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All the pork pies!

Tuesday Jul 23, 2013

It feels like ages since I’ve written here so I thought I’d drop in and say hi.

Things are going okay. We had a round of redundancies at work and lost about a third of the IT department, most of them outsourced overseas. Will be interesting to see how long it takes for the roles to come back in house. They nearly always do.

I’ve had the flu and spent a few days last week dying at home. I am not a good sick person, I want to be left alone but then I get cranky when people don’t come over with soup and stroke my hair. I am a pleasant person. Still, was nice to have a couple of days at home.

I’ve got two gigs coming up, You Am I and Ash, both my 16 year old self and my current self are excited about this.

It’s been over a year now since Grandma died and the grief still surprises me. I was dusting and washing my tea cups and tea pots and had forgotten she’d put a sticker on the teapot I liked of hers. Tea Pot

She went through a phase where every time you’d visit she’d ask if you wanted any of her stuff. I’d say she was being morbid and I didn’t want her stuff (except for the teapot.) Didn’t realise it would be so fresh still this far after. Because she did some acting there’s film out there with her on it and I can’t bring myself to watch it. I miss the old duck.

I picked up a stray cat last week, she was living in a church across the road from me. Slept under my car at night, was ravenous when I started feeding her and was skinny. So I grabbed her and took her to the vet to see if she was microchipped, when they couldn’t get a hold of the owner for a couple of days I brought her home. She was a sweetheart, a little manx cat that when she was happy she’d wag her little tail.

Not Stray

Except it turns out she did have an owner, there is an apartment above the church that I didn’t know was there. And the owner had been worried sick. So yeah, I kidnapped a cat.

Anyway. I apologised a million times and the owner and I are okay, in fact I offered to cat sit for her if she ever needed it.

It’ll be a while before I “rescue” any strays again.

It’s my Dad’s 60th birthday this year. Sabine and I were trying to convince him to have a party, just do something. He decided he was going to the UK and that we should come with him. So come mid October Sabine, Pater and I will be spending a month in the UK. A week in Ireland and a week in France. If we make it through without killing each other it will be ah-mazing. I am going to eat all of the pork pies and have a lady date with ihatemyname. I’m going to work on my terrible rusty French, currently I only know the greetings, how to buy cigarettes and have to order a cheese and ham baguette. Should be enough. Is going to be awesome.

I’m single still although I am stealth dating J, and by stealth dating I mean we’re hanging out and he doesn’t know we’re dating. I’m sorry but if I make out with you and then go to Ikea with you on a Sunday? Dating. If I go furniture shopping with you? Dating. If I spend weekend afternoons at yours watching the IT Crowd and making out? Dating. If you come to things as my implied date? Dating.

It’s only creepy if you think about it too much…..

Poppy is still my furry faced little companion. She oscillates between being a complete jerk and being a sweetheart. Although she has taken to sitting beside my pillow of morning and staring at me until I wake up. This is the view and I do not like it.

Creepy Wake Up

She is not excited to see me, she is plotting my downfall and I ruined it by waking up, look at the suspicion and loathing on her face.

Overall things are good. How is everyone? Your hair looks great.


Friday Sep 21, 2012

Dot points because I can and I’m lazy:

– I’m single again and I’m sad. You know of my theory of the 3 relationship requirements? Right person, right place and right time? And even if just one is missing it’s all out of whack? Timing was our downfall. It was amicable and mutual and we broke up sitting in his car on the way to breakfast last weekend. I cried (recently I have been crying at everything, EVERYTHING) because it was the right thing for both of us right now and it sucked.

We’re going to try being friends, we were friends for a while before we started with the dating. I mentioned though that all that time I’d been trying to get into his pants. I said tearfully, sadly and snottily, “I like what’s in your pants.”

I kept it classy obviously.

I really hope we do, I’m not ready to give him up just yet. He’s worth it, he’s always been worth it.

Actually, I’m not really feeling like posting anything more.

I hope you’re all well xx


Tuesday Jun 12, 2012

It’s been over a month now since Grandma passed away. Things have gone back to normal which is weird. There’s a gap now with normal for me, I went down to visit Dad on the weekend and stayed at Grandma’s house.

She’s not there anymore. Her home is cold and empty, for a little woman she took up a hell of a lot of space.

The morning after she passed away I was making a cup of tea in her kitchen, having a bit of a cry and her music box in the lounge room started playing. It was a nice feeling. That feeling has gone now, which is sad.

But life has gone on as normal, in fact a couple of good things have happened since then.

Work is going really well. It’s crazy busy with this massive project I’m the technical lead on, this project is a career changer for me and it’s great technology so I’m tired but really enjoying it.

The second?

There’s a boy.

I’d been trying to seduce him for ages on twitter (I give good email.) And surprisingly enough it worked. He’s all kinds of awesome and I think he’s the bees knees. He doesn’t seem to mind me either, which is always a bonus.

