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New Years

Tuesday Oct 30, 2007

I’m thinking of not doing New Years Eve this year. No big night, no party dress, no celebrations beyond staying up until midnight.

I’ve been thinking of doing this for years, but have been persuaded by friends making me come out, or an internal twinge of “Have we really sunk that low into couldn’t-be-arsedness that we’re not even going to celebrate New Years?”

But I think the most I’m going to do is have lunch and drinks with friends and then head home. Just thinking about New Years is exhausting, the whole we must have fun!!! vibe of the night ruins it for me. There are no cabs, my friends are spread out across different places and parties so I don’t get to see everyone I’d like to, everything is triple the cost and I think I’m going to step out.

So – clever or pathetic? Discuss


Monday Oct 29, 2007

See now, this article pleases me immensely. You know how I was complaining the Sleepover Boy isn’t into a beer drinking girl which I thought was an abomination against all laws of Lucy and nature?

Yeah, I knew there was just something wrong with him.

So my horrific haircut of late August is almost ready for a haircut. I was speaking with Meg about getting a bob, ala Katie Holmes, she had one but turns out they cut the back of the way way short, like almost shaved.

I cannot do a shaved head no matter how gorgeous the front looks; I’ve got the body type that doesn’t take much – a bad outfit, a bad haircut – to slide into lesbian territory. And not the gorgeous lipstick lesbian stereotype, more dyke’s on bikes type of thing (there’s a float thing in the Sydney Gay & Lesbian parade for the “Dykes on Bikes” mainly lesbians on motorcycles – and them’s some scary looking females.)

Not pretty, whatsoever.

Because I’ve now insulted a whole section of the female community and the boy who makes out with me I should move on.

I had a dream last night that one of my friends called me fat. I remembered about it this morning and almost raised it with them for being so mean. I should not eat any type of cheese before I go to bed. Or at least start differentiating between dreams and real life a little better.

My new boss called me a sad prat today because I was excited about a new system I’m rolling out on Thursday. I think I love him a little.

I’m going to go and drink beer; I’m still trying to hook Beth into coming. Because otherwise it’s just me drinking on my own. And this is not good.

Daylight savings is awesome, the not getting dark until nearly 8? Love it, love it. It’s still light when I get home and that to me always ends a day well. Plus, it’s good weather for sitting in an outdoor area at a pub having a beer.

Good plan.

milk and the innernet

Thursday Oct 25, 2007

I don’t know about you but on a Friday night after work I try to either drink a lot of beer and stumble home late and make out with the Sleepover Boy, or I like to go straight home, get into tracksuit pants and mung out in front of the TV until I fall asleep watching Antique Roadshow.

I enjoy doing those things, not having to jump on a train for two hours to go visit the paternal unit and Meg the Mormon Housewife. While I love these two dearly I wish they lived closer. Or always came to visit me rather than me having to travek to them. Either one would be nice.

The step mother (or the ex step mother I should say now – yes, there’s back story there but family dysfunction is boring, especially my own families dysfunction) looks like she’s been getting into my Dad’s on line accounts, email and stuff mainly. So tonight I get to hack her out and maybe do some mean stuff to her like sign her up for a lot of dwarf and leprechaun porn when my Dad’s not looking? He doesn’t want any more problems though but I just want to fiercely destroy anyone who fucks with my family.

It should be interesting.

I received my mobile bill last night. As you might know I don’t have internet access at home anymore because I’m affronted that I do not get a laptop and internet with my job (translation: I need to buy a laptop and get a wireless connection but am too lazy and tight to pay for it for myself as I’m not used to it)

What this means is I’ve been checking my email and a few choice blogs on my phone.

$400.00 worth of email and blog apparently.

So now, not only could I have purchased a wireless router, or put a deposit on a laptop for that amount, I now have no router, no laptop and a $400.00 phone bill for looking at my email and an itty bitty screen.

When did bloody internet get so bloody expensive?

Also, did you know that it now costs about $2.50 for a litre of milk? When the fuck did that happen? Keep in mind I’ve been buying milk since I was a kid so I’m not sure why this is a surprise but for some reason I always thought that a litre of milk was $1 and 2 litres was $2.

