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Tuesday Mar 27, 2007

So the helping move Beth started off well. When you turn up to help someone move with coffee and croissants you’ve already scored major points. We finished packing for a couple of hours and then sat down for an hour or so talking shit. Because she has been disgustingly insanely busy (think my work hours then add every weekend and 16 hour days – insane) we had a lot to catch up on. She gave me some good advice and she wants to meet CountryBoy stat. Since my sister has met him and liked him she has to see for herself

(Both my sister Sabine and Beth have hated every single boy I’ve ever been involved with. Rightly so, because I tend to date complete fuckwits. So to have Sabine approve of this one is huge kudos and now she wants to meet him. Since he met my entire bloody family the first night I met him I think she can wait a few dates before that. Poor guy has probably only just recovered from the insane Antilogy family exposure)

But then the movers got there and took 2 hours to pack up a 1 bedroom apartment which was completely boxed up, and then gave us attitude for the layout of the new house. Because apparently we built the fucking house just to make their job difficult. Surprisingly enough as soon as Beth’s brother showed up they sped it up and dropped the attitude. I try not to wave the female flag that often, but I guarantee because we both had sets of breasts that they did it because they could. Here’s the thing – if you’re hired to do a job, fucking do it. My job pisses me off a lot but I do my work because I take pride in doing it well, plus because I’m paid to do what I do. If you’re not cut out for the work, quit. And stop being such douchebags because you’re lazy and thought we’d be easy to take us for a ride.

So right now I’m sweaty and tired and gross and have planned to call CountryBoy and take a bath with a glass of wine.

But when Beth’s brother was driving me home I asked him for some advice on this boy thing, whether I should ask him down for dinner instead and have him stay over, versus him driving a 4 hour round trip to hang out for an hour for lunch. But he also said something that’s stuck in my head –

(Background – he and I were our first crushes, it was this totally sweet puppy love and I adore him. So I’ve known him since he was this sweetly shy 13 year old to the now grown man at 24 whose getting married this year. He’s getting married on an island with only a few people and I’m honoured that he invited me so I can see him marry this completely awesome woman. But we fell out a few years ago over stuff I’d never really connected)

So he explained why he’d gotten angry with me and stopped talking with me, it was because I was involved with a couple of boys and he said “I just couldn’t understand why you were defending these guys when we previously would’ve ripped them apart and made up names for them, you completly lost your dating sense of humour.”

And I couldn’t agree more, these two boys were serious, arrogant to an extent and there were constant dramas. And I defended them, and to be honest have continued to defend them. Even when, and especially when, they didn’t deserve it. I completely lost my sense of humour with relationships because previously I would’ve told these guys to pull their head in and to fuck right off. Instead I fell in love with them.

Hence why I’m looking forward to see what this thing with CountryBoy does. Because he seems decent, and nice and is fun to talk to and seems open and honest. I mean he wants to hang out but doesn’t want to wait til Easter, so he’s just going to come to me to hang out. There was no retarded 3 day wait rule, he messaged me the next day and seems happy to plan something a few weeks in advance. And was not weirded out about sitting at a table at this function across from my Dad and next to my grandmother and did not see a problem with it.

Considering the last boy never introduced me to any of his friends and family (even after dating for a few months but then being friends for 2 years afterwards), and the one before that has put me through an emotional wringer so it’s just nice to meet a guy who seems cool and easygoing. And if nothing ever comes from it or it doesn’t turn out I’m really goddamned excited to start being involved with nice guys rather than douchebaggery train wrecks.

And the next time I meet someone who makes me jump through hoops I’m going to laugh at him and tell him to jump. Not fall in love with him and choose him and his wankering ways. I will get my dating sense of humour back, only because it’s so much more fun to take people at face value rather than to wait for the punchline that never bloody comes.

And this can only be a good thing.


Saturday Mar 24, 2007

Work owns me blah blah blah I’m tired blah blah blah.

I thought I’d get that out of the way now so I don’t write paragraphs about (fucking) work.

I did however finally get my nails redone. They were so bloody long I had issues, I spent 5 minutes at the my desk yesterday trying to get the sticky tape undone. Stupid nubby fingernails. I’m stopping this stupid nail thing though, I mean yes, pretty, but seriously painful. And I don’t do pain if I don’t have to. So there.

