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Used to be

Monday Nov 26, 2012

Man, I was reading through my archives the other day and remember when I used to be funny?

I remember those days fondly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still funny as fuck today. I just don’t write my hilarious-ness down here anymore.

(There is a car alarm going off near my apartment, and has been going off for the past 30 minutes. When you’re as easily irritated as me that is a period where I have looked at all of the objects in my apartment of figure out if I could use them to club the alarm/car/owner. So far all I’ve come up with is my body brush thing I used to exfoliate with and a chopping board. I need some more lethal weapons stat.)

I am boring. Actually, I have always been boring. I am bored with my routine at the moment. I have a good job, it pays the bills and I have just the right amount of responsibility and complete lack of ownership that I don’t break out in hives at the idea of going to work. I have a lovely apartment. I have good relationships with my family. My friends are amazing and are a high point in my life.

I just would like to do something.

So, here’s where I need your help. Should I:

1. Get a tattoo while on our family NZ Griswald’s campervan holiday? Sabine and I are thinking of both getting grandma’s name tattooed in her handwriting. We’re going to bury her ashes with her parents so it’s a perfect time to do it and I miss the old duck dearly. Yes/No?

2. Do I go on a road trip on my own this Christmas holidays? I’m thinking Melbourne to see my beloved Daniel and Joy. Yes/No?

3. Do I follow my heart and throw myself at the ex who I desperately miss? This kid is amazing and I miss him and his face more and more each day. I’m a better person when I’m with him but then even with my stubbornness and sheer willpower can I just say “fuck bad timing” and see if it might work/if he wants me?

Would love your input. I have to go destroy a car with my chopping board, so if you’ll excuse me.


Good

Tuesday Nov 6, 2012

Such a good week so far.

Hanging with the Popster (the Dad kind rather than with my cat Poppy), receiving some fantastic news from my Mum that has been causing immense stress and an upset stomach for months and months, getting to spend Friday night with Meg the Mormon Housewife, getting my new sideboard as well as an early mark today because of the Melbourne Cup.

(In true Lucy fashion I pulled an Irish exit, leaving work during drinks before the actual race and listened to it in my car driving home.)

I’m deeply disappointed in my previously favourite man on Big Brother, Michael, for pashing Estelle. But I’m looking forward to winning the $100 million lottery tonight.

(I’ve worked out I’d need 7 million to never work again, but look, I’d accept a million.)

I haven’t made out with a cute boy in months and it’s starting to bother me. I keep having dirty sex dreams about men I work with, are married to my friends or who used to teach me in high school. I’m averting eye contact A LOT with my friends and colleagues lately.

How are you? Also having sex dreams about inappropriate people?


Miss

Sunday Nov 4, 2012

I had a lovely day with my Dad today, we had breakfast out (bacon & egg gnocchi with truffle oil, ridiculously good) and went shopping and talked for a solid 6 hours.

Whenever there is upheaval going on I always call him and ask what type of planetary movements are going on (he’s a hippy). Apparently there’s both a 30 year cycle and a 7 year cycle this year. 7 years ago grandad passed away, 7 years later Grandma died. Despite my cynicism for hippy bullshit there tends to be something going on in my life, my family’s or my friends lives to mirror this.

Despite things settling down for me in the past month or two the latter part of 2012 will always be about missing people. I miss my Mum and my sister who both live on the other side of the country. I miss John and his face. I miss my grandma desperately.

But even with that said I’ve still got plenty of people present who I luckily don’t miss, my Dad and my wonderful wonderful friends. Work is going pretty well at the moment, financially I’m doing well, I’ve got plans to do things, I’ve got a few weeks off work over Christmas, I get to see Meg and her babies and I need to keep focusing on that which I have rather than being Eeyore and occasionally being sad.

This week I’ve bought myself pretty things I’ve been coveting for months and months.

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Yesterday I got to drive a ute and it was fucking awesome. (People really get out of your way in a bigger vehicle. I command absolutely no respect in a Barina.) Today I hung out my pappy, this afternoon I caught up with Beth and DJ, yesterday I had lunch with Adam, tonight I have a quiet night and hang with the Popster.

So yes, missing and enjoying at the moment in equal measures.


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