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Wednesday Sep 30, 2009

I’m an idiot.

Monday morning I had the day off, I was on my way to do some grocery shopping so I switched on my straightener to sort out my fringe.

After a few minutes I came back and realised the straightener was dead cold. I switched outlets, I jiggled the cords. My straightener was dead. Saddest story.

So, I decided to buy a new straightener while I was outshopping. Spent nearly $100 on a replacement one. Came home, unpacked the groceries, flopped on the lounge to watch some TV and it wouldn’t turn on. I realise there’s a power outage. I check my fuse box, the safety switch had been tripped so I unswitch it and everything’s fine. I watch some TV and it slowly dawns on me that a straightener would not work during a power outage.

I not only spend $100 on a straightener I didn’t need, but I threw the straightener out on my way shopping so I threw out a perfectly good appliance.


(Weekend was great catching up with the family and drinking far too much cranberry champagne. Except for the fact it was so fucking cold that the area was predicted to get snow. I was not prepared for snow, so the cute new dress I bought? Useless, I would’ve been dead from hypothermia in 15 minutes. Lucky there is a long weekend this weekend so we’re planning a picnic that it can have its maiden outing at. At least there’ll be no snow predicted for Sydney. Fucking cold [insert country town name here.])

Everyone have good weekends?

costumes and morbid grandmothers and stuff

Friday Sep 25, 2009
  • I’m sorry to disappoint but I’ve decided not to dress up in costume for this party this weekend.  I may be the fun police but I have retained my remaining diginity and I do not apologise for that. Besides, I bought a new maxi dress so it’s a costume of sorts in that it’s so fricking adorable.
  • I head to (insert country town) this weekend for my cousins 30th birthday. It’s going to be good, and by good I mean likely to make fun of the people in costume because I am terribly anti-social like that. And also not freeze to death, and also dodge the second dust storm that they’re predicting we’ll have again.
  • I’ll also be catching up with Grams which I just don’t do enough of. But then she’s nearing 90, is razor sharp and keeps trying to give away all of her belongings each time family visits. I find it morbid and have told her that but she still managed to give me (an admittedly beautiful) teapot last time I visited so I’m hoping she doesn’t foist anything else on me. (Actually I did score a wedgewood piece last time which is just beautiful. But no more! ) The old woman will outlive us all, she’s pretty much me but add 65 years, but tougher and knows more German swear words too. I am way soft in comparision. In fact she calls me mean words in Welsh that all pretty much mean soft and weak. She is tough, but awesome.
  • I’m trialling an iPhone for work and it’s driving me mental. I do not like it, but I have to support them now so I gots to learn to like them. The most fun I’ve had with the testing has been doing the remote wiping of it. Although the touch flow is mightily impressive. Either way I’ve got one too many Smartphone’s at the moment and I’ll be happy when I can give it back.
  • I’m taking Monday off work for annual leave. I don’t get home from (insert country town) until Sunday evening so I’m taking an extra day.
  • Beth and DJ are indeed taking a break. She is pissed, he is miserable. I don’t have much sympathy for him at the moment. It was a fuck up, but if it wasn’t for him sending flirty texts to another girl they wouldn’t be in this position. It’s just not good, I love both of them but I’m firmly on team Beth here. She’s doing okay though, which is good or sadly repressive, whatever fits I suppose.
  • Anyway, I’m heading off. As usual I post very lame updates on twitter if you need some Lucy love over the weekend.
  • Ewwww, Lucy love sounds like porn.

dust storms and stupid boys and stuff

Wednesday Sep 23, 2009

(I’m pre-menstrual, therefore I am cranky.)

(If you couldn’t tell.)

This dust storm that hit Sydney early this morning is really starting to annoy me. There’s strong winds and everything is dusty. My eyes sting, I can smell and taste dirt/dust everywhere and my hair is a fucking mess.

To make matters worse I’ve realised that the balcony door is open at home as usual. Which means there is a very strong chance that the dust is coating everything will be all over my balcony. And by default all over Poppy. And by default all over the new white/black rug I just bought. And by default my cream coloured lounge.

poppy rug

I am an idiot.

This has not been a good day.

So, Beth and DJ are taking a break.  If I see him before they sort things out I am going to smack him in the head. He’s a good guy but he’s a fucking idiot for jeopardising this. 

Gah, I think I’m going to head home early today. In this type of mood it’s best for everyone if I just stay at home and avoid people.


the drinking and fighting and stuff

Monday Sep 21, 2009

Oh dear.