(I seriously have chubby little fingers)

I voted today, I’m not going to get into who because see first paragraph, blah blah. But I love election night, I’m watching the real time coverage of it. I think that people should care about this and should vote, because otherwise you forfeit your right to complain about what said government does. We elect these politicians and government and we should care.

Soapbox off.

I got two job offers this week. And these are great jobs, like awesome cut a few years off my ‘planned career path’ awesome. So now I get to decide what to do. Quite quickly. Which is gross.

Worked this morning and then went shopping, because that’s how I roll. I bought a Super Mario Bros t shirt, tis cool. Increases the geek status but such is life. There are some gorgeous winter clothes out there and of course I had to buy some tweed trousers for work and this little cropped little tailored jacket thingy which I want to kiss on the mouth I love it so much.

I was complaining to Adam last night that it’s been 2 months since any type of action, and how come he gets laid all the time and I don’t. Because I’m a nice friend I pointed out that he was great and all but an emotional cripple, while I’m cool and a minx in the sack. His advice? “You have guy commenter’s on your page, poach them”.

Adam the blog pimp.

I dated a boy I met from my last page a couple of years ago. He was the one who bought me a book on our first meeting and was just the cats meow. And he broke up with me over the phone while I was sick with glandular fever. So that was fun.

Although there are a lot of very cool boys out here it just seems tacky.

Oh, but the boy I met last weekend is quite nice, despite living 2 hours away. I called him during the week on Chesty advice to escalate from text messages. I’m a pure IT kid, if I can do my work all over e-mails then I’m happy, same goes with sms’. So I called and he is just as nice and funny and clever as I remember. We’re planning an Easter weekend catch up and he’ll be coming to Sydney for lunch or dinner while he’s on holidays at the moment. A boy driving 2 hours to hang out and I haven’t even kissed him yet? Go team Lucy.

Tomorrow I get to help Beth move. And because we are corporate whores who are terribly lazy she’s hired movers so really we just have to do final packing and eat the pastries I’m planning on buying. But if it’s as hot as it was today I’m boycotting. And by boycotting I mean doing it all but complaining about it constantly. She’s moving a few kilometres away, which in the grand scheme of things is not very far away but we shared an apartment for a couple of years a few years back and since then have always lived in the same suburb or neighbouring suburbs. Now she’ll have a new local which we both can’t stumble home from. And she’ll have a new breakfast place that we can’t walk to. So I’m pouting about that.

Also just to test the waters here Chesty and I have been tossing up about meeting, it’s kind of like blog girl dating. I think she’s tops, she thinks I’m tops etc etc. But we’re both quite nervous. So would anyone else be interested in a bloggy meet up in Sydney? Discuss.

bullfrog and the boy

Sunday Mar 18, 2007

I need to post the following photos. I saw my new niece this weekend and it was all I could do to stop nibbling on her little fingers.

Those cheeks! Plus she totally looks like a frog, whose totally copping a feel on my girls.

Also because I need to stop posting only the “prettiest” photos (I’m vain, sue me) here I am gnawing on her head.

Right, in the past 48 hours I’ve had far too much alcohol and not nearly enough sleep. I had a surprise 50th to go to and ended up drinking my ample body weight in beer, champagne and Dom Benedictine (I know this stuff is allegedly made by monks but these monk guys must be seriously evil, the stuff is like poison). It was a complete surprise and it was awesome.

But we were in the middle of the country, and by country I mean 20 minutes drive from the nearest town and on a working farm. With cows and working dogs and horses (which I fed with an apple, which it then sneezed all over one of my nieces. I’m mean because I laughed) And no mobile coverage, It was really really odd. But lovely. I grew up on a farm so it’s always somewhere I love visiting.

I also tortured all of the kids. For some reason kids like me, despite making every effort to make them go away. Actual quotes,

Kid – “Lucy, come and play with me”
– “Hell no, I’m busy go away”
– “You can’t say hell to me”
Lucy – “Totally can kiddo, can you get me a beer from over there?”

Kid – “What room are you staying in?”
Lucy – “Like I’m going to tell you, so you can knock and run all night long? Hell no, I know all of your tricks.”
Kid – “Oh Lucy, you’re so funny”
Lucy – “Deadly serious, I know your kind, bloody hellraisers”

Bloody kids.

Also *trumpets* I met a boy. In the middle of bloody nowhere at a family function of all places.

