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Tuesday Apr 24, 2012

Things are a bit overwhelming at the moment.

My grandma isn’t well. She’s 89 so not entirely unusual but it looks like the mild form of dementia she’s suffered from and lived with for a while is kicking her arse at the moment. She’s confused, she’s agitated, she’s distressed, she’s not sleeping, she’s alternatively paranoid about her family and lovely and affectionate and it’s breaking my heart.

I’m down there with her 2 nights a week at the moment, the rest of the family based there are exhausted looking after her and I wanted to help. She’s back in hospital at the moment and will be assessed over the next week to see whether it’s the dementia or something else.

I’m so sad, I’m smack bang in the middle of a depressive episode and there’s all of this other personal stuff that just keeps piling on that I’m officially overwhelmed. My family is struggling, both sides of the family.

I’m struggling to watch Gram’s deteriorate like this, the moments of lucudity are even worse, where she realises what’s happening and is distressed.

We don’t know what’s going to happen next, we just know that we want to keep her in her own home for as long as we possibly can. That’s the goal at the moment.

That’s all I have at the moment.

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