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if you like pina coladas….

Friday Feb 29, 2008

I have this awaiting me so this will be the last post for a couple of weeks. I am off to a tropical island where I will sun a lot (it was 29 degrees there today, or 84 F) and nap a lot, and spend a lot of time drunkenly dog paddling around the pool bar trying to keep my pina colada above water.

And if that’s not the image to leave you with then I don’t know what is.

And because I love you all I’ll probably be uploading photos to my Flickr page over the next two weeks. And because you’re all the chosen passworded people you’ll get to see my friends faces for once.

Anyway be good, take care and I’ll see you when I get back.

(FYI: My 3 month vow finishes on Monday. Watch out Fiji)


Wednesday Feb 27, 2008

Things to remember –

Do not leave your hair curly because you couldn’t be bothered straightening your hair, especially when the weather is windy and rainy.

Result = I have Sideshow Bob hair.

If you have a waxing appointment on the weekend, ready to de-fuzz yourself for your holiday, wear trousers rather than a skirt. You may be a quasi feminist but people don’t need to see spiky legs.

Result = Let’s not even go there.

George has been in a ‘playful’ mood lately, and by playful I mean not sleeping at night and clawing me to death and doing commando style leaps to my head while I’m sleeping. Although I love the idea of having a curled up kitten sleeping next to me, it ain’t going to happen and I need some sleep. So tonight he’s getting a new bed in the living room where he can pounce and play and claw things that aren’t my sleeping self.

He is delightful though, I’m very very glad I decided to get him.

I have a double header of bad food today, lunch with the IT kids at the pub (mmmm, pub food) and then meeting Mr Paul for schnitzel and beer after work (mmm schnitzel.)

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Actually I’m back now and even though I had nachos I am in the middle of a fiercesome carb coma, and also out of 10 or so people from work I was the only one who was drinking beer. Is this weird? Is beer drinking only prevalent amongst my low class friends?

(They’re not low class, they’re just special)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

My arch nemesis at work is seriously starting to fuck me right off. I heard from another person today that she’s been bitching about a project of mine. Complaining that it’s crap, but giving me no spec’s or details that she wants. Damn those psychic abilities of mine not working. If I hear one more instance of her bitching about my work we’re going to have a meeting to discuss stuff because frankly it’s unprofessional. And highly irritating. I mean really, lodge a proper complaint with the boss if my work is that shit. But bad mouthing me or my work to other people who always tell me about it is just pointless, except for giving me the shits.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I’ve discovered that the anti-depressants I’ve been taking are causing weight gain. On my arse. And it pains me that I am torn between dieting for the last month (and eating really well, and sticking to it) and losing no weight. But being happier and more content with things. But putting on weight makes me unhappy too.

Seriously, I can either be chubby or happy. That is cruel.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Anyway I have to go and plot someone’s downfall at work, as well as try and make my day stay down.

massive man pants

Sunday Feb 24, 2008

So George is delicious and I want to eat him. He is so teeny, look at him! My head is HUGE in comparison.

I also don’t think I’ve ever had a kitten before because wow did I not realise they be high maintenance. If he’s not chewing on my necklace or nuzzling my ears (trying to get milk?) or scratching me in the middle of the night, he’s sitting in the kitchen looking up at me and mewing for something that I do not know what. But wow, lovely lovely lovely.

Lily on the other hand? Not so happy. She’s sulking, and by sulking I mean hissing everytime she senses him in the same room as her. And sleeping outside because God! Do I have to be in the same room as him?

She is going through kitty puberty with the angst and emo’s.

But she also is huge in comparison to him, here she is wishing death on him last night and she wonders why he just sits there in amazement and does not fight back with her. Because Lily could eat him and not even notice.

(Lily on left obvs)

I went shopping on Saturday morning to get holiday stuff, apparently faded and holy band t-shirts from the mid 90’s are probably not acceptable sleep wear when you’re sharing a room. Apparently. So I bought some back up jama’s which are my old stand by – singlets and mens underwear. Men’s underwear is seriously comfortable to sleep in, normally it’s those Bonds comfy undies but I had a hankering for y-fronts (yes, what of it?.) Now I’m not down with men’s sizing. Mainly because I have breasts and don’t need them so when they mentioned a measurement for figuring out which size you are I assumed it was hip measurements. Because you wear the underwear on the hips right? I have hips, decent size hips. So when I got home and put them on after my shower I discovered my mistake – the measurements were waist measurements (who seriously wears their underwear up to the waist? Seriously?) and I had bought “Massive Man Pants.”

Because I am here for you here’s a photo. Because you couldn’t see the general vast-ness of the MMP’s I put my phone there for scale, although it’s a flip phone (N76) it’s still a pretty decent size.




