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Wednesday 28th April

Wednesday Apr 28, 2010

Huh. Who knew it had been 3 weeks since I last updated?

Blame work. By the time I’ve finished work for the day staying back to post is the last thing I feel like doing. I wonder if there’s a WordPress app for a Blackberry so I could post from home?


I had my birthday last week. I am 29 and well old. Beth has…issues with aging. She thinks because she spent her last birthday in bed with whooping cough that she’s lost a year. Surprisingly this is progress from her 21st when she hyperventilated. Literally hyperventilated because she was old. In comparison I am feeling peachy!

I got sent flowers at work, I got cool presents and Dad even remembered the day and called. Sure, if it wasn’t for Facebook reminding him it was my birthday he is likely to have forgotten but I’m pretty sure he took a lot of drugs in the 70’s so you can’t expect much.

Mel (my work sidekick) is on leave at the moment and I am slammed with work. Do not question how I have time to write this unless you want me to cut you. So she’s never allowed to take leave ever again. Ever.

We had a ladies lunch on Saturday here and it was so good that we didn’t leave the place until 11-12 that night. That good. Actually it’s likely that the wine was the cause of the 12 hour lunch but still.

So, after we finish lunch we move out into the courtyard to have a few drinks. All civilised and lovely and one of the girls mentioned a few of her friends will be popping in later, more the merrier etc etc.

Except one of her friends was a guy who (what’s a good way of saying this without me looking like a raging whore) I had a sleepover with a couple of years ago. It was exactly what it was, we’d met a few times, I thought he was cute, it ended at my place and that was that. So when he’s being introduced to everyone, he looks at Beth (who I knew him from) says hi, looks at me and says, “I don’t think we’ve met before.”

Oh. Really.

Here’s the thing, I have a pretty unusual first name, am a relatively cute but chubby girl and trust me, I am a minx in the sack, you do not forget me. And of course later that night he came over and had miraculously gotten over his memory loss.

Beth, being Beth, told him he was a douchebag. I agreed, and he was a bit surprised.

I’d have been offended if he was a better kisser. But I wasn’t because I knew I was following the one-night-stand rules:

  1. Don’t leave your number.
  2. Take it for what it was for (one time occurrence.)
  3. If you meet again be civil but polite.

Sydney is a small place, you will meet someone you’ve slept with again, hell I used to work with a guy I lost my virginity to. That was interesting.

So, yes, he could’ve even been the one to break the 3 month celibacy period but for the fact that he didn’t follow the one-night-stand etiquette and annoyed me.

Apart from that it was a great day. Sure my sister and her boyfriend may have broken up the next day, and sure Beth’s car was broken into while left parked outside. We still had good food and a good 10-12 hours of drinking wine.


This weekend we have a road trip. It’s K’s birthday soon so we’re heading to her hometown which is a town a few hours outside of Sydney for the weekend. Her family are stereotypical country Australians, and so very very lovely. This means I will drink a lot of alcohol and hopefully do lots of driving (not at the same time.)


Saturday I went with Beth to help her find a wedding dress. I’ve done this twice before, once with Meg the Mormon Housewife, and once with Bec, my oldest friend.

Watching them try on dresses left me in a teary mess. Watching Beth try on dresses sent me into fits of giggles. She was being shoved into meringue style dresses that when she’d leave the change rooms were so big and puffy she would start sweeping other dresses off their racks as she walked past.

The white dresses looked ridiculous, there were diamantes and beading EVERYWHERE and frankly if she wasn’t laughing she would’ve been in hysterics.

She’s the reluctant bride as it is (she’s not a fan of commitment, it gives her hives) so she’s decided to get rid of the big wedding dress and go for a cocktail length dress instead.

Thank god because I can’t spend another Saturday morning in a bridal shop.

it sucked

Thursday Apr 8, 2010

Turns out I’m an idiot.

I know. You’re as shocked as I am.

My driving test was set for this afternoon. I called to confirm yesterday and found out I’d booked myself in to do my learners permit test instead of my driving test.

The next available spot is the 5th of May. So I don’t get to do my driving test this month, and I don’t get to have Beth’s car for the next fortnight while she’s overseas.

In addition to waiting on hold with Telstra for an hour, having an awesomely rude staff member call me and be, awesomely rude I suppose, frocking up and heading into the city for a meeting and finding out it was scheduled for next week instead meant yesterday seriously sucked balls.

Since I was in the city anyway I went to the QVB and shopped; one pair of pony skin ballet flats (I don’t think they’re real, I hope not anyway) and a gorgeous head scarf later I went home, had a shower, got into my pyjamas, cooked macaroni and cheese and went to bed early. Today is much better.


I’m entering the home stretch of this ridiculously stupid self-enforced celibacy period. It ends on my birthday this month (the 22nd) and while I’ve cut ties with the boys I would normally make out with I have zero plans on how to end it. Zip. I’m hoping that inspiration will strike because otherwise the no-penis zone will continue into its 4th month and THAT will be unacceptable.


I have an appointment with my beautician on Saturday and I am scared. She’s been waxing me for years, and she’s been harassing me for years to let her give me a facial (snort.) Considering that I buy my skin care stuff from her I think paying her to wash my face with the same products is ludicrous.

But she somehow managed to convince me last visit so I’ve booked in for a ONE-TIME-ONLY facial (heh) and she looked far too happy to learn she had free licence to attack my skin. She is a ridiculously tiny girl my age, and for someone so little she is going to decimate me. If it’s really bad I’ll take photos and post them to twitter (@theantilogy.)


You know that ridiculous website I linked to a couple of posts ago, the Christian one that was unintentionally hilarious? Because I like a good giggle I visited the site again today and found these awesome gems:

How women really don’t want their husbands to help with household chores: “Most women don’t want their husbands to do 50 percent of the housework. The idea that they do is a lie.”

On wedding announcements: “The bride’s career accomplishments should not be listed at all. They are not something to brag about and are irrelevant to her new role as wife, except as a possible indicator of her utter unfitfulness for the role. It’s a cheapening of womanhood.”

And my favourite post about sexual assault in the military, I can’t pull just one of the awesome and wrong quotes from this post but go read it. (Below is probably the best, read: worst):

“I am so angry about women intruding themselves into those parts of the military where they don’t belong, that when I hear about a “rape,” I often think, Well, that’s what you’re there for, isn’t it?”


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