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the other other white meat

Thursday Nov 29, 2007

A guy I work with was broken up with by his girlfriend via text message.

Via text message

What a wench.

I don’t understand that, I mean surely there’s more cowardly but still decent enough ways of ending a relationship (phone call) but in an SMS in fewer than 140 characters? That’s cold.

I’ve been sharing my apartment on and off for the past month with my sister. She and her boyfriend are taking a break and we get to move her on Sunday to her new apartment. I am the master mover, practice makes perfect and all (in fact I’ve been in my current apartment longer than pretty much anywhere since I was about 5 – 2.5 years.) The fact that she won’t be moving anything heavy heavy will be pretty much awesome. I am soft and while I have (small) muscles in my legs with all the walking I do (not driving has its good points) I have no upper body strength. And when I say no strength I’m only slightly exaggerating. Opening jars are hit and miss and I’ve been known to change what I’ve been cooking because I couldn’t open the pasta sauce or garlic.

So the idea of not having to move, say a fridge, means Sunday is not going to be so bad. And she doesn’t realise that she’ll have to buy me a beer when we finish (You hear that Sabine?)

And I know I’ve said this before but I really need to plan my wardrobe better or mainly just when I wear this particular tulip skirt in windy weather. Because today is windy, and today I am wearing a skirt and this is a very very bad thing.

I’ve had a great couple of meetings this afternoon; I avoid meetings like the plague. I avoid work functions like the plague and will do anything I can, and lie as much as possible, to get our of “networking opportunities” (read: boring meeting type functions where there is food, but you should not eat it, or alcohol, but you should not drink, and where you must talk with work colleagues or clients – BUT YOU DO NOT GET PAID)

Plus I’m heading out to dinner with Beth and another friend tonight, I think it’s the first time I’ve been out out in a good few weeks. Maybe the hermitude is fading a bit or the drugs have kicked in, who knows.

And I’ve enjoying the hell out of working with females again. In fact the girl who sits in the next cubicle to me and works on the IT projects with me is my age and is awesome. It’s been years since I worked with girls my own age and I forgot how nice it is.

Anyway kids I’m out to have dinner and drinks, hope you have a great weekend.

special pork

Tuesday Nov 27, 2007
Things keeping me happy lately –

– Being able to pick flowers from my garden (and by “my garden” I mean the gardens of people living close to me or from the gardens of my apartment block -picked under the safe cover of darkness of course)

– Hearing a story of one of the managers at the company I work for who pissed off one of the IT techs. When this manager wanted a network diagram later on the tech sent them a network diagram done by hand in MS paint. I saw the original diagram and I laughed so hard I cried. (IT humour) (Also don’t piss off Support techs. Memory of an elephant, kids, and will carry a grudge forever)

– And the Special Pork dish at a local Chinese restaurant near work.

Things that have been fucking me right off –

– This rain and this goddamn weather Sydney has been having. Also missing my train this morning by 15 seconds and as result missing my connecting train. I don’t do late, and I especially don’t like being late in the morning.

– Having a doctors appointment this afternoon to not only get the horrific girl PS thing, but also do an STD test (not for any reason, it just feels like an adult thing to do.) It’s like driving and having a policeman behind you, even though you’ve been careful and followed the rules what if someone stole your car last night and did something bad and you’re in big trouble) (Also worst analogy ever but you get the gist right?)

– Having my own mother laugh at me for my New Years plans (which right now involve pyjama’s, baking and dying my hair – don’t judge me). My own mother? The same woman who gave me a name that is shared with certain holidays, who then calls me up each holiday to ask me what day it is and then laughs. My parents are horrifically cruel and thoroughly deserve my pain in the arse teasing that I now inflict on them.

That’s karma folks.

– Feeling horrendously overwhelmed and underqualified for the job I’m doing. Like really thinking they’re paying me far too much for the quality of work I’m producing. And this has not been appeased by passing the 3 month probation period and being made permanent yesterday. Because logic has no place in this here bullet point.

– And at the moment updating this place. I imagine this should pass at some point.

– I’m feeling really disconnected from people generally, mainly friends, and I’m not quite sure why. I just don’t have the energy to go out and socialise, a lot of my friends are noisy and exhausting and I just don’t have the stamina for it. I have to suppress the urge to loudly shush them with a “Inside voice, kids, use your inside voice.”

All up though it’s not too bad

the shame

Monday Nov 19, 2007

I just had a very, very uncomfortable moment with my new boss.

He noticed a big bruise I have on my upper arm and asked about it, I blushed and stammered something about netball and how it’s supposed to be a non-contact sport, heh heh……..

He did not sound or look convinced and I sounded (and looked) like a battered wife.

I thought the short sleeved cardigan hid it.

But the thing is is that it’s a hickey (oh dear god the shame) and I can’t tell him that without looking like a dirty 16 year whore who actually gets hickeys.

Not a good start to this morning.