He is nice and cute and smart. Plus a teacher! A primary school teacher! Cute!

Also he kinda thought I was cool, which as we all know makes me instantly smitten.

But the kicker, and oh lord it’s a kicker, he knew the lyrics to some Spice Girl songs and he’s not gay!

I know.

So he asked for my number and he called this morning and we’ve been messaging most of the day.

So I’ve just got to work out a way to set up regular make out sessions with a boy who lives 2 and a half hours away.

Should be fun.

HECs money well spent

Thursday Mar 15, 2007

Wow, so work is really kicking my arse.

I left early today (5:30, ha!) and as I was walking out the door with the other guys they looked at me and went,” Uh, don’t you have to stay here for another couple of hours.” To that I say get stuffed.

I’ve been out most nights this week too and although I claimed myself as a hermit in the below post (I am, really) it’s been kinda cool. Except for the intense tiredness. I have eye bags that would rival Skeletor, and yawn as if my father was lecturing me.

I had an intelligent moment today, so I decided to commemorate the occasion. I was reading a review of this new 300 movie that everyone is all excited about seeing. Until I heard it was about a battle involving Spartans holding off a large army. And I was all “Battle of Thermopylae!”, “I totally know about that!”, “And I know about the little dude to ran all the way back to Sparta to warn the others. And then dropped dead!” “Go me!” Yeah, but my favourite part about reading about this was remembering reading Herodotus at uni and finding out the Spartans grew their hair long and oiled their long locks before battle. Cause oiled curls are fierce. Fiierrcessomme!

(I’m so glad I scored a $10,000 HECS debt just to remember that little nugget. Because everyone should have half an arts degree and half a law degree and only remember about the goddamn oiling of ancient Grecian warriors hair. My Dad would be so proud)

In good news yesterday I completely missed the train chaos on the way home. In part because I didn’t leave work til 7, but for the first time in months I got a ride home from work. So that’s one good thing for the week.

I also had to do some training sessions at work. As in I was actually training people on what I do. Wrong on so many levels. I also had to do a stupid bloody powerpoint thing. It was hot. But still wrong.

I have a surprise 50th birthday this weekend which I am actually excited about. See that right there is why I need to get out of the office more. But it will mean time with my father, and the fucking stepmother.

I have a stepmother. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before. But she is a pain and talks so much, even more than Adam which says a lot. So yeah, stepmother fun time.

I’m trying to be poached by another company, a company run by my old mentor who is terribly awesome and for some really odd reason thinks I’m pretty tops.


I watch Major Payne last night. Hands down funniest movie ever. Watching it with someone who snorts when they laugh only adds to the occasion.

It’s been close to 2 months since any type of sleepovers. I’ve officially reached the Zen stage. The Zen stage is where you get to the point where rather than freaking out that it’s been weeks and weeks since someone, besides yourself, have seen you naked, that you just shrug and go meh. Buddhism in title only, tis not peaceful or karmic. Just wrong.

I’m watching Missing Persons Unit and I really needs to stop watching heart wrenching reality TV. It’s bad enough that Denny died in Grey’s Anatomy, but the missing people is just putting me over the edge.

God I need sleep.

the weird

Saturday Mar 10, 2007

Donkay tagged me to write a meme (I still don’t know what the hell that
word means, I mean memo yes, meme? No clue) about 5 weird things about
myself. Because we like Donkay here goes –


I’m slightly OCD, and rigid with my routines. People who know me in
the real world just scoffed and said slightly?. To that I say get

For instance I must have a shower before I go to bed. Must. I don’t know
how morning shower people do it, filthy animals. You’re going to bed
dirty and you disgust me. I only slightly kid.

I get up each morning and I go to the bathroom, wash my face and then go
make my bed. I’ve already picked out what I’m going to wear the night
before so I get dressed, put my make up, have a cigarette and leave.

When I get to work I turn my laptop on, go order a coffee and make my
breakfast. Sit down, eat my breakfast testing my systems and checking my
emails and have my coffee while reading you kids.

Only then am I ready to actually talk and do work. God help you if you
try to get me to do programming before any of this.

Without fail I do this every morning.

God help you if you try and get me out on a school night, if I have less
than 7 hours sleep I’m not a happy girl. The more you try to coerce me
the more I dig in my heels. So know that if I meet up with you on a
school night, I.e. Stella, Adam, Beth, Amanda, I must really really like
you. Many have tried, many have failed.