Turns out having all day drinking sessions CAN turn out badly. Who knew?

Saturday started off well, the respective girlfriends dropped off the boys to the local at 8:00 a.m. The girls met up for breakfast later in the morning and manicures and headed to the pub in the early afternoon.

Things went pretty well for about 10 hours. Then they didn’t.

2 main things happened that resulted in Beth and I having a fight (we never fight) and Beth and DJ breaking up (I’m pretty sure it’s permanent.)

The thing with Beth and I was silly. DJ, for some stupid reason, thinks I’m awesome and is personally offended that I am still single and that I’m not fighting off cool guys with a big stick. It’s a nice thing for someone to say, but not for an hour and not when DJ has been drinking for 12 hours straight. So what was a deep and meaningful conversation to him was something that started to upset me, because look, I’m single right now and I’m enjoying being single and I’m not going to spend my singledom pining for a relationship. Just like when I’m in a relationship I enjoying being coupled, I’m not going to spend my time wishing I could sleep right down the centre of the bed or wishing I could make out with a strange boy. I’m happy with what I’ve got. Also, let’s be honest, I’ve been single for a while now and I don’t like to give it a huge amount of thought of why that is because frankly you give it too much thought and before you know it you’re Bridget Jones.

So, he was annoying me. And then Beth made a silly comment about me being rubbish with boys and I snapped at her. She snapped back. We very very rarely snap, fight or argue. So I burst into tears, and then I COULD NOT STOP.

What the hell?

I’ve never had a drunken cry in public, it’s just not my thing and to be honest I think girls who do should’ve just stayed at home in the first place rather than ruining my pleasant drunken buzz. I’m obviously very compassionate, yes? 

But I was that girl for the first time and it fucking sucked. God, because once you start a drunken cry you can’t stop. Terrible. So I did what I thought was the best, I put my sunglasses back on (it was 11:00 p.m), went outside, made Beth start talking to me again, and then I went home. Crying is so much more effective and relieving when done in private.

I called Beth yesterday to see how things had gone. Her brother and his wife were not speaking after she got hit on constantly all night (she’s hot) and Beth and DJ had a massive fight that ended up with DJ being made to take a Valium he was so worked up and Beth finding text messages in his phone he’d been sending to another girl. DJ is not usually a dick, but this is definitely, definitely not good.

All up, the day/afternoon/early evening was fine. Everything else after that? Terrible.

Lesson learned: keep DJ at home next time so he doesn’t make me cry or get himself into trouble. Or you know, maybe avoid the all day drinking sessions?

plans and nanna’s and stuff

Friday Sep 18, 2009

This is a “I’m a nanna and I’m okay!” post.

Because while I may be binge drinking like a trooper tomorrow, tonight my plan is to have a quiet night at home. The plan involves sprawling out on my new rug (it’s lovely and I’m completely unabashed to say it matches Poppy bee-yoo-tifully) (And no, I didn’t actually plan it to turn out like that.) (I’ll take a photo and put it on twitter.)

I will be finishing the last Twilight book and I am about ready to burst to find out what happens. I will have banana bread for dinner (which I got for free at my favourite cafe), I will toast it and put some butter on it.

Then I will cry once I’ve finished the book (I will cry when it’s finished, guaranteed, even if it’s not sad, it’s my little mourning period for finishing good books) and then I’ll potter around, watch a documentary and then head to bed and it’s going to be awesome.

I know, the excitement is overwhelming.

(But I am actually looking forward to it. Hope everyone has a great weekend.)

tradition and costumes and stuff

Wednesday Sep 16, 2009

I really shouldn’t have a twitter account, I am far too boring and predictable to update consistently with new and exciting things I do.

 Most day time updates are “I’m at work, it’s busy.” And most night time updates are “Cops is on, I’m in my tracksuit pants.”

 These do not maketh interesting reading.

 In other news my cousin is having her 30th birthday next weekend. Because she hates me she’s made it a themed costume party, where you come dressed as what you wanted to be when you grew up. WWHHHYYYY?! Surely we are too old for this shit.

 Especially considering that I wanted to be either a Physical Education (PE) school teacher (totally laughable now) or the prime minister. Or Rainbow Brite. Either way I do not do costumes, I fail so miserably in keeping my dignity intact on a normal day that dressing in costume would instantly destroy any remaining dignity I may be clinging to.

 This Saturday is an annual tradition within my group of friends. Essentially it’s our local pubs birthday and to celebrate they open at 8:00 a.m. and have celebrations and stuff. Now because we are loyal and half of us are borderline lushes this all day drinking thing has become an annual shindig/endurance contest.

