The Antilogy |

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Wednesday Nov 11, 2015

A few months back I booked an impromptu holiday. There was a sale on airfares within Australia, as I’d been to all states and territories bar 2 (Northern Territory I’ve always wanted to go to but this was a solo holiday and since I fight like a piece of jelly I thought it wouldn’t be prudent to do the outback on my own) I booked a trip to Tasmania.

Jesus. What a bloody brilliant idea (self high five!) That place is stunning and despite being home now for a couple of weeks I have already planned a second trip down there next year.

I had 5 days down there in a little one bedroom cottage I’d booked through AirBnB. I hired a car (asked for a small one and they gave me a 4WD – I took that shit off road and by off road I mean I aimed for puddles) and I just relaxed and had quiet time.

It was perfect.

Things are pretty normal right now. I’m still living with my sister Sabine and mercilessly annoying her (as only a younger sister can), my study is going well and I’m half way through my course with only a few more months to go. I’m still single and I’m pretty sure it’s terminal, so I’m going to work on becoming one of those chubby curly haired single women with big hair, big laugh and even bigger eclectic jewelry (it’s coming along nicely!)

I’m still doing the healthy eating/bullshit diet thing; as much as I have disdain for dieting and the whole bloody dieting industry generally I’m doing this for my health. I still mourn the food I used to eat, I would murder someone to be able to eat a decent pub nachos with dollops of sour cream and guacamole regularly (with no associated weight gain, thanks) but this healthier eating thing is permanent for me now so I’ll continue to mourn family sized bags of chips and macaroni and cheese. I’m 24 kilos down now (50ish pounds, I think?) so it’s working, but man.


Monday Aug 31, 2015

It’s the last day of winter today and I am ready, totally fully ready, for Spring. We’ve started getting cold but sunny days and it is marvelous. I used to have chickens as a teenager (I did an Agriculture class at school and surprised Dad one day with three chicks) and when they’d hit a sunspot in the backyard they’d stretch one wing out and just collapse. Exactly like this.



This is me at the moment, hit a sun ray, want to collapse.

Things are chugging along okay. I’m still doing okay with my study and I’m up to my third assessment. It’s an assist client topic so it’s pretty similar to some of what I do in IT, e.g. help the helpless, so I’m chugging along nicely.

We had a death in the family quite recently and Mum flew home for the funeral, while it was a shit occasion it was so good to see her and her side of the family. They’re all good people and fucking hilarious. We kind of neglected that side after Mum moved interstate so it’s good to reconnect. I, as usual, look nothing like anyone in the family. Everyone’s all fair skin and freckles and thin and I’m tubby and brunette with olive skin tones.

It’s also a nice change from Dad’s side of the family. Did I tell you they buried our grandmother without telling us? Good times! It’s the first time we’ve had a family falling out and while I’d really really prefer not to have had it happen I can understand how people hold a grudge for decades and decades. I am stubborn and I will hold this motherfucking grudge until they apologise. Because? Don’t bury one of my favourite people in the world, not invite us (including her son) and then get angry with us when we find out the day before and ask what is happening. In a bonus I got de-friended on Facebook by them. That’s a first during a fight from adults rather than teenagers :/

Still single. I’m pretty sure that I should just take a lover and avoid relationships. Is lover the adult euphemism for for FWB’s? I think so, much easier 🙂



Sunday May 24, 2015

It appears I’m going to have a career sea change.

A few weeks ago, while talking to my father, I realised that for someone who dislikes change working in IT is a really bad idea. Every time I master a product or skill there’s a new release or update or patch. Especially with mobility, that shit changes literally day to day. I’m not a fan of working nights or weekends yet have to do that pretty regularly. I have to constantly do reading and training to keep my skills up to date.

I know, I sound like a whiny lady.

I just…….the idea of doing this for another 15 years actively depresses me. I will be Jewish mother level disappointed in me if I’m still here in 5 years time.

So I enrolled in a legal services course and imma become a paralegal or legal secretary. I started a couple of weeks ago and so far it’s going really well. I originally went to uni to study law so a lot of it’s really familiar and it pleases my little heart to be studying it again.

I’m going to have to take a pay cut, a pretty big hurty pay cut. I’m hoping it’s worth it. God, I hope it’s worth it.


Monday Mar 30, 2015

So, my sister, Sabine, and I moved in together about 7 or 8 months ago. Since we’re both still alive I’m deeming it a success. I have noticed a few things though:

1. We are become more and more stupid the longer we live together. Last week Sabine apologised when her stomach growled. Except it was my stomach. She just assumed it was her and wasn’t worried that she wasn’t hungry or that she didn’t feel the growl. I am constantly saying and doing stupid things, I live to lie uncomfortable close to her and ask if she needs a hug. B

2. We are regressing to our childhood state. On the weekend I ran at her while carrying a 10 kilogram bag of river stones. Then was surprised that it hurt her. I also brush past her daily but it’s less brushing and more sexual harassment. (I also like to suggestively booty dance at her in my underpants even though she is a massive prude.)