Must stop being a knob and realise prices have risen since I was 5 and must keep up with the times.

(But it’s like $5.00 for a 3 litre. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? And why are our dairy farmers not filthy rich with those prices?)

Anyway, I’ve got to go and jam in a peak hour train for a couple of hour so have good weekends.

(And I will not be checking emails or comments over the weekend because between milk and the internet I AM BROKE)


Tuesday Oct 23, 2007

With this peachy new job of mine there’s one downside – my daily commute has doubled. When I was working in the city at the last job I’d leave my house 7 a.m. and walking into my office at 7:30 a.m. To me a half an hour door to door commute is ideal.

This job is on the sunny North Shore, and not like a convenient just over the Harbour Bridge North Shore. Like further in meaning my commute is now 2 hours a day. This sucks balls. In theory I justify it with “it’s just more reading time”. But as I’m now going through 5 books a week the buying books and going to the library each week is getting out of control.

Plus because I get Mum lectured by my new female manager if I stay after 5, I’ve started coming into the office earlier and earlier. That way when she walks in at 7:30 I can be all,”No, I just walked in” and she’s happy and does need to know I’ve been in since 7. But if you do the math the 7:00 starts, with the 1 hour commute each way, means I am getting up way too fucking early.

I’ve gotten around this by changing the time on my alarm, so when my alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. I feel happy because 6? She’s not too bad. But deep down the actual time is 5:30 and I can no longer deny this. Because I am tired.

I did sweet f.a all weekend; it was so nice I wanted to kiss it on the mouth. I also got spoon out of the Sleepover Boy which is like getting blood out of a stone, like really, really difficult to do. Like, have been trying to get spoon from him for the last 3 years and nada, bubkus, zip.

I’ve gotten fat recently, well by fat I mean I’ve put on a couple of kilos. And by that I mean I think I have because I don’t own scales. But follow me here. So the liteneasy stuff has started again, and I’ve taken to bring salads to work.

And look, even when you’ve got grilled prawns and marinated chicken breast with the salad? Still salad. Still bland. I’m dreaming about flavour and hot chips and gravy and even sushi. Who dreams about sushi? I mean really, who throws a shoe?

I’m obsessed with my 10 year reunion after Chesty went to hers the other day. Now, keep in mind mine isn’t until next year and I don’t even know if there will be one, but I am completely obsessed. Obsessed. And I don’t even really want to go beyond satisfying some curiousity and didn’t even like most of the people I went to high school with and the ones I did like are still around (Beth and Meg), I have no bad memories about school and had fun yet I’m obsessed with the people and what they’ve been up to.

This perplexes me. And I’m hoping this obsession will actually just fade away because really.

So yeah beard obsessions and 10 year reunion obsessions. Which leads me to the conclusion I must be more tired than I thought or all of this wind has made me so cranky I’m suffering from some weird OCD thing.

Either way, not too bad.


Friday Oct 19, 2007

I am hungover today and I am not happy.

This morning I woke up head pounding and possibly still a little drunk, threw some pants on (luckily, as you’ll soon see why) and stumbled out for coffee and a cigarette. Because Iw as already feeling like shit I’d run out of milk and had my coffee black.

So I’m sitting outside wearing my big flanelette pyjama bottoms, the most threadbare old Foo Fighters t-shirt – holes everywhere and pretty much see through, no bra, hair a mess smoking when my Lite n Easy delivery dude comes to delivery my food for the week. He is, of course, the healthiest looking human being I’ve ever laid eyes on.

First he looked scared (the hair in the morning? Wow) then I’m pretty sure I saw pity in his eyes for the chubby, unfit, smoking girl.

1. Fuck you.
2. Did you bring me milk in your delivery for my coffee? No? Fuck you then.
3. Fuck you.

That pretty much set the tone for today.

But! It was the weekend and I’m staying back at work and I have cancelled all plans for this weekend. I’m tired and over socialising at the moment, I’ve been out most weekends for the past month and I am done. So there is little planned bar shopping, sleeping, reading, eating.

Fun times.