Sunday Nov 18, 2007

Today has been boring, I have work to do, I got enough sleep last night, I just had two days off work, I had beer on Saturday night, a sleepover Saturday night (that did not end well but that’s another story) I’m wearing a reasonably cute outfit, I’m wearing the new peep toe heels and my feet aren’t bleeding so that’s another good thing, I had salad for lunch (good but boring) my phone’s been ringing all day even though I don’t want to speak to anyone but work is not horrendously busy or foul, my hair is soft and doing what it’s told, I’m not PMS’ and I get the house to myself for another night.

These are all good things.

Yet, meh.

I think that I’m going to head off for work like now, and go home, cook dinner, watch some TV, go to bed and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Surely that’s a solid plan.

Ooh, and listen to some Killers. And maybe have a nice cup of coffee when I get home (for some reason days that I get home early enough to drink a cup of coffee fill me with insane glee).

Yeah, that’ll do it.

Meh, can’t win them all.

(Also I think there may be a guy friend of Beth’s tattooed loser boyfriend (yes, she is back with him. Don’t ask) who is normal and wears glasses, and may be kind of cool and Beth wants me to meet him. He’s a nerd too! )


Thursday Nov 15, 2007

Man this week just flew by. And by flew by I mean drained my will to live and update.

Actually it hasn’t been too bad, my sister has been staying at my apartment this week which has been…..interesting. We were the sisters who fought (literally at times) cats and dogs when we were younger (read: up until a few years ago), we’ve mellowed a bit (and by mellowed Sabine has finally accepted the fact that I can kick her arse) and it’s actually been nice to have company at home when I come home from work and someone to watch reality TV shows with and bag the contestants.

Although I did find out that while I haven’t been snoring I have had a case of the jimmy leg and turns out I can be dangerous in my sleep if you get too close.

Work has been busy and being back on this stupid Lite n Easy has left me feeling virtuous and all of that, but really I’m just hungry.

I still can’t get over how bloody fantastic The Killers were, if you have a chance to see them do it. Do it now.

I have about a billion crushes on men at the moment. The boy I work with who has the beard, the other bearded man I used to work with, an account manager of ours at work (do not know if he has a beard), my friends brother who is taking me dress shopping (and isn’t gay!) and the guys who make me coffee each morning.

I cannot stop buying shirt dresses and coloured cardigans. I’m going shopping tomorrow in chinatown and the markets to buy a few pairs of cheap cute ballet slippers and I cannot stop cutting and dying my hair.

I am also going to drink a lot starting soon, it’s warm at night, the jasmine is growing and I mean what else do you do on a summer’s night?

As you can tell I’m very into spring right about now. Go team spring!


Sunday Nov 11, 2007
My head hurts.

Why I think that mixing vodka’s with beer is ever a good idea I do not know. I also got to share my bed with my sister last night too, so it’s good times all around.

But. The Killers. I can say with no hyperbole whatsoever that was one of the best gigs I’ve ever been to. Brandon Flowers is possibly the most beautiful, sexiest man I’ve seen and I want to have his Mormon babies.

Seriously awesome.

Plus, look how many people!

I called SleepoverBoy just to see if I could find someone in the crowd. Result – couldn’t.

And for what it’s worth I wore a dress and I looked horrendously cute (for the dress go here, turn the page 3 times and it’s the grey dress in the top left hand corner – cute). Although in an emo-esque way as I had an…..ahem…. incident with my hair on Saturday. Turns out when a hair colour is described as darkest brown they really mean black. So I have emo hair at the moment which generally is not too bad, except for today where it is very sunshiney and bright and I am pale and sickly looking, and well, I look kinda dead. So that’s not really a positive.


My head really, really hurts and I would really like a bacon and egg roll but think it may make me ill.

Decisions, decisions.


Thursday Nov 8, 2007

First of all I have to apologise in advance to Blogger and any males about to read this for the utter asinine content and general shallow-ness (?) of this post.

I know not what I do.

So, I’m going to see The Killers on Sunday night and I, for once, have no idea what to wear.

Do I –

Wear the standard jeans, lame rock t-shirt and converse’s?
Or go the girly route and wear the new dress I bought, with those lame footless tights (that I have refused, up until now, to ever buy or wear on principle)?

Keep in mind I am old and weary and will sitting in the seated section so there is no chance of being groped in the floor section (pity) so can wear a dress, will be drinking a lot of beer and may bump into SleepoverBoy in public for one the first time so I have to look relatively cute.

If you choose not to give me advice I understand completely (but will be secretly hurt that you’ve forsaken me in a time of need)

wedges and beer

Wednesday Nov 7, 2007

Right now I am –

– Tired
– Hungover
– Dressed like a 50 year old post-menopausal woman.
– Cranky because it’s cold and windy.
– So very looking forward to leaving work like nowish.