 The girls are much more clever about it, we don’t arrive until early afternoon, the boys get there at 8 a.m. have the breakfast provided and start with the beers. It’s messy and awesome and tradition and I like being able to be home, drunk by 8:00 p.m. with a packet of honey baked ham Kettle chips.

 Last year one of the girls was cut off by the bar staff within an hour of arriving, and fell off the table while dancing on top of it. Last year DJ punched one of his best friends in the face because he was trying to get DJ to nap for a couple of hours because he was terribly hammered. The year before that one of our mildest mannered guy friends disappeared into the bathrooms with 2 Swedish backpackers for an hour.

Plus, 3 years ago DJ and Beth had their “first date” there, and she made me go along as support. While they spent the day making out in a corner (we are classy people) DJ’s friends looked after me and made me feel welcome and I made a lot of good friends from this drunken annual tradition.

 As of today all of my immediate family is in Western Australian, Mum and Dad live there (separately obvs) and my sister is being the good daughter for once and visiting Mum. To this I say, fuck you WA, give me my family back!


 I also discovered this baby photo of me and it’s possible that I am the fattest child in all of Australia, possibly the world. Also, the one and only time I had/will have blond hair.

3 quick things

Monday Sep 14, 2009

1. You people are wonderful. The comments about Lily were lovely and comforting and I really want to thank each and everyone of you who wrote something because it meant something to me.

2. I don’t think that the banana I ate with my cereal this morning was completely ripe. Now my tummy hurts and is making some very awkward noises that people sitting next to me can hear. Awkward. I need someone to come and rub my tummy until it feels better.

3. I bought new work shoes on Saturday. Although cute and peep toe’s they were obviously made by Satan’s minions because I am in horrendous pain with my blisters upon blisters on my heels. Fuck you Wittners, I pay you nearly $150.00 for shoes and you make me bleed? Asshole.

sad stuff

Friday Sep 11, 2009

Well, well, well.

 It appears that my ongoing fight with the universe is not going well, as this week has well and truly gone to shit. Let’s do this via bullet point because it is easier and I am lazy.

  1.  1. For my job I work in IT, I try not to discuss work too much but in essence if you have any type of audio communications (i.e. mobiles, fixed, PBX’s) I look after that stuff. I also do a lot of reporting for this since anyone who’s received a big mobile bill knows you need to monitor that shit. So this week I have been doing nothing but collating data and costs and reporting on it for my big boss. I have been writing this report and working with Excel for minimum 9 hours each day and I fucking hate this report already. I don’t even care if it’s good or not, I just want it to go away. I’m dreaming about dollars and VLookUp and my head hurts. Oh and Mel is away sick so I’m busy as it is. Work blows this week.


  1. Dad left for WA on Wednesday, he’s half way there and I fucking hate it. He calls every night (I made him do it since he’s driving by himself) and we talk but I hate the fact he lives over there now.


  1. And the worst news of the week? Lily was driving over with Dad since he wanted her to come with him but didn’t trust her to fly, and she was killed yesterday and it makes me feel like a sad sack but I bawled my eyes out when Dad called to tell me last night. She was loving the driving and spent most of the time curled up sleeping in the back or in Dad’s lap looking out the window. She jumped out of the window, and even though she is awesomely defiant you can’t win a battle with the road at 120 km’s. Dad cried, he feels terrible. I’m sad because as much as that fat ball of fuzz annoyed me she was my first pet of my own and lived with me when I first moved to Sydney. Even if she pooped in all of my plants and killed them and weed in my shower, and nearly ate me out of house of home and weighed 50 bajillion kilos and shed like a bastard I loved her. And it’s so fucking typical of her to die doing something stupid.


It’s been a bad week. I’m going to breakfast and then shopping with Beth tomorrow. I plan to eat and shop my sad feelings away. It is a good plan since I am a chubby girl who loves her food, and a shallow girl who gets happy from buying new shiny things.

 Hope you all have great weekend’s.

boring update and fathers day and stuff

Monday Sep 7, 2009

Tired, tired, tired today.

Not sure why, it was a relatively quiet weekend but I got a lot done. I spent most of Saturday cooking for the picnic on Sunday for Father’s Day. I made mini spinach and fetta quiches, mini chicken and leek pies and because apparently I hadn’t prepared enough fattening food I made chicken schnitzel.

The weather was lovely on Sunday as well so we ended up going to Centennial Park and hanging out in the park for the day. Nice day. Except for when Dad dropped me home and said goodbye and I cried.

