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uggghhhhhh

Sunday Jun 26, 2011

I ended up sending “The Nice Boy” a text message Friday, I didn’t want to call him and I certainly didn’t want to see him. I sent:

” So. Discovered today that you’re married with a child. That must’ve slipped your mind. Not going to be able to see you anymore, clearly.”

It was snarky, but hey, I figured it was warranted. I got the below back a few minutes later:

“I’m really sorry. I was going to stop anyway as I have felt nothing but guilt! I am not that kind of person but have had a moment of weakness. Your discretion would be appreciated. Thanks!!!”

That’s word for word what he said. The emphasis is mine…..

Uuuuugggghhh.

My discretion? FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK you. I have nothing to be discretionary about douchewad. I especially liked the Thanks!!! at the end, because 3 exclamation points is always appropriate when you’re requesting that someone not expose your dirty little secret to your wife and child. I did the maths of when we first started chatting and when their child was born, and homeboy was emailing me while there was a 2-3 week old child at home. Charming.

I am very grateful that I found out now, rather than later on, muchos grateful. The things that annoys me the most about this is:

1. I liked the kid and I’m a little pissed at myself for not picking up anything unusual. I used to trust my gut, and this time el gut let me down.
2. This is the first time in a long time I’ve put myself out there, it obviously did not turn out too well.
3. I’m worried that I’ll be a little mistrustful of men I date now. I did not need to be more cynical.

Either way it’s done and thankfully I’ll never see or hear from him again. I am taking a couple of weeks off the dating horse though.


Uh…

Thursday Jun 23, 2011

So. The boy from the below post?

My mad Facebook skillz just discovered he’s married, and has a new born child.

Ergh.

How on earth do I find these boys?


2

Wednesday Jun 8, 2011

Two quick(ish) things:

1. I had my second date with one of the online dating boys last night. He is completely different to me:

– he loves sport, like fanatical about football and golf.
– he drives a ute.
– his favourite musician is an Australian country singer.
– He does not read (for real yo)

Despite all of this he is kind of awesome, has the most gorgeous face I love to make out with (don’t act surprised that I put out on the first date), is adorably funny and is actually a lovely nice guy.

Now I’m left with the dilemma of what to do. I’ve been emailing and texting with 2 other great guys for the past few weeks and feel like a complete douche if I was to pull out of at least meeting them. Especially since there’s no guarantee that the 2nd date boy likes me or wants anything from me. Yet I dig him. So I’m torn.

Stupid full man plate.

2. You know my crazy lady tenant? Um. She has pleurisy. Like for real pleurisy, not the self-diagnosed pleurisy my friends and I have when we have a cold.

I sent her a get well card and hope like fuck it’s not contagious since I spent a couple of hours with her only a fortnight ago.

Maybe I really do have pleurisy! Take that self-diagnosed whooping cougher Sabine!


Impressions

Monday Jun 6, 2011

– This dating thing is freakin’ exhausting! I don’t know how people do this shiz for years. All the preening and being on my best behaviour is quite difficult for a slobby foul mouth.

– I’ve been emailing and texting with a few different boys and whether it’s my swiss cheese memory this keeping up with what I’ve told who is doing my head in. I’ll be half way through an email with one of the boys before realising that nope, already told him that or hmm, no, haven’t got to that point yet. Thank christ for sent mail or I’d be fucked.

– One of the boys I was chatting with put me off with a couple of comments he made. On their own I could write them off. Together they made him seem arrogant and pushy, making me uneasy. So I had to pull back but I didn’t want to do the brutal honesty thing where I told him he was beginning to sound like a douchebag. So I lied, told him I’d met someone. Lesser of two evils. His response just confirmed that my gut reaction had been right. He said that it was unlikely that I had met someone since I was engaged.

Riiiiiight.

I wear a silver ring on my right hand. Homeboy had obviously gotten the hands mixed up and confused a sterling silver ring with an engagement rock.

That was a good choice then.

– My self-esteem is retarded.

Most of me thinks I am the bees knees and the cats pyjamas. I’m funny, kind of cute, I’m relatively smart (when I’m not smacking myself in the face trying to pull up my sleeves) and I’m kind of cool.

Yet the two times I’ve met with someone I’m convinced that they’re going to grimace when they see me and walk away. That they’ll think my personality is obnoxious and do that vague promise to catch up again, at some point, when things quiet down.

I’ve given myself a few mental uppercuts, but yes, my self esteem can be a moody bitch.

– I’m surprised how good my experience with the whole online dating thing has been though to be honest. I’m not sure whether I’ve been lucky or just have too many male friends but I’ve met two great guys and have 2 more to meet before I finish up.

Maybe it’s just doing it for a short period of time. The battle worn women who have been doing it for years, whose profiles are full of DO NOT CONTACT ME IF A OR B OR C! maybe should’ve bowed out a while ago. They are very entertaining though and appear genuinely upset when no one seems to find their shrieking bitter profiles attractive and ask “where all the decent men are on here?”

– I’m closing off my profile though this week. My man plate is full and I’m happy to meet with the men I’m already corresponding with.

– I’m surprised by the amount of duckface photos women have on their profiles though. Duckface is hilarious not sexy and should be kept Myspace and Facebook for idiot 13 year olds like my cousin. (Seriously, she’s an idiot.)

– I could’ve done without the messages though from 20 year old boys who tell me they love older woman. Fuck you kid. Or the 70 year old nudist who sent photos.

But yes, I’m enjoying things but am strangely looking forward to not watching my mouth and not having to shave my legs every day.

(It’s fricking winter! I should look like a yeti by now!)


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