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speed sweat and raging racists

Wednesday May 25, 2011

This year I don’t think I did my usual mission statement (my way of making resolutions without using the word resolution.)

I wanted to actually do stuff, rather than just continuing to write about doing stuff.

I’m quite comfortable being complacent. I’m comfortable within my comfort zone.

I need to push myself to actually try new things, to do things that scare the shit out of me.

I mean, I’m not looking to change my life, I’m not looking to change me. I think I’m pretty tops just the way I am. I just need to stop being so bloody anti-social. Because apparently there is a life outside my lounge room and TV.

Allegedly anyway.

So, the house buying, the car buying, the work training and the dating site.

We all know I bought a teeny little car, I called it Stella, and I fucking love it. Once or twice a month I’ll do a roadtrip, stock up on red bull and cigarettes, charge the iPod and fang (well, as much as a red P plater can fang) up the highway.

I sing loudly and badly, I adore it.

The house buying has finished. I’ve already arranged for some repairs so my crazy tenant is happy, I’ve set up my mortgage payments (which are less than I thought – score!) I’m also still thinking of my farm, I want my farm (sad face.)

Work training has been…..I don’t think disaster is the word, let’s say it’s just pinpointed the direction I do not want to go with my career.

The dating?

Has been surprisingly retardedly successful.

I went on a date with a doctor last week. A freaking doctor. I mean sure we totally hit it off as friends, but he’s an awesome guy. Cute, sarcastic, funny. We have Masterchef chats and bitch about the contestants.

I went on a date last night with a total Australian guy. My age, loves football, plays golf, sells cars, typically Australian guy. But sweet as all hell and ridiculously cute.

I also made out with him and the boys got mad skillz.

On the internet dating thing, why do boys always display the most unflattering photos they can find? Both boys have very ordinary photos up, both are way cute in real life.

Boys don’t seem to get the concept of flattering angles or lighting, they do not seem to care if a photo is blurry or they have a double chin or a slightly retarded look on their face.

It would be like if I used this photo on my profile.

crazy bed hair

(I seriously woke up with that hair the other morning. I don’t even want to think about how I slept to end up with that.)

I’m not going to lie, I’m not looking for a husband or even a serious boyfriend. I want someone I can have fun with and hang out with.

And it’s scary as fuck though. I keep waiting for someone to rock up for a meet up and crinkle their nose and go, “No, you are not cute or cool. Bai.”

I keep waiting for those horror dates, for someone to be a raging racist, for the man who rocks up stinking of booze or speed sweat. I could live without these, but yes, so far no drama, no arseholes.

Go team internet dating!


hello! (is it me you’re looking for?)

Tuesday May 17, 2011

Good lord, time flies away on this thing. Because I’ve only got 20 minutes before I go home you get half arsed bullet points! Yay!

Property Baron status – I settled yesterday and I officially am a home owner. I did a final walk through of the apartment yesterday before settlement and God I love the place. Actually, I love the potential in the place. The current tenant has been there for 28 years, I am more than happy for her to stay and help me pay off the mortgage. The place is immaculate and she’s the perfect tenant.

Sure, she’s as mad as a cut snake and wears her lipstick outside of her natural lip line. Sure I went over for a quick 15 minute chat and left 2 hours later (she.talked.so.much) after giving her permission to paint and do some other cosmetic changes. I mean hell, when she moves out/croaks (she’s old!) I’m stripping everything back anyway so knock yourself our lady with your decoupage.

(She painted the shower screen pink. She’s a nut.)

Dating Site – It’s going okay actually, I had my first “date” last week. With a doctor (wooooo – mother was pleased.) Sure he was a typical arrogant doctor and we got along far better as friends, but if I ever get shot after getting up to dodgy antics I totally have someone to extract it!

I was also the recipient of an email with 4 photos attached after making a comment that I dig nerdy boys. It was from a guy with an un-ironic moustache and the photos were of his D&D figurines that he’d proudly painted…….

I haven’t responded yet. I am not too sure what to say to that. I like my nerds, but not to that extent.

30 for 30 – I’ve set myself a goal of writing a 30 bucket list, 30 things to do while I’m 30. Sure the first (and only) items I’ve put down are “go on a blind date” and “buy property” (check and CHECK!) but I think it’s going to be a good thing for me to do to get out there and stop being hermit lady.

I love being hermit lady but I really need to force myself to get out and do things, so yes, it’s a Get Off Your Arse and Do Shit list.

Sabine – I’ve decided to start a harassment campaign to get Sabine to move back to Sydney. If you feel like harassing a stranger you’ve never met (except for a couple of you) please leave a comment to Sabine about how living in a desert town is lame and she should move back to Sydney so we can go for more trips to Ikea where I drive with the handbrake on and hiss at small children who get in our way.


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