I hate this shit but I seem to be getting better at it. When Mum move moved interstate it was not a good time generally and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Now with Dad? I’m just sad.

Things that have cheered me up though are the teeny pies I made, they were delicious. And finally watching the third season of Dexter. And possibly getting to make out with a boy this weekend.

Oh, and I bought this new rug for my apartment, I like it a lot and I cannot wait for it to be delivered. All I have to do now is train Poppy to only shed white hair on the white bits and her black fur on the black bits.

The likelihood of failure for this is high but I remain optimistic.

This is a boring update, so I’m going to leave it now before it gets any worse.

spontaneity fail, brouhaha and stuff

Friday Sep 4, 2009

I can’t believe it’s Friday already, this week has been busy at work. Way busy. With meetings with important scary people at work who earn 5 times what I do and just generally scare the bejesus out of me. And make me do a lot of work.

 So yes, there’s been working and sleeping and that’s about it.

 Last week I was talking with Adam about being impulsive and how I always wanted to be more spontaneous. There’s been two scenarios lately that would’ve been perfect to try out this new spontaneous Lucy.

 Take getting a tattoo. I love the idea of getting a tattoo, having some beautiful piece of art permanently on your body. Where I begin the impulsive=fail is when I start thinking about it.

 See, I start off with the “ooh, what would I choose?”, then I get stuck on a design that I’d be happy with to see on my body forever. And then I start thinking about the commitment involved, and what if I ended up hating it in a few years and then I start getting stressed out. So I drop the idea.

 I can’t do it, I really can’t. I’m a list girl, I like weighing up the pros and cons of a decision. I like looking before I leap and all that jazz. I’ve decided that I’m okay with this.

 So, no tattoo for now.

 We’ve got Fathers Day this Sunday and we’re having a picnic in the Botanic Gardens which sounds lovely. Then a day later Dad drives to the other side of Australia to live. I’m resigned to it, I don’t particularly like it but I want him to be happy and I want it to work out for him. And if that’s going to happen in Western Australia far be it from me to try and stop it because I like hanging out with my Dad more than a couple of times a year. Fucking parents with their goddamned mid life crisis always ENDING WITH MOVING TO WA!

 I have an appointment with my beautician tomorrow and wow I will be so happy to see her. I had to cancel my usual monthly appointment, and since she is insanely busy it’s been nearly 2 months. 2 months people. That officially makes me a wookie.

 Poppy has also officially settled back into being an indoors pet. I knew that she’d take it better than say Lily, who went insane when we moved into an apartment.

 Segue – I got Lily from a shelter when she charmed the pants off me by being all lovely and smoochy. I was sharing an apartment with a girl who later read my diary and then gave me 7 days notice to move out, she also had a cat so Lily was happy with the indoors part because we had a big balcony and she had a sidekick. Then I moved into an apartment that didn’t have a balcony and she was on her own. In addition to pooping in my plants she always stopped walking on the ground. Just didn’t like it. So if she needed to go from the bedroom to the kitchen where her food was, she’d jump from the bed to the bedside table, to the fireplace mantle, to the lounge, to the dining table, to the dining chair, then to the kitchen bench. Just no longer let her feet touch the floor.

 Hence why she lives with Dad now.

 Anyway, yes, Poppy is doing good. Because she’s still quite young she tears around the house and plays ninja commando with me where she hides in things and jumps out at me when I walk past to scratch me and draw blood. She hangs out on the balcony and naps in the sunny spots and sleeps in the sink and also loves the laundry nook. I’d love to be able to let her outside or to have another one but the area I live is too central and busy and the apartment is too small for two. So far though it’s going well.


poppy laundry

 Something that I wasn’t going to write because it is so ridiculously overblown that I don’t even know why people are reacting to it. The normal sized girl in a magazine who has a little belly in a national UK magazine. Cute girl, good body little belly that I love. I’m just not sure why it’s such a big deal.

 I am surprised by the amount of negative response about it. Which I find funny when apparently people are demanding the fashion and beauty industry depict more normal looking women. Suddenly you get a normal woman who is not perfect (yet still gorgeous) and people are disgusted by it. Eh, I like seeing women with normal bodies, because colour me stunned! they look like me. And I’m a little disappointed that some of the worst comments are made by women, I mean fuck, help a sister out and not pick her to pieces because you have your own body images that you need to work on.

 It’s just tiring and I don’t understand what the problem is with an image of a body that looks more like mine than the usual airbrushed model. Stomach, breasts and all.

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