Lesson learnt? Only men who wear their underpants uncomfortably high wear Y-fronts.

(Also Y-fronts that are miles too big are way comfortable if you can get past the crotch that is almost to the knees)


Thursday Feb 21, 2008


I totally just bought Morris Iemma on Facebook.

I wonder if that means I get to run the state by proxy now then?

Also I officially just adopted George, and will get him tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.


Wednesday Feb 20, 2008
Two quick things –

I’m wearing my hair curly today for the first time at this job. My boss has messy hair as well and wanted to see what it looked like natural, so far all I’ve had are “Looks lovely, you should wear it like that more often” – boss and two comments from the boys one asking why I’d curled my hair, the other making an explosion noise while pointing at my hair (yes, my hair is big.)

Let’s put it down not as a success but not as a resounding failure. Plus it didn’t take me ¾ of an hour to straight so that’s a positive.

I also got offered a kitten by a friend of mine.

Now, I’ve had Lily for a couple of weeks and I’m surprised that I’ve enjoyed having an animal around.

However I work long hours, and cats are a lot of responsibility. And let’s face it, I’m single and I live alone, do I really want to be crazy cat lady?

But he is absolutely gorgeous and I want to eat him and it’s only in the last couple of years that I haven’t had one.

I have to let my friend know in a couple of days, so any comments?


Tuesday Feb 19, 2008

I have far too much sugar and caffeine today to be healthy, in fact I believe I’m having small heart palpitations.

But I am typing very quickly so that’s a bonus. Today I had a small slice of goopy chocolate mousse cake, a small chocolate brownie and then a piece of pecan pie. So much sugar and dairy and stuff after days of crappy high protein low fat is like feeding concentrated red cordial to a 5 year old – explosive and dangerous.

I am feeling surprisingly good about the deleting the ex-dude on Facebook, so far all there is is a little twinge when I check my account and realise I can’t see him. But quickly forgotten. So far so good.

There has been so much bloody drama this week (with everyone else, luckily) people breaking up with people, people getting new jobs, revelations and fuck ups. It’s been great (and I mean great in that mostly what I’ve done this week is work, have lunch with FacebookBoy and talk to Lily. Lily is the cat. So far her conversation skills are woeful.

Fiji is 2 weeks away and I am very excited and planning the preparation , i.e. the waxing and the manicures/pedicures and buying stuff to take like alcohol, panadol and cigarettes.

I’m nearing the end of the three month thingy. I just wrote something about how I’m going to celebrate the end of it but I think everyone knows the best way of ending a celibacy vow don’t you? But I’m not sure if I’m ready or even want to get back in the saddle (let’s pretend that metaphor is slightly classier shall we?) yet. Plus I fly to Fiji the day I end it so maybe I’ll find a gorgeous cabana boy to make out with while I’m over there.

That could be cool because he could also make me pina coladas. Best plan EVAH!


Sunday Feb 17, 2008

So today is a bit of a big day. And please remember big is completely relative, I thought yesterday was big because I left the house to buy milk and the newspapers.

Today I‘m having lunch with Facebook boy, and I’m going to delete M from my Facebook friend list.

The deleting M thing almost makes me frantic, I met him via his blog and over the 4 years we’ve been doing our thing I always had access to his life through his blog, and then MySpace and now Facebook. And I don’t want access anymore. I hate knowing what he’s doing and who he’s chatting with and what he looks like.

And once I un-Friend him it’s for good. Since I’ve deleted his number it’s the last point of contact I’ll be severing. So that’s happening this afternoon and just quietly I predict tonight will involve a bottle of wine and crying.

I also have lunch with HighschoolBoy today (that will be his new nickname for now) which is exciting but I kinda feel ill. It’s mainly because catching up with someone I haven’t seen in 10 years? What if he got boring? What if he’s turned into a prat? And I wonder if he’ll mind yum cha for lunch because damn I have a craving for it.

Anyway I have to go and do some work and stuff….Wish me luck for today for both things k?

Update – Lunch went well. He is as delightful as ever and it was exactly the same. He’s a little bit shaggier (hair-wise), and has the tiniest of tiny lines when he smiles. I am very glad I went and we’ll be catching up again soon. The girlfriend was discussed and he loves her and it is good.

I also deleted Mark (fuck it, you get his real name) from Facebook. I’ll admit to saving a photo before I did this but I now no longer get to see him, and his life and face. This is a good thing.

It’s just hard.


Sunday Feb 17, 2008

Right, did I write about the Valentine’s day (non) date?

I think I did, and I’m too lazy to open up a page to check. But last night I went out with the bearded boy from work.

We went to a great new cocktail place in Newtown, and then the pub for beer. And my sister came.

