I’d met someone. Lesser of two evils. His response just confirmed that my gut reaction had been right. He said that it was unlikely that I had met someone since I was engaged.

Riiiiiight.

I wear a silver ring on my right hand. Homeboy had obviously gotten the hands mixed up and confused a sterling silver ring with an engagement rock.

That was a good choice then.

– My self-esteem is retarded.

Most of me thinks I am the bees knees and the cats pyjamas. I’m funny, kind of cute, I’m relatively smart (when I’m not smacking myself in the face trying to pull up my sleeves) and I’m kind of cool.

Yet the two times I’ve met with someone I’m convinced that they’re going to grimace when they see me and walk away. That they’ll think my personality is obnoxious and do that vague promise to catch up again, at some point, when things quiet down.

I’ve given myself a few mental uppercuts, but yes, my self esteem can be a moody bitch.

– I’m surprised how good my experience with the whole online dating thing has been though to be honest. I’m not sure whether I’ve been lucky or just have too many male friends but I’ve met two great guys and have 2 more to meet before I finish up.

Maybe it’s just doing it for a short period of time. The battle worn women who have been doing it for years, whose profiles are full of DO NOT CONTACT ME IF A OR B OR C! maybe should’ve bowed out a while ago. They are very entertaining though and appear genuinely upset when no one seems to find their shrieking bitter profiles attractive and ask “where all the decent men are on here?”

– I’m closing off my profile though this week. My man plate is full and I’m happy to meet with the men I’m already corresponding with.

– I’m surprised by the amount of duckface photos women have on their profiles though. Duckface is hilarious not sexy and should be kept Myspace and Facebook for idiot 13 year olds like my cousin. (Seriously, she’s an idiot.)

– I could’ve done without the messages though from 20 year old boys who tell me they love older woman. Fuck you kid. Or the 70 year old nudist who sent photos.

But yes, I’m enjoying things but am strangely looking forward to not watching my mouth and not having to shave my legs every day.

(It’s fricking winter! I should look like a yeti by now!)


hello! (is it me you’re looking for?)

Tuesday May 17, 2011

Good lord, time flies away on this thing. Because I’ve only got 20 minutes before I go home you get half arsed bullet points! Yay!

Property Baron status – I settled yesterday and I officially am a home owner. I did a final walk through of the apartment yesterday before settlement and God I love the place. Actually, I love the potential in the place. The current tenant has been there for 28 years, I am more than happy for her to stay and help me pay off the mortgage. The place is immaculate and she’s the perfect tenant.

Sure, she’s as mad as a cut snake and wears her lipstick outside of her natural lip line. Sure I went over for a quick 15 minute chat and left 2 hours later (she.talked.so.much) after giving her permission to paint and do some other cosmetic changes. I mean hell, when she moves out/croaks (she’s old!) I’m stripping everything back anyway so knock yourself our lady with your decoupage.

(She painted the shower screen pink. She’s a nut.)

Dating Site – It’s going okay actually, I had my first “date” last week. With a doctor (wooooo – mother was pleased.) Sure he was a typical arrogant doctor and we got along far better as friends, but if I ever get shot after getting up to dodgy antics I totally have someone to extract it!

I was also the recipient of an email with 4 photos attached after making a comment that I dig nerdy boys. It was from a guy with an un-ironic moustache and the photos were of his D&D figurines that he’d proudly painted…….

I haven’t responded yet. I am not too sure what to say to that. I like my nerds, but not to that extent.

30 for 30 – I’ve set myself a goal of writing a 30 bucket list, 30 things to do while I’m 30. Sure the first (and only) items I’ve put down are “go on a blind date” and “buy property” (check and CHECK!) but I think it’s going to be a good thing for me to do to get out there and stop being hermit lady.

I love being hermit lady but I really need to force myself to get out and do things, so yes, it’s a Get Off Your Arse and Do Shit list.

Sabine – I’ve decided to start a harassment campaign to get Sabine to move back to Sydney. If you feel like harassing a stranger you’ve never met (except for a couple of you) please leave a comment to Sabine about how living in a desert town is lame and she should move back to Sydney so we can go for more trips to Ikea where I drive with the handbrake on and hiss at small children who get in our way.


Mimi

Thursday Apr 14, 2011

I got a haircut on the weekend from my beloved hairdresser Carol. Even though Carol has been cutting my hair (and Beth’s) for a few years now she doesn’t remember my name. Up until last week she called me Mimi. Mimi bears no relation whatsoever to my real name Eve, like none.

But when I saw her she’d given up completely and just calls me Beth. So there’s Beth (me) and Beth (Beth.)

Carol understands the mop that is my hair and I love her, she gave me a great haircut and made it all shiny and pretty.

Then I washed it last night it turned into this.

pretty

Demented bag lady hair a-hoy!

I’m smack bang in the middle of the cooling off period with the apartment, it’s a 42 day settlement period which is fine but I’m a worrier by nature so I’m just waiting for someone (I don’t know who, my worries are not very rational) to pop out and say “No, you can’t have it.”

I am also a poh child at the moment. I’m saving about half of my pay at the moment to go towards all of the other fees and charges on this place, mortgage broker fees, solicitor fees, mortgage insurance, strata reports blah blah blah. 