I’m thinking of dating a man I used to work with. He is my arch nemesis and we quarrel constantly, he is also horrendously tall (like I’m 5’3 he’s 6’7), but he’s grown a beard lately and we all know my beard weakness. Obviously I kinda like him but the beard is the deciding factor, probably not the strongest reason to start dating someone though is it? For facial hair?

I think I’m far more bored than I realise.


Tuesday Oct 16, 2007

Things that irritate me/or I irritate other people with –

Adam – We have this ongoing very annoying argument about the phrase ‘it’s a six and half a dozen’. I say ‘it’s a six and two three’s’. He tells me that it’s not right and it should be the six and half a dozen. While I say the phrase itself just backs up the whole argument which is IT’S ALL THE BLOODY SAME!

(I miss having him at work at the moment. I mean who really needs a 6 week holiday from work when I NEED SOMEONE TO GO TO LUNCH WITH!

Sleepover Boy/Friend – He finds it annoying when people say ruin as a single syllable word (roon), romantic without the t (romanic) and papers instead of newspaper. So I tend to say these things to annoy him. Sometimes in the single sentence – it tends not to make much sense but it’s worth it to see the look in his eyes for it.

The wind – I don’t know what it is about wind that makes me so cranky but it’s an irrational hatred for……well just the wind really. It messes up my hair, it blows my skirt around, it makes cigarette breaks annoying and stressful and it just fucks me right off. And yes, it has been a while but thanks for asking.

My friends at the moment – My sister and I went to a dinner/drinks thing at Beth’s on the weekend and it was just drama after drama. There was an argument with someone walking out; there was a possible break up with attempts to make the other person jealous. Look, I do not care. I came for food and alcohol and to catch up with my friends. If you’re in a weird mood don’t come. If you’re sad and down don’t come. If you’re pissed about something stay at home. I mean don’t subject other people to your shit if you’re going to ruin it for other people, do what you’re supposed to do and stay at home and get drunk and miserable on your own.

Dieting – I’ve put on a couple of kilos so I had a nice healthy low calorie dinner last night before making a batch of cookies and eating half of them. Kids, this is the way not to lose weight.

Things that don’t irritate me include finally being able to get a new mobile phone when my contract finally ran out (hello lovely), cancelling all plans for this weekend so I can have a moochy weekend (after a couple of months of heading out both weekend nights I’m having a tantrum and putting my foot down) finally feeling like I’m being effective at work rather than just you know being a stressed out eye twitchy kitten.

I found out that my old manager has resigned so I’m having dinner and drinks with the old work kids to find out the gossip. I like to gossip and bitch about people far more than I’d like to admit. But considering he won’t be doing any of this crap anymore to any of the guys I used to work with then I’m going to relish every minute of it.

And probably drink too much on a school night.

Good times.

no finance!

Friday Oct 12, 2007

So, will power didn’t work out too well for me. Turns out bronchitis is stronger than my sheer stubbornness.

You learn something new everyday.

Luckily I’m on the mend, and though I still sound like a man and now have a chapped nose from all the nose blowing (hot!) I feel much better.

This week work wise has been great, no near tear moments and considering I should be evil and weepy at about this time of the month this is a sheer miracle. Although this week has involved far too much financial coding stuff. I don’t know how many more conversations I have to have where I go, “I’m an IT specialist. IT! No finance!”. If you’ve been reading here for any length of time you’ll know that working with numbers and figures makes my head hurt and fucks me right off.

I’m already regretting the signing up for mixed netball. But Beth has promised that we’re allowed cigarette breaks during half time (or is it quarters in netball?) and beer afterwards. Seriously, I’m overweight, I smoke, I’m terribly unfit and unco-ordinated and I’m playing organised sports?

What the fuck am I thinking?

Tomorrow night involves drinks and dinner at Beth’s where I’ve been told there will be a 24 drinking game. Essentially any time Jack Bauer asks Chloe for the schematics or yells there’s no time! we drink. Just between you and I, I think I might be quite drunk by the end of it.

I think I need help. As you can it’s a little later in the day and I’m at work. I’m still at work because my manager was off today and I don’t have to beg her shamelessly to be allowed to work back an extra hour or two. And see what happens when I work back? I get all of my work done for the day and I post. I think you guys should persuade my boss to let me work longer hours.

