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Bouquet

Monday Mar 30, 2015

So, my sister, Sabine, and I moved in together about 7 or 8 months ago. Since we’re both still alive I’m deeming it a success. I have noticed a few things though:

1. We are become more and more stupid the longer we live together. Last week Sabine apologised when her stomach growled. Except it was my stomach. She just assumed it was her and wasn’t worried that she wasn’t hungry or that she didn’t feel the growl. I am constantly saying and doing stupid things, I live to lie uncomfortable close to her and ask if she needs a hug. B

2. We are regressing to our childhood state. On the weekend I ran at her while carrying a 10 kilogram bag of river stones. Then was surprised that it hurt her. I also brush past her daily but it’s less brushing and more sexual harassment. (I also like to suggestively booty dance at her in my underpants even though she is a massive prude.)

3. Our cats (we have two now, I still have the Popster and Sabine’s old and cranky cat has moved in too) hate each other. After 6 months of living together they still stare at each other across the apartment like Maggie and her monobrowed baby nemesis. Her cat also hates me with a fiery passion even though I am desperate for it to love me. I don’t even particularly like her cat and call it a fuck face on a daily basis. But despite all my kind words and food bribery she continues to hiss at me constantly. I am torn between regularly trying to win her over whilst training Poppy to hunt her.

I think in essence we’ve just reverted to our childhood selves since we rarely lived together growing up and last lived together properly when we were about 6 or 7?

Essentially I’ve become the obnoxious younger sibling and she has become Hyacinth Bucket and we interact exactly like Emmett and Hyacinth.


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