It is fucking ridiculous, as a result I’m student poor. I raided my piggy bank this morning for coffee and lunch money, I did not work hard for 10 years to be paying for my lunch in 50 cent coins!

Fucking mortgage.

In a few weeks it’ll all be over, the mortgage payments themselves are quite manageable so once all of these fees and stuff are done it’ll be a lot easier. Because I am not 17 anymore and I refuse to use silver coins as my main tender. Refuse!

How’s things with you?


no, just no.

Monday Jan 24, 2011

It’s a really hot day today in Sydney, 35 degrees last time I checked. Summer is an awesome time for clothes with the dresses and cute thongs. Except that some chubby girls appear to have received the wrong memo, they got the skinny girl clothing memo. As a result my eyes have been assaulted over the weekend, resulting in this PSA.

Disclaimer – I am a chubby girl, obvs.

Leggings – Leggings are not pants. Full stop. If the leggings have a gusset they’re tights, which means they’re under garments. This is especially so for chubby girls, leggings are brazen and ballsy and unashamed. Which are great characteristics in a girl, not so your pants.  

 Halterneck anything – Halternecks seem to be exclusively aimed at chubby girls and from the front they can actually look cute, all v neck and flattering.

 But the back view? Back rolls and bingo arm waving. Wear a cardigan is all I’m saying.

 Anything made out of jersey – Again this seems to be marketed as a chubby girl miracle fabric. It’s not, it doesn’t skim it clings, it highlights every bump and chub. Unless you’re wearing those awesome support garments that go from your knees to shoulders do not buy into the jersey – flattering. You know who looks good in jersey? Girls with no boobs.

 Low cut jeans – Dear baby jebus no. Just no.

 Spaghetti straps worn with thick bra straps – This point is not against spaghetti straps, they can look cute on chubby girls. If worn with a strapless bra or a bra with thin straps. But if you’re wearing a bra that has thick straps to hold in the girls spaghetti straps are not your friend. In fact they’re your enemy who wants to get you fired from your job and sleep with your boyfriend.

 Strapless anything – If you have breasts larger than a C cup strapless dresses/tops are not a good look, they give you the boobage overflow (that 3rd and 4th breastage is not cute) and you’ll spend half the day tugging up the front or your strapless bra. Boobage spillage is hot in certain situations, this is not one of them.

Short shorts – The majority of girls, large/small/whatevs, have cellulite. Nothing wrong with this. But short shorts, i.e. they’re only hitting the upper though, are not for us. They’re just not, I understand they’d be really really comfortable to wear on a hot day but so would wearing no pants at all and there are laws about that.


hello there

Friday May 28, 2010

Hello there. I’m still here.

Work has been a little insane. And by little I mean a lot. Anyway since it’s been a while but I’m still busy you get bullet points!

  • I passed my driving test, I have been judged by the RTA and I have been deemed worthy. 
  1.  
    1. I was so nervous for the week before that I was crabby and jumpy (just like normal actually) but as soon as I got in the car with the lady tester I was okay.
    2. Oh, except I didn’t close the door properly and I only noticed as we were driving out of the car park. While it wasn’t on the list of fail items I’m pretty sure not closing your door properly is a bit of a no-no. So I ignored it, I ignored the dashboard light telling me a door wasn’t closed and I ignored the strange thuds when we went over speed bumps. And luckily the lady must’ve been half deaf as she didn’t notice (and if she did it wasn’t on my marking sheet.)
    3. I also did an exquisite three point turn and parking.
    4. In short, I am awesome and I can drive.
    5. I went for my first drive on my own the day afterwards and let me tell you it is as liberating as skinny dipping. I will be doing more of it, the driving too.
    6. Boom tish!
  • Mark, a.k.a my sleepover friend, has a girlfriend. Ergh. I won’t get into my lame sadness over this (I don’t love him, but I don’t want him dating other people, what’s wrong with that?) but let’s just say the day I found out I had an hour long shower, and I took in a bottle of champagne with me. I came out barely able to walk, it was awesome.

 

  • My sidekick at work, Mel, resigned. I am still in my angry grieving phase, in fact I made her these cupcakes earlier this week. They say “you suck!” I thought the exclamation mark would show I was only half serious. She’s going to work full time on her bags and accessories and that is an awesome thing for a 24 year old (maybe she’s 25) to be doing. I will be happy for her when I no longer whimper at the idea of my work load after she’s gone.

 

indeed

 

  • I bought some upholstery fabric for an antique (actually let’s not be wanky here) second hand chair I bought. It is gorgeous, and I also bought a couple of yards of this fabric because it’s so gorgeous and bright and I think will make lovely cushions. Or a dress. Who knows where my genius will take me. Also www.spoonflower.com? You can design your own fabric, favourite discovery on the internet this month.

 

  • I sent Jason Mulgrew an email in reply to a post of his and I got a response. He said I was awesome, therefore that pretty made my day/week.

 

  • Umm, I think that’s it?

 

  • How’s everyone been?

 

Ps – Weird, I posted exactly a month ago. Crreeeepppy.


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