And that last sentence is why I need help.

I have a question for you – how often do you go out each week?

For me 2 nights a week is the perfect amount for me. One big night on the weekend, one big night on a school night. But the thing is I would be perfectly happy to stay at home each weekend and not do much else. Is this normal? Are most people out raging every night and I’m just the nanna my friends call me?

Anyway I hope you all have a great weekend.

sheer will power

Sunday Oct 7, 2007

I feel like crap today.

I’ve decided that my stubbornness can overrule any virus or chest infection that my body is trying to throw at me, and I can stop being sick with sheer willpower.

Unfortunately to do this I must keep my energy up and we all know that means eating, resting and doing as little as possible. Which I can’t do at work, although good lord I’ve been trying.

Adam is now on leave from work for a month or so leaving me in charge of the IT voice stuff for the company.

Wow. Is he ever going to live to regret that decision.

(I kid, Adam, I kid. Things are peachy, promise!)

Anyway, Friday was spent having a few drinks with some people from the interweb (awesome girls) and dinner with the girls/lesbians Saturday, and trying not to move more than 5 foot from my couch all day Sunday (I failed when I had a craving for Twisties sometime in the afternoon) (But I did watch a John Stamos telemovie so I think that negates it)

Today, at least, I’m grateful for the early finishes so I can go home, spread some infection germs on the peak hour trains and then crawl into bed. It’s so going to be sweet.

Although I do have new shoes, and they’re not hurting me. For real, no blisters. This never happens as I apparently have feet made out of spun silk which are nearly always left blistered and bloody after new shoes. Plus the shoes were bought for me by a friend who saw them and thought I’d look good in them. God. Bless. Her.

Anyway I need to go join up to do mixed netball each week, I have no idea why my friends want to do this or why they’re making me come along. Because netball? And me? Are you high?

midgets and lesbians

Wednesday Oct 3, 2007
Right, the eye twitch may be firmly back (and wow is it back with a vengeance) and this 5 p.m. finish just gets harder and harder I am loving the shit out of this job. I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m feeling like I’m fucking up in everything I’m doing and I’ve lost count of the conversations I’ve had with Adam where I start with,” You llliiiieeeed, the people here are mmmmeeeaaannnn and this stuff is hhharrrddd!!!.” but I’m still really enjoying it oddly enough.

Did you know that there are some boys out there who have problems with girls who drink beer?

I mean really. That’s like me being turned off by a man who uses hair product because of it’shas inherent female connotations. Or perpetuating the myth that boys don’t and shouldn’t cry by calling them sissy’s.

I really should ask this of the boys I have sleepovers with before I have sleepovers with them.

I know I shouldn’t slow down to look at car crashes but wow, read this whole schemozzle? Fascinating delusional reading.

Here’s some advice on non technological people using technical equipment – Don’t be stupid.

See, simple.

Here’s the thing – if you want to own and use a car you should know how to drive the damned thing, and you should also know some basics on what to do if something goes wrong, i.e. how to change a tyre, what to do when it won’t start, or changing the battery.

And yet there are people out there who use computers and the www daily and are surprised, I mean incredibly surprised, when they get viruses or their information (that they’ve willing put out there) gets hacked or they have completely inadequate personal security protections (Note to people – using the word password as your password? That is stupidity against all laws of man and nature).

Learn the basics, and if you don’t know enough make friends with an IT tech or your support company so you can call and ask about these things.


I was out at a drunken dinner last week with a couple of former work kids (from the last job) and I got some photos back. I was looking through them and noticed this photo –

Now, I look like a giantess in this one or some other hybrid chubby Amazon woman. Keep in mind that I am barely 5’3. That’s only slightly above legally a midget. Is this person next to me not the tiniest thing you’ve ever seen? I wanted to hug her and swish her around like a rag doll.

I realise it’s a by product of living in the stinky hipster gay friendly inner west but I have somehow acquired a few lesbian friends, pretty much overnight. I’m having drinks this weekend with the recently outed K, and my favourite lesbians are cooking me dinner Saturday night. God bless the lesbians.

Well, I’m beat so I’m heading home.

Be good kids

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