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speed sweat and raging racists

Wednesday May 25, 2011

This year I don’t think I did my usual mission statement (my way of making resolutions without using the word resolution.)

I wanted to actually do stuff, rather than just continuing to write about doing stuff.

I’m quite comfortable being complacent. I’m comfortable within my comfort zone.

I need to push myself to actually try new things, to do things that scare the shit out of me.

I mean, I’m not looking to change my life, I’m not looking to change me. I think I’m pretty tops just the way I am. I just need to stop being so bloody anti-social. Because apparently there is a life outside my lounge room and TV.

Allegedly anyway.

So, the house buying, the car buying, the work training and the dating site.

We all know I bought a teeny little car, I called it Stella, and I fucking love it. Once or twice a month I’ll do a roadtrip, stock up on red bull and cigarettes, charge the iPod and fang (well, as much as a red P plater can fang) up the highway.

I sing loudly and badly, I adore it.

The house buying has finished. I’ve already arranged for some repairs so my crazy tenant is happy, I’ve set up my mortgage payments (which are less than I thought – score!) I’m also still thinking of my farm, I want my farm (sad face.)

Work training has been…..I don’t think disaster is the word, let’s say it’s just pinpointed the direction I do not want to go with my career.

The dating?

Has been surprisingly retardedly successful.

I went on a date with a doctor last week. A freaking doctor. I mean sure we totally hit it off as friends, but he’s an awesome guy. Cute, sarcastic, funny. We have Masterchef chats and bitch about the contestants.

I went on a date last night with a total Australian guy. My age, loves football, plays golf, sells cars, typically Australian guy. But sweet as all hell and ridiculously cute.

I also made out with him and the boys got mad skillz.

On the internet dating thing, why do boys always display the most unflattering photos they can find? Both boys have very ordinary photos up, both are way cute in real life.

Boys don’t seem to get the concept of flattering angles or lighting, they do not seem to care if a photo is blurry or they have a double chin or a slightly retarded look on their face.

It would be like if I used this photo on my profile.

crazy bed hair

(I seriously woke up with that hair the other morning. I don’t even want to think about how I slept to end up with that.)

I’m not going to lie, I’m not looking for a husband or even a serious boyfriend. I want someone I can have fun with and hang out with.

And it’s scary as fuck though. I keep waiting for someone to rock up for a meet up and crinkle their nose and go, “No, you are not cute or cool. Bai.”

I keep waiting for those horror dates, for someone to be a raging racist, for the man who rocks up stinking of booze or speed sweat. I could live without these, but yes, so far no drama, no arseholes.

Go team internet dating!


You are a hot bitch. I want to frame that picture and put it on my wall.

And good on you for the internet dating. Brave, brave girl.

(p.s. NORKS!)

May 26th, 2011 | 3:20 pm

I am a well hot bitch.

I should introduce you to the doctor when you become Sydney Sabine again, he is cool and is a bit of a lush so you’re perfectly suited.

(TA TA’s!)

May 26th, 2011 | 3:40 pm
Mr. Guinness:

I suppose a low mortgage payment, two dates, and being happy with you qualifies as great, BUT why is it I see you standing in the mechanics looking at Stella getting and oil change and yelling,…(wait for it)..STELLLA!!
It’s a Brando thing. 🙂

June 1st, 2011 | 11:10 pm
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