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I look good for 200

Tuesday Jan 30, 2007

(Holy crap – this is my 200th post! I was totally going to make an occasion of it but really why start with pomp and ceremony now. What I will say is thank you very much for reading, not too sound all father/daughter wedding dance but you guys totally light up my life. Plus if you read and don’t comment please say hi today. I have no idea who all of you are but if you do it I’ll be your best friend – but you have to swear a lot and like Brit Pop music and like sleeping and eating Mexican food k)

I just read Girl with the Pearl Earring and it was absolutely delightful. And because it is another of my favourite things (Scarlett Johannson) I can’t wait to see the movie (seriously if you haven’t read it, do it. Plus so very easy to read. Which we like. The thinking hurts my head too much)

I am bloody exhausted, between a two hour ‘brain storming’ session at work (painfully argumentative), yelling at a friend for something valid and a whole lot of not valid, getting a shit night’s sleep and a bit too much Thai food and wine last night I need an early night.

Oh and last week when I had that whole ‘let’s get on a train for an hour or two to visit the fam and get some second degree burns from sitting in the sun at lunch’ thing I decided to take my laptop and watch a couple of movies to make the trip a little easier. And because I am all about helping people learn from my mistakes – do not think that the Black Dahlia is suitable for public viewing. While watching it on the train I realised there’s a bit of sexiness and nudity in it. But by then I’d gotten into it so I had to keep watching. But not before watching a particular scene (an ‘erotic movie shoot’) and noticing a random child hanging over the back of my seat. He scooted back to his seat but not before asking his Mum what that lady was watching with the boobies.

Ah yes, the lady watching the movie with the ‘boobies’.

Because I am nothing but committed I put my headphones back on and watched the rest of the damned thing, while the mother and child changed seats.

Just tops.

Oh and when you boss asks whose had enough of his pep talks in a team meeting, do not, I repeat DO NOT, be the first person to raise their hand with suitable enthusiasm. Because we would like for our contract to be renewed and that will probably not be noted down as a point for you.

My mother flew home this morning, it was a lovely holiday and we actually got to spend a lot of time together. Except for the sleeping in the same bed thing, I could really do without that. We even came to a compromise that 20 years after my parents divorced that we would be forcing them together for the first time at our (my sister or me) weddings and they would bloody well enjoy it. We couldn’t do the big 18th or 21st thing because the parental love? Yeah it died quite a while ago now, but dammit we’re not doing double weddings so the parents can suck it. It’s really quite odd when they were so civil when we were growing up but as soon as they realise we’re old enough it’s gloves off.

Bloody parents.

And wedding talk is a little weird but you have to ease people into these things.

Also, still doing Lite n Easy. Thanks to two long weekends in a row the wheels are a little wobbly but the joys of not having to cook or wash up during the week is just too sweet to give up. Well plus the losing weight thing. I don’t own scales, don’t need to have a fat day reinforced with a solid number, thank you very much. All I know is that the girls are smaller than they were and I’m not going to mourn them this time. I mean really, 14C is a pretty decent size. And i have to stop thinking that less than DD’s are pathetic.

So that’s my newest shallow goal of the week. No mourning of my breasts.

See two breasts mentions in one post! I am on fire this week.


Saturday Jan 27, 2007

I am a self proclaimed and also anointed nanna.

I like to have need to have 8 hours of sleep on school nights if I’m expected to do my job. If not I turn into a squinty, confused elderly Jewish man saying, “Wha? Speak up! Oi vey”. Weekends are fair game but I guarantee you after a big night out between 3 and 6 I’ll be napping on the lounge.

Most times I go out with my friend Beth I tend to exit after midnight but before 1 or 2. Because I’m bloody tired and I want to go home. Beth is totally cool with this, while she is a little rager and can easily stay out drinking her body weight in alcohol I’m only little (height not girth). So while I accept her staying power she gives me a kiss on the cheek and sends me home in a cab. If you have the pleasure of knowing me in real life you will learn to love this (although the first time I met Stella at a house party I was terribly inebriated and walked up to her gave her a hug and told her she had “the best fucking eyebrows and hair ever and if it was legal I would marry them” and then kept drinking Jagermeister punch until 3 in the morning and then made her drive me home.)

I am a disgrace and a contradiction sometimes.

Anywho I am fine with this title. I am not down with drinking (heavily) on school nights and if this makes me a ‘grandma’ then so be it.

What I will say is if you are one of those douche bags who takes it as a personal affront that I am tired, and probably realise that I need to stop drinking and go home you are a knob. I refuse to be that one person on a big night yawning and complaining how tired and bored they are and really just ruining the mood for everyone who is still enjoying themselves. And if you think that making someone stay out even though they’re over it and tired just to make you happy?

You are a selfish knob.