3. Our cats (we have two now, I still have the Popster and Sabine’s old and cranky cat has moved in too) hate each other. After 6 months of living together they still stare at each other across the apartment like Maggie and her monobrowed baby nemesis. Her cat also hates me with a fiery passion even though I am desperate for it to love me. I don’t even particularly like her cat and call it a fuck face on a daily basis. But despite all my kind words and food bribery she continues to hiss at me constantly. I am torn between regularly trying to win her over whilst training Poppy to hunt her.

I think in essence we’ve just reverted to our childhood selves since we rarely lived together growing up and last lived together properly when we were about 6 or 7?

Essentially I’ve become the obnoxious younger sibling and she has become Hyacinth Bucket and we interact exactly like Emmett and Hyacinth.

Photo post!

Tuesday Nov 18, 2014

And by photos I mean mainly photos of my cat. Who doesn’t love that shit.


Poppy yesterday morning feeling the sads.


Hand me my washing stick, Ma! 



Sydney at this time of year is full of Jacaranda trees with beautiful purple flowers. This is the view from my office and it’s gorgeous.



Poppy licking my cardigan…….I don’t know either.



Check out the Dadsicle rocking ICU in his hospital issue pj’s. This is 2 days post surgery and he is totally flipping me the bird.



Spring evenings in my “backyard”, a.k.a. my tiny patch of lawn.



Poppy watching me cook. Creepily.

Holiday snaps

Tuesday Jan 21, 2014

I went overseas at the end of last year to the UK and France. It was fucking amazing.

it was my father, my sister Sabine and I for 4.5 weeks for my Dad’s birthday. We did London, Bath, Salisbury, York, lakes District, Northern England, Wales, Dublin, Belfast, Scotland, Paris and Normandy.  While travelling with your family is, uh, interesting it was a trip of a lifetime.

When I’m with my family I turn into the jerk younger sister that I am. Considering that Sabine and I had to share rooms and beds for several nights the woman is a saint for not strangling me in my sleep.

Rather than beautiful scenic photos you get the below photos where I pull faces at the camera all over!


On a sight seeing bus.



On the flight home. I’m overjoyed.


Waiting at the airport to fly home. I’m really overjoyed.



Trying to take a photo.

Flipping the bird at my sister at the Bronte parsonage.
That place was awesome and sad.




Scotland National Museum pretending to be a giant skeleton head?



On the Scottish Coast on the drive to Edinburgh. Bitterly cold and blowing a gale.


Waiting at St Pancras station for the Eurostar to Pariimage

This is the vending machine outside our hotel rooms in Paris. I put money in for the brownie bites you can vaguely see hanging half way out.
There may have been an unsuccessful shoulder charge and the next day there was this sign.

All the pork pies!

Tuesday Jul 23, 2013

It feels like ages since I’ve written here so I thought I’d drop in and say hi.

Things are going okay. We had a round of redundancies at work and lost about a third of the IT department, most of them outsourced overseas. Will be interesting to see how long it takes for the roles to come back in house. They nearly always do.

I’ve had the flu and spent a few days last week dying at home. I am not a good sick person, I want to be left alone but then I get cranky when people don’t come over with soup and stroke my hair. I am a pleasant person. Still, was nice to have a couple of days at home.

I’ve got two gigs coming up, You Am I and Ash, both my 16 year old self and my current self are excited about this.

It’s been over a year now since Grandma died and the grief still surprises me. I was dusting and washing my tea cups and tea pots and had forgotten she’d put a sticker on the teapot I liked of hers. Tea Pot

She went through a phase where every time you’d visit she’d ask if you wanted any of her stuff. I’d say she was being morbid and I didn’t want her stuff (except for the teapot.) Didn’t realise it would be so fresh still this far after. Because she did some acting there’s film out there with her on it and I can’t bring myself to watch it. I miss the old duck.

I picked up a stray cat last week, she was living in a church across the road from me. Slept under my car at night, was ravenous when I started feeding her and was skinny. So I grabbed her and took her to the vet to see if she was microchipped, when they couldn’t get a hold of the owner for a couple of days I brought her home. She was a sweetheart, a little manx cat that when she was happy she’d wag her little tail.

Not Stray

Except it turns out she did have an owner, there is an apartment above the church that I didn’t know was there. And the owner had been worried sick. So yeah, I kidnapped a cat.

Anyway. I apologised a million times and the owner and I are okay, in fact I offered to cat sit for her if she ever needed it.

It’ll be a while before I “rescue” any strays again.