So yeah, I like my routine.


I am completely freaked out by knives or other pointy sharp killing implements.

All I know is that my sister and I used to have our worst fights during washing/drying up times after dinner. (I was always washing up and she’d dry. But she’d disappear for half an hour and then come back after the dishes were all pretty much dry and she’d then just put them away. This infuriated me and I’d keep pouring water over the dishes so she’d have to at least dry up. This infuriated her) At one point it escalated, I had a wooden spoon (because I was obviously looking to be tough with my wooden nubby implement) and she had one of the knives she was washing up. Nothing happened but cut to Biology class in high school and having to dissect a cow’s eye ball (disgusting) and a friend of mine waving her scalpel around near me and me getting cold and faint.

I don’t like weapons of any kind, even seeing a policeman with their gun in their belt holster gives me the chills. I don’t like handling knives or seeing them. At all. Can’t explain it, just don’t like ’em.


Most of the time I am happier curled up at home reading than having to be around people. Other people and being entertaining absolutely exhausts me, it’s probably why I don’t like to go out on school nights. And also why I live on my own. Because outside a few of my closest friends socialising is like work to me, I feel I have to be funny and intelligent and entertaining and God god it’s tiring just writing that.

But I’ll regularly make up reasons why I can’t go out, with people I like mind you, so I can come home and be a hermit and not talk to people. While this should be a healthy thing in small doses I’ve been like this for years and absolutely love it.


I have tremendously high self worth (i.e. In all honesty I think I am completely awesome) but strangely shit self esteem. I don’t think that boys I like will like chubby girls, i.e. me, so I don’t even try. I think a guy is being friendly when he’s really flirting because I’m not quite sure why he would be interested. I think I’m mildly cute but really who only wants mildly cute and I think that I’m just not the girl that boys like.

In my head this is all rubbish, yet neurotic girl stuff only encourages this.


You know how you have a voice inside your head, pretty much just saying all the things that you don’t say out loud or what you’re thinking about?

Mine sounds like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob, and I think if it wasn’t so funny it would be horrendous.

He swears, he says horrible things about people walking past, he makes snap judgements about people who are knobs, he thinks about sex A LOT and it’s kinda awesome.

The day I found out that karma was measured on not only what you did but also on what you thought I was horrified. Because my thoughts are terrible, but with Jay as the narrator they’re also kinda cool.

In a ‘I’m definitely going to hell’ kinda way.


Oh and some that didn’t make the top 5 but are definitely up there –
– the taste and smell of mushrooms make me gag,
– I was so shy as a child that I used to hide in my wardrobe when people came to visit,
– I refuse to use the c word yet will then go weeks where I say it all the time,
– I think that people who don’t read are really fucking weird,
– I occasionally pick up vibes from people who have died (I get visits from my great grandmother when I’m stressed, I can tell its her because she always wore rose perfume and when she’s around all I can smell are roses),
– When I think of something bad I have to touch wood and whistle,
– I believe that there is a God but organised religion has bastardised it,
– I always wear black pants to work – will not wear any other colour,
– I always buy jeans a size too large so they’re comfortable to wear but they also show way too much plumbers crack for my liking,
– I’ve already pre-booked my copy of the last Harry Potter book and I will fiercely argue with anyone who says they’re crap,
– I can’t not make my bed of a morning – cannot,
– I unashamedly love the Spice Girls and Hanson and I will cut you if you try to tease me about it,
– I cannot make cookies or bake to save my life but am a pretty good cook for everything else,
– I never wanted to be famous purely for the sake of it and I think people who do are shallow vacuous knobs,
– I own nearly all of the Virginia Andrews books – these are all complete and utter trash yet love them,
– I have to fight the urge daily at work to stand up from my desk walk up to my boss, tell him I quit and then walk out,
– I think that people who work long long hours (more than I do) are empty people,
– I also worry that the amount of hours I do at work means I lead an empty boring existence,
– If my Dad wasn’t my Dad I’d be friends with him but I can’t say the same for my Mum.
– I think my grandma is the most kick arse woman I know,
– I will never eat non chicken KFC things again after getting horrific food poisoning from their cheesecake,
– The year I spent in Armidale studying while earning a grand total of $5000 for the whole year was one of the best years of my life,
– I want to get married and have babies eventually,
– I think cheese cake and Mexican food are the best thing on this earth
– I think Germaine Greer is a terrible waste of space and has nothing intelligent to say, this goes against a lot of the feminist ideals I have but really she should just shut the hell up;
– And I always get scared when I clean my ears that I’ll go to far and burst an eardrum

And I’m spent.