Good things about today involved –

– Eating a double Quarter Pounder burger for the first time – Oh.Good.God. My arteries may hate me but damn.
– Buying a huge amount of Nigella Lawson kitchen stuff. And I mean far too much, as in a whole weeks rent of stuff. But seriously how could you not buy this stuff? Plus you totally know once those alphabet cookie cutters are delivered I’m going to be making obscene cookies and sending them to people like my grandma (i.e. Grandma – You Fucking Rockstar*)
– Buying head scarfs so I can finally get my damned fringe off my face in hot weather. Let’s ignore the fact that I look Amish OK?

– Also buying leopard print ballet slippers and delightful necklaces.

Yep, I went shopping today.

And because I am a complete party animal I’m going to go to bed and watch Little Miss Sunshine” on my laptop and sleep like a rockstar.

(*I think I’m actually going to do that, expletive and all. My Grams is cool)

fire and holidays

Tuesday Jan 23, 2007

What’s more beautiful than a long weekend?

A long weekend that is extended by an extra day because of bushfires and major road and rail closures.


(The extra day off, obviously not the bushfires. Plus the fires were deliberately lit, which they always tend to be which makes me incredibly angry. I grew up around the area, and to see it devastated year after year by fucking litterbugs throwing cigarette butts out of a car in an area that has kilometres and kilometres of dry bushland makes me sick. Put it out in your fucking ashtray)

I have had the best weekend, I, quite cruelly, called a couple of my friends yesterday morning at work to say hi. But because I was calling while lying on the beach and I was doing it to rub it in my karma is going to be shot.

I caught up my Mum which was awesome, and I drank nice and solidly. I also got horrifically burnt while having lunch on Sunday, and I now have t-shirt tan lines. I hate tan lines, I mean despise them. But because I am not into nude sunbathing I now have to come up with a strategy that gets rid of the cute little cap sleeved sun burn I’m now sporting.
I don’t normally do the news article linky thing but this article about a guy half eaten by a shark, and survived by climbing out of its jaws and poking it in the eye. Now read that again slowly, climbing out of a sharks jaw and POKING IT IN THE EYE.

God I love being Australia sometimes, just so I can say that this dude is totally Oz and deserves to live a long and happy life.

Favourite word of the week is a-hole, I still love Denozo of NCIS and because I’ve shared a bed with my mother for the last 3 nights (writing it down makes it seem wwaaayy creepier than it was) (actually not creepy but just painful – there is nothing like the panic of going for the spoon – because we know how much Lucy loves spoon – before opening your eye and realising you were going to spoon your mother. There’s not much short of therapy that can remove that image) (Oh and also because she rolls over terribly violently with flaying limbs, which all mean she’d whack me a couple of times a night before apologising and doing it again an hour or two later)

Oh wait, I had a beginning of a sentence up there. Oh yes, looking very much to sleeping in my own bed without fear of a flaying maternal limb.


Wednesday Jan 17, 2007

4 hours – Time spent watching 24 and Jack Bauer. Despite Lozo’s protest I want Jack’s manbabies.

5 hours – The amount of time spent sleeping last night.

10 hours – Spent at work. Boring and busy. The worst kind.

OK, I’m bored with that already.

My mother flew in yesterday and I got to spend last night with her and it was awesome. I’m taking Monday off so I can go to a family reunion thing and hang at the beach on the coast. Although the idea baring my lily white body to the masses is slightly terrifying I guess there’s only one thing to do – get ’em out 🙂

The diet thing is going nicely, despite two beers and nachos last night which we’ll pretend never happened. I’m sticking to it, I have my ideas of why I enjoy being a chubby girl but they bore even more so I won’t elaborate here. But needless to say I don’t want to be the chubby girl with personality anymore. I’d prefer to be the curvy girl with personality you know?

Over at Indiana’s page there was talk of following a 10 date rule. Now at drinks on Saturday night the head count was brought up (i.e. how many people you’ve shagged). Between 5 people the count was around 150. Keep in mind we had a gay man and 4 relatively cute girls. But 150? Holy fuck. I mean the man bought a count of 70+ alone. Again keep in mind that there was no one over the age of 30 there. Now I’m quite happy with my pathetically small 1 hand count number, but these two different conversations have reassured me that people are doing their own thing with or without guidelines and following whatever Cosmo has decreed as our moral compass for the month.

Because God knows I hate doing what I’m told.

mission statement

Sunday Jan 14, 2007

I have to say I’m a big fan of exaggeration, but I say with no hint of hyperbole that I have the worst hangover I’ve ever had.

Yesterday was 6 hours of shopping at the Bondi Junction Westfield. Just quietly – that place is fucking huge.Thanks to gift vouchers I bought the cutest jacket ever, replenished my Lolita Lempicka perfume and to support my latest “Ban the Brazilian Wax” protest a bikini trimmer.

