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“closure”

Saturday Sep 29, 2012

I spent last night in my Grandma’s house. I was alone and she passed away 4 months ago.

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I’ve been avoiding going down to Goulburn since the funeral. I love my grandma and miss her terribly. Grams and her home have been such a constant for Sabine and I in a sometimes turbulent childhood, and the idea of being in her home, surrounded by her things, smelling of her but without her in it was just too much.

But the last couple of weeks I’ve begun to accept the fact that she’s gone, and just feel really grateful that I got to have her in my life. Because man, she was a cool lady. She’s funny as fuck, and smart and cheeky and was sharp, gave great hugs and I genuinely liked her.

The family owns the house next door to Grandma’s house which Dad lives in, so when I went down this weekend I’d thought I’d stay at Grandma’s and it was such a comfort. It was warm and peaceful and wonderful to be there. I slept like a baby, I hung out in her backyard and read a book, I sat in her chair and I feel good.

I still miss her desperately but it was a nice way to say my own goodbye to her.


Classy

Friday Sep 21, 2012

Dot points because I can and I’m lazy:

– I’m single again and I’m sad. You know of my theory of the 3 relationship requirements? Right person, right place and right time? And even if just one is missing it’s all out of whack? Timing was our downfall. It was amicable and mutual and we broke up sitting in his car on the way to breakfast last weekend. I cried (recently I have been crying at everything, EVERYTHING) because it was the right thing for both of us right now and it sucked.

We’re going to try being friends, we were friends for a while before we started with the dating. I mentioned though that all that time I’d been trying to get into his pants. I said tearfully, sadly and snottily, “I like what’s in your pants.”

I kept it classy obviously.

I really hope we do, I’m not ready to give him up just yet. He’s worth it, he’s always been worth it.

Actually, I’m not really feeling like posting anything more.

I hope you’re all well xx


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