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Saturday Apr 25, 2015

I try not to give advice, because I am shit at taking it, but do not get broken into.

We were broken into last weekend and it has been a fucking nightmare. First, we were idiots and left our back door unlocked (entry point) but someone broke in after we (my sister and I) went to bed. They took my handbag (my beautiful new handbag!), my sisters wallet and the worst part came into our bedrooms to see what else they could take.

We, luckily, slept through it all but the creepy factor of having a stranger come into your home and watch you sleep is off the charts. Poppy sleeps in my bedroom at night with the door closed and the noise of her fighting with Sabine’s cat woke Sabine up at 2 a.m. when we discovered the break in. The police were excellent and came out and took statements soon after, we cancelled all of our cards that night so the thief didn’t actually get any money from us.

He’d stolen my keys, including my only car key so I stayed at home Monday to get a car locksmith out to cut a new key (segue! If you want a career where you make ludicrous amounts of money, become a locksmith. $400 for a basic new car key!) So Monday morning, Sabine leaves at her normal time for work, I slosh out of my bedroom in time to see someone jump our back fence. The fuck head had come back, we’re assuming to take what they couldn’t Saturday night.

I was instantly furious. An instant ball of fury in a chubby chick’s body, wearing pyjamas, no bra and hair like Medusa.  I shout out and ask him what the fuck he is doing and to get out. He looks surprised and gormless for a couple of seconds and jumps back over the fence.

Call the police, again. Finger print person comes out, finds only weird prints as he was wearing mesh gloves. While the locksmith is out changing our front door lock I find a note under our front door from the upstairs neighbours, they were broken into on Saturday night, did we see anything? Homeboy has been busy.

We put notes up around the apartment building with our mobile numbers, two other apartments have been broken into in the past week. Receive a hot tip from a neighbour about a local guy matching the description of fence jumper which I pass onto the police. There’s been a spate of break ins in the area and the constable thinks it’s all the one guy. Finger print people find a print from the upstairs apartment, so they at least have a description and a print now.

Spend most of the week organising for replacement cards, locksmith to come change our locks as he has our front door key, speaking with neighbours and police and using the excuse of ‘I was a victim of crime’ to my boss whenever I’m late for a meeting.

So yes, lock your doors and don’t get broken into. It’s bloody exhausting and scary.

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