It’s my Dad’s 60th birthday this year. Sabine and I were trying to convince him to have a party, just do something. He decided he was going to the UK and that we should come with him. So come mid October Sabine, Pater and I will be spending a month in the UK. A week in Ireland and a week in France. If we make it through without killing each other it will be ah-mazing. I am going to eat all of the pork pies and have a lady date with ihatemyname. I’m going to work on my terrible rusty French, currently I only know the greetings, how to buy cigarettes and have to order a cheese and ham baguette. Should be enough. Is going to be awesome.

I’m single still although I am stealth dating J, and by stealth dating I mean we’re hanging out and he doesn’t know we’re dating. I’m sorry but if I make out with you and then go to Ikea with you on a Sunday? Dating. If I go furniture shopping with you? Dating. If I spend weekend afternoons at yours watching the IT Crowd and making out? Dating. If you come to things as my implied date? Dating.

It’s only creepy if you think about it too much…..

Poppy is still my furry faced little companion. She oscillates between being a complete jerk and being a sweetheart. Although she has taken to sitting beside my pillow of morning and staring at me until I wake up. This is the view and I do not like it.

Creepy Wake Up

She is not excited to see me, she is plotting my downfall and I ruined it by waking up, look at the suspicion and loathing on her face.

Overall things are good. How is everyone? Your hair looks great.

Friendship card

Sunday Apr 28, 2013

I have been very well lately. My birthday was last week and not only did Meg leave her babies and drove 6 hours to come out for my birthday drinks but Sabine flew over FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY for my birthday. I am we’ll lucky.

Had an excellent night, I believe Meg was dancing in the middle of a dance circle at one point, may have been a dance off actually.

Friday Beth and I went to Costco. Holy mother of Jesus that place is fucking amazing. Live on my own but 40 rolls of toilet paper? Sure! Cooking for one but 2 kilos of tinned tomatoes? Get in my trolley!

While Sabine was here she stayed with me and we were talking smack as usual. Somehow I mentioned I was going to elope when/if I got married. Well. Apparently I am not allowed to do this. If I elope I have to bring Sabine. Then, the sneaky wench, she told Beth about my (obviously hypothetical) plans. Double well. I did not realise how strongly people feel about eloping and not being there. Beth? Furious. She actually pulled out the friendship card. The friendship card is the friendship veto, we have never used it on each other before in 15 years of being friends.

So now I’m just not getting married. Loophole friendship card win!

Also I bought a new car. Stella, my beloved Stella, was showing her age and had become less reliable. When she broke down on the approach to the Harbour Bridge in peak hour traffic I traded her in for this puppy. Her name’s Penny and we’re still getting to know each other, she has all of these fancy magical features. Magic!


House guests

Wednesday Feb 20, 2013

I live in a one bedroom apartment in Sydney. It is a delightful apartment and the perfect size for one. It’s pretty open plan with the only real door in the place to the bathroom.

I received a text from the MormonHousewife earlier telling me her and her husband were coming to stay with me for 3 days next week.

I adore her and her husband. They are awesome people and I love spending time with them, and only recently they let me stay with them for a few days.

They of course live in a 4 bedroom house with a granny flat for visitors so I got my own room and bathroom when I stayed there.

I’m not sure if you can see the flaw in the plan but I don’t quite know where we’re all going to fit if they stay with me for 3 days. I have got a massive lounge but it really only fits one person. I have got a double bed so it fits one person ideally or two in bit of a squeeze.

It will also be during the week so I’ll be getting up at 5:00 a.m. for work and going to bed at 9:30 p.m.


I’d give them my bed and I’d sleep on the couch, but then I have to kick them out of the living area at 9:30 each night and wake them up at 5 when I get up which is no fun when you’re on holidays. I give them the couch and keep my bed meaning they can stay up but they’d have to sleep on a couch and again a lack of doors means lights and noise would keep me awake.

Am I being uptight about this? Am I being an ungracious host? I feel like I am but again, one bedroom open plan apartment! Keep in mind they have parents in the area who have spare bedrooms. Oh, and Beth lives 2 minutes away with a spare bedroom who is also close friends with Meg. I can’t say no but what do I do with them?


Tuesday Jan 29, 2013

My parents were big on giving nicknames to Sabine and I as children. There is one that I do not tell people about, there are the nonsensical ones like pachooka and evagoomba, as well as the standard chicken, possum etc.

Dad used to call me troglodyte. I just thought it was a made up term of endearment.

Until an Ancient History class in year 11 when we were reading something abut primitive man/cave men stuff and I saw troglodyte written.

To my teacher and Beth I exclaimed, “That’s my Dad’s pet name for me!”

My teacher then asked me if my father liked me and explained what a troglodyte was.

I also thought my step-father made up the songs Black Betty, Ballroom Blitz and My Boomerang Won’t Come Back, because really, those can’t be real songs. Surely.

Parents and step-parents can be arseholes.

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