Tuesday Mar 6, 2007

Very quickly,

I caught up with Stella tonight. She is without a doubt the coolest girl I know. Hands down. No, for real. Her new job means she works with one of the makers of the best movie ever made, Chopper.

(Please indulge my favourite Chopper quotes just for a sec k, I found the quote section of that link and oh my –

Chopper: Oh, Keithy. I always thought I was a good bloke.
Keithy George: Ha. What did you ever do that was good?
Chopper: Well, I bashed you. That was good, wasn’t it? It was good for a bit of a giggle, anyway.


Chopper: Look, you’re not still angry at me about the leg, are you?
Neville Bartos: Nah, forget about it.
Chopper: Because I don’t know if you remember, Neville, but I had that bloody shotgun pointed at your head. I reconsidered and dropped it down to your kneecap. Remember?
Neville Bartos: Forget about it. All right?
Chopper: I mean, what the bloody hell were you doing getting lippy at me with a bloody shotgun? I had a bloody loaded shotgun.
Neville Bartos: The leg is okay, all right?


Stella also owns fucking awesome designer handbags and is terribly cute. If you did not know her awesomeness you would hate her.

Work is kicking my arse. I told the boss that I almost called in sick because it was a miserable day. Reminder to self – do not admit slacking tendencies to person who monitors your work.

It just never bloody stops, and after last week I was kinda hoping I could relax a little this week. But no, plus I get to work Saturday. Yay!

Bloody bugger pants shit.

People in my life at the moment are either having tremendously good times, or horrifically bad times. And when I want to find out what the hell is happening I call my Dad and ask what the planets and cosmic wankery is doing. And every single times big stuff is happening he always has an explanation because some moon is in Scorpio or there’s a once in a 5 year planet alignment thing.

This makes me sound like a big dirty hippy. But really just my Dad is. It’s still nice to know that although I’m having a great time and other people are having crap times there’s some cosmic reason we can blame.

I haven’t seen Beth in two weeks and it’s starting to blow. Plus with all of my Grey’s Anatomy and Lost watched I am fresh out of ideas. Except I get paid this week so I can probably fill this vacuum with new shoes or bags. Because that’s how I roll.

real time Lucy loser life update

Friday Mar 2, 2007
Well the last post just bollocksed everything up. Surest way to make sure something gets worse is to write about how glad you are it’s over.

I was at work until 10:30 last night. Again that’s 10:30, P to the M. At one point I’m sitting on the floor of the server room, freezing to death in the 20 degree temperature in a short sleeved blouse, almost whimpering because this damned thing just WOULD NOT WORK.

Fucking IT and goddamn 16 hour days.

(This is a photo taken last night as I was leaving, note the red glassy eyes, eye bags and the ghostly pale skin of a long day of exposure to only air conditioned fluorescent lights.)

(Also note shiny floor boards that I do half falls/skids on a daily basis.)

And I’ve hit a brick wall in pursuit of the mysterious geeky bearded boy (In these here brackets I wrote about what i did to find out his number or email address. But I deleted it because it made me sound creepy and stalkerish rather than the charming whimsical Amelie fashion it was supposed to be in.) And the only avenue left is to ask for his contact details from the manager who looks after the system that he was working on. Now, while she is a single woman and may understand I fear she may get the same feeling as the now deleted bracket statement. I.e. I am desperate and slightly stalkerish. Which only the second part is true. Gah,


I just decided to Google him in the hope that maybe he was Googleable.

Holy fuck, this is really really bad.

Not only is he married, but he’s a Christian (this is not a bad thing, but when you’re looking for making out partners this is generally not the first trait you look for – please don’t hate my agnostic self Acton)


I only wish that this wasn’t a real time story of Lucy dating humilitation.

Especially since I’m sitting at home in a hello kitty tshirt on a Friday night watching Love Actually.

I think that this solution needs to be remedied by a glass of wine and a cigarette.

(And never let it be said that I do not entertain here)

(And yes, it was him. His full name is terribly distinctive)


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