I went out drinking last night, when you drink with borderline alcoholics this never ends well. I had two potato wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce and 6 beers for dinner (trust me when I say I am little and cannot hold my alcohol so this is about 4 too many for me) stumbled home, sent some no doubt sexy messages to Sleepover Boy and passed out. Surprisingly enough I had a lot of sleep so felt okay this morning.

BeardedGuy was there. I’m a little stuck there, how do you go from arch nemesis’ (nemesises? nemisi?) to spoon buddies? Apparently very very slowly.

I’m going to see The Killers this weekend, I’m slightly excited although why it has to be on a school night I do not know.

I’m going home to bask in my comfort clothing and watch some TV. It’s going to be sweet.

horses and hair and stuff

Monday Nov 5, 2007

Score, so far there have been 3 comments on the hair.

1 from the Sleepover boy – good (Your hair looks great, want to wrestle?) (Actually that’s a lie, I suggested the wrestling)
1 from my boss – Good (Your hair’s different. Good)
1 from the receptionist – Good (Looks like Katie Holmes)

The Katie Holmes is the score, generally when you’re lame enough to ask the hairdresser to cut your hair like a celebrity (especially when she’s married to Mr Non Anti Depressant himself Tom Cruise) the chances of it looking like their hair afterwards is quite low so that’s good.

(We’ll ignore the fact the receptionist was wearing glasses at the time and that I look nothing like Katie Holmes for the sake of the story okay?)

I had a great weekend, breakfast with my Dad (he drives nearly 2 hours each way to hang out – makes a daughter feel special), lunch and haircuts with Beth (I want to marry my new hairdresser) and then a lazy lazy Sunday.

I am counting down the days until my holiday in March next year. 2 weeks here. I can’t express how much I want this holiday.

Apparently there’s a big horse race on in the next couple of minutes, there’s a big do thing in the boardroom here and I’ve been running back to me desk every time my manager is looking the other way. I mean social occasions are the only time you can’t get out of them by saying, “But I have work to do!” It’s really quite annoying, I mean look, if Phar Lap was racing or I was actually at the race track watching it in a frock and hat then sure, but at work? Socialising with people I work with?

It gives me hives.

burn baby burn

Thursday Nov 1, 2007

I burnt myself the other night while ironing. I learnt two things –

– Ironing is bad because look what happens when you do.
– Iron burn marks on your wrist make you look like you’re suicidal, or worse a cutter.

I’ve fended off a few too many sympathetic looks this week. So rest assured, Lucy+Emo Cutter=No.

I’m going for a haircut this weekend with Beth, she agrees with me that I need either advice beforehand at the least, or even better, someone monitoring the next time someone goes to my hair with scissors. Because I’ve officially given up on curly hair for this summer (do you know how hot thick curly hair is during summer? Its awful. It frizzes and it’s gets stuck to your face and it is just not a good idea in the heat)

I’ll post a photo, depending on whether the Carol Brady haircut from hell is banished completely (I had a mullet y’all!)

I called the *TallGuy last night, he’s recently resigned from the company I used to work for and doesn’t have a new job to go to and I’m jealous as all hell. If I didn’t have the rent and the bills and the Foxtel and the shopping to enjoy I’d be doing it. I’m amazed by how quickly my friends and I have become burnt out by work, Adam recently had an emergency room visit because of stress, Beth and the other political kids regularly do 70+ hour weeks and well, you read here and know my thoughts on working. And we’re all in our mid to late 20’s. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

I mean I’m sorry but the work/life balance thing is bullshit. Even if you do the mythical 9-5 you’re still working more than you are sleeping. You either have a social life and work life suffers (actually going out on school nights) or you work your arse off and save up the socialising for the weekend (or spend your weekends recovering from your week). Or is it just me being really crap at balance?

Also the Maxi dress experiment where I thought I’d found my uniform of the summer? Was a resounding failure. Unless you get to rock the cardigan with it there’s just too much for a chubby girl to pull off and look cute. As Lozo so delightfully pointed out recently – a good rack does not make a girl/an outfit attractive.

I actually bought a thoughtful gift yesterday. Normally gift buying comes down to – go shopping the day before with a vague idea of what I should buy, choose the gift most close to these parameters. But I was speaking with my grandma the other night and she was talking about the war (seriously, if you ever meet my grandma use the Fawlty Towers maxim and don’t mention the war. It just sets off a conversation which will stretch to a full dish washing stretch before she winds down). Anyway she mentioned a book she’d lent to someone and had never gotten it back, mentioning she’d love to have it back. Noted down the author, hit and bam – thoughtful gift!

So I found out my sister reads this site. She’s older than me and I’m the typical youngest child, brash and loud and pick on her too much. But looks like this site is not too far off my real personality because she mentioned that it’s nothing special as she already knows everything I put here anyway.

So there you go, if you know me in real life this page is boring. But say hi to Sabine** in the comments! And tell her to buy me a Christmas present for once too.

*TallGuy is the guy I’m thinking of asking out because he’s grown a beard recently – colour me shallow? Yes

**All of the Antilogy girls have pseudonyms here, including me.

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