So I get to regularly make out with a gorgeous boy, which is all kinds of tops.

Although in my classic smooth style I told him I liked his face. I’m retarded with this stuff.

How’s everyone going?


Wednesday Mar 28, 2012

Hello there.

Thought I’d pop in and do a quick update, I’m still finding blogging in my real name stifling and hate when people just end a blog without any updates of what’s going on. I’m nosy, I assume other people are too.

Things are good.

MormonHousewife and her family moved to the mid north coast a few months ago so I went on a road trip over the weekend to see them. I miss her face, I miss chatting with her husband and I miss her babies.

6 hours driving is ridiculously boring when you’re on your own. Stella did an amazing job as usual (I love that fucking car) and I got to see where they’re living, I didn’t like not knowing what their house looked like or what their new town looked like. It’s a gorgeous little coastal town and at night we’d go for walks down to the beach, it’s perfect for them. The babies are tanned and happy.

I’m planning a trip early next year to the US with a friend. We know we’ll be staying in San Francisco for a few days and that we’ll be driving from Chicago to New York, still trying to decide if we do a road trip from San Fran to Utah. I imagine the landscape in Utah is beautiful in spring. Apart from that we’ll fill in the blanks as we get closer. I’m ridiculously excited, despite saving up for the trip with rent and a mortgage pushing me into poh child territory.

My grandma turned 89 Monday. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she initially denied it was her birthday. I can never tell if she’s being cheeky or senile. She then said she forgets she’s this old, that she still thinks she’s either 19 or 70, considering she was fighting in World War II at 19 I thnk 70 is a better age.

She then promised she’d go out and razzle and dazzle. Since this is my grandma this could mean anything, she’s a saucy minx.

I went over to Kalgoorlie for Christmas and to visit my mum and sister. Despite being hot as balls it was a lovely trip. Sabine and I did a road trip and despite seeing a few road trains, a couple of old cemetaries and almost hitting a goanna there’s not much out there.

2012 is still the year of no casual men business. So far I’m doing well. I can’t do what I’ve always done and expect not to be disappointed in the men I’m involved with. I will always choose being single and content over hearing another man tell me between his wife/girlfriend/partner and I we’re his ideal woman, or that a man I start dating is secretly married or that someone is not okay with being seen with me out in public. I can’t do it and I won’t do it. I don’t want to expect that all men will behave like this, because I know men that don’t. I just seem to find them.

Work is going well, it ossilates between being uber busy and ridiculously quiet.

So, that’s what’s been happening. I’m not sure if I’ll start writing here regularly again but just wanted to say hello.


ughhhh mach 2

Wednesday Jul 20, 2011

Fucking gross.

I just logged onto my profile on the dating site for the first time in a couple of months.

Did a search for my latest matches were online. Turns out homeboy has re-activated his account.

The funny thing? His tag line is:

“I’m one of the nice guys!”


I don’t know why I’m surprised really, but I am. Even knowing he’s someone who cheats on his wife with a newborn child at home I genuinely thought he was remorseful, that it was a lapse in judgement.

I didn’t pick myself as gullible.

But colour me gullible!

I really don’t like boys right now.


Sunday Jun 26, 2011

I ended up sending “The Nice Boy” a text message Friday, I didn’t want to call him and I certainly didn’t want to see him. I sent:

” So. Discovered today that you’re married with a child. That must’ve slipped your mind. Not going to be able to see you anymore, clearly.”

It was snarky, but hey, I figured it was warranted. I got the below back a few minutes later:

“I’m really sorry. I was going to stop anyway as I have felt nothing but guilt! I am not that kind of person but have had a moment of weakness. Your discretion would be appreciated. Thanks!!!”

That’s word for word what he said. The emphasis is mine…..


My discretion? FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK you. I have nothing to be discretionary about douchewad. I especially liked the Thanks!!! at the end, because 3 exclamation points is always appropriate when you’re requesting that someone not expose your dirty little secret to your wife and child. I did the maths of when we first started chatting and when their child was born, and homeboy was emailing me while there was a 2-3 week old child at home. Charming.

I am very grateful that I found out now, rather than later on, muchos grateful. The things that annoys me the most about this is:

1. I liked the kid and I’m a little pissed at myself for not picking up anything unusual. I used to trust my gut, and this time el gut let me down.
2. This is the first time in a long time I’ve put myself out there, it obviously did not turn out too well.
3. I’m worried that I’ll be a little mistrustful of men I date now. I did not need to be more cynical.

Either way it’s done and thankfully I’ll never see or hear from him again. I am taking a couple of weeks off the dating horse though.


Thursday Jun 23, 2011

So. The boy from the below post?

My mad Facebook skillz just discovered he’s married, and has a new born child.


How on earth do I find these boys?

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