See anything wrong with the above sentences? Yes? Me too!

She had a crisis and needed to vent and then did the, “oh, no, that’s okay. I’ll just stay at home” thing and completely guilt tripped me.

Until we were heading to the second bar and I hissed at her “Go home!”

Still, (sadly) no love.

In other exciting news I had yum cha for lunch yesterday, I’m meeting with Facebook boy for lunch on Monday, this diet I’m on is boring but pleasantly satisfying, I bought a new dress, I got teary yesterday watching the apology and felt very bloody proud of Australian’s government for the first time in a very long time, I plan to chill out a lot this weekend.

Oh, oh! And I have an arch nemesis at work and I totally won round I.

I may pay for winning the first round with my life and sanity but damn it may be worth it.

I would tell all of the details but alas there’s that pesky work/blog thingy. But rest assured I was triumphant.

I am also sick of being poor to pay for this bloody holiday of mine. I know it will be worth it, ditto the diet, (I must confess I’m doing the diet so I can essentially eat and drink anything Ii feel like for 2 weeks and not worry about it) but bloody hell is it not March yet?

ginge part II

Tuesday Feb 12, 2008

Right. Facebook boy and the ginge.

(Also, Kass made a great point in her comment. I love red and auburn hair, I want to marry her colour hair. I do not like ginge’s with her carroty colour hair and invisible eyebrows. Makes me feel nauseous.)

I’m catching up with him on Monday, he still is the same as ever. I.e. delightful and odd. Just my kind. His girlfriend though is overseas, whether she lives over there now or is travelling I suppose I’ll find out next week. The fact that I’m thinking of her being on the other side of the world as an open is an awful thing that will fuck my karma up considerably.

I’ve also got plans tomorrow night with the gorgeous bearded boy from work. It’s all very colleague-y and above board at the moment. And because my karma is still recovering from the above paragraph I won’t write about getting him drunk and trying to take advantage.


Work is busy, blah, blah blah.

The cat is fine, she sleeps next to me and has stopped giving me death stares but I believe she’s still plotting my death while I sleep. Because I’m asleep and outweigh her by like 50 bajillion times I think I can handle it if she tries to smother me.

I officially have a work arch nemesis again. It’s quite odd as I’ve never had a female nemesis before but wow is this one a major pain in the arse. I will win this battle and war. If not I will have a lot of fun trying.

The de-fatify plan for Fiji is coming along nicely. And by nicely I mean I’m fucking starving. But as I was explaining to Adam, if I can lose a couple of kilos before I head on holidays, then I won’t worry about putting on any weight while I’m away because I’ll be no worse off. Welcome to my mind.

Yes, it is a scary place.

stuff part 569678

Sunday Feb 10, 2008

You know what?

I am not having fun today. I have a headache, work is busy, and I have to go home to TAKE CARE OF MY CAT!

More on the cat later.

I slept in til 10 minutes before I was due to leave this morning, you know how I keep the time on my alarm clock set like half an hour fast so when it goes off at 5:30 it lies and tells me it’s 6:00?

Well, I changed alarm clocks and forgot about setting the time differently. So you know, when I woke up this morning and see 5:30 I snoozed until 6:00 o’clock. But I did get dressed, do my hair, put make up on and get my shit together to leave the house 7 minutes later. I think I forgot to put mascara on one eye and breakfast but 7 minutes means I’m pretty much half god.

So yeah, I have a cat at home. My Dad called me Saturday morning saying, “Hello! I’m at your house with Lily and you’re not here and I fly out in a couple of hours.” Turns out my Dad’s going on holidays, forgot to remind me and now I’m cat sitting for my old cat Lily. My Dad does not care for things such as details and notice.

Lily is the spawn of Satan’s cat. Well, she was when she lived with me. She also went slightly mad by being an inside cat, and uh…..stopped walking on the floor.

For real. If she had to get from the kitchen to my bed she’d jump on the kitchen counter to the dining table, to the dining chair to the hallway table, to my beside table to my bed. All without touching the floor. She’d also lie on top of door jambs and would just kind hang there.

Like I said, she was odd.

But now she curls up on my lap when I’m watching TV and curls up and sleeps next to me in bed. I’m sure she’s plotting my death while I sleep but at least she looks cute and allows you to touch her now. Baby steps people.

I had another lazy weekend, caught up with the sister and Dad, went shopping, yada yada. It was nice.

I friended the Facebook boy, he wrote back and the message exchanging has started. He is still delightful and I will let you know if he’s married/religious/gay or all of the above.

Update – DAMMIT! He’s in a relationship. Stupid Facebook.

Update II – Ewww, he’s dating a ginge (I like red haired, but like auburn/dark red, it’s the ginge and freckles that kinda squick me out)

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