Now I know that having hot wax poured on my bikini line is, let’s face it, pretty bloody stupid, I’m really quite terrified at the idea of using it. Fingers crossed.

In the afternoon my sister and I went for a few drinks with friends, which ended at drinking at 3 am this morning at Beth’s boyfriends (Transformer) apartment watching two tattooed boys playing Guitar Hero. I didn’t make it home despite being only 5 minute cab ride home because let’s face it there was a couch there with my name all over it.

Plus there was a boy there, who has long hair and tattoos who I quite like. He’s a nice guy, probably one of the nicest guys I’ve met in a very long time. He denies it but there’s the tiniest hint of arrogance there which, frankly, is hot. And as usual I have no idea where to go from here but I’m going to pursue it.

Because I am a corporate drone, thank you sister for that comment, I wrote a mission statement for 2007. Really it’s just an extended resolution list of goals and wants for 2007, but I wanted to put it all down. And since I have I’ve met a nice boy (that even Beth approves of – which is a miracle as she’s hated every other boy I’ve been involved with) and I’ve been offered a possible job doing all of the stuff I’m good at – both of which were on my list.

I had my usual Sunday morning breakfast with Adam. Because he is insane he made me meet him for breakfast at 8 a.m. Now considering I got to bed after 3 and it was so goddamn hot that I slept for about 2 hours it was a terribly fragile Lucy he encountered this morning. My goal for today was to keep down breakfast, other people have more noble goals but this morning it was an insurmountable task I’d set. A very interesting career opportunity was presented which I need to give careful consideration to.

My mother flies in on Tuesday so I get to hang out with her, and spend a long weekend with her and family I haven’t seen in a couple of years. It’s been over 6 months since I’ve seen her and I know I’ll have to fight back the urge to tell her to move home.

Tomorrow night is another night at Transformer’s place, this time to watch a few episodes of the new season of 24, and yes it may just be the highlight of my week. This boy will be there as well so we’ll see how that goes.

Overall this weekend has been awesome, my liver and credit card hates me, but dammit it’s been so long since I’ve been feeling this positive that I’m going to squeeze as much out of it as I can.


Wednesday Jan 10, 2007

Right so the diet is coming along nicely.

I’m not so hungry and I’m seeing it long term. Plus I’ve given myself a day off each week which is going to be saturday where there will be a big fuck off breakfast and a boozy lunch with the girls.

Work is just getting better and better. I’m enjoying it and I’m busy and I’m staying back rather than clock watching for 6 o’clock. I’m doing the stuff I’m good at and enjoying the hell out of it. Everyone seems to be assured that I’ll be offered a full time position, except me. I don’t like the idea of looking for work again because i suck at interviews, resume and the self confidence. So we’ll see.

I got called one of the boys today by different IT boys. I’m amazed it took so long to be honest. On of them also called me a smartarse, which, really who doesn’t know that?

I am terribly curious. I ask a lot of questions – a boy I used to date hated me asking questions – we obviously broke up not long after that little tantrum. I like to know what’s going on and how it’s working.

It’s probably why I do okay in my job, I like to figure out how to do things as quickly as possible. It’s probably why I had so much trouble in the first month or two at the new job – there’s nothing more frustrating than not knowing what to do or how to do it.

In it’s worse possible form it can mean me being nosy, intrusive and a control freak.

I can’t say I’ll never snoop around my boyfriends stuff, I’d like to think I wouldn’t but I don’t make promises I can’t keep. And because I’m so nosy about other people’s stuff I tend to be pretty open if other people want to know about what’s going on with me – hence this here site.

Some of the blogs I read who are quite anonymous or cagey with details and I just want to yell, Just tell us your real name dammit!.

I’m balanced like that.

Well and quite hypocritical because Lucy is not my real name.


And because I’m a huge fan of equal opportunity (Ha, I love bastardising feminist struggle) if you do want to know anything about me ask away (comment or email)

the resolutions

Monday Jan 8, 2007

Oh man I had a good work day today. I was busy and I forgot how much I love doing what I do. The next few weeks are going to be much of the same and I’m actually looking forward to it.

Today is also the first day of the coughdietcough

So far I’ve had chicken ceasar salad for lunch and macaroni cheese for dinner.

(Let’s conveniently ignore the fact I got a whole 20 grams of chicken and 2 lettuce leaves and I’m hungry and have to look at a gum machine full of M&M’s, shall we?)

I’ve also figured out that when it comes to boys I have the mindset of an 18 year old. And react like one sometimes.

I was a….late starter (?) when it came to boys. I loved them but I was even worse than I was today (i.e. perpetual friend), so it’s only been in the last few years that I’ve really started having relationships, and let’s be honest, rockstar sex.

So I tend to be a few years behind the standard 25 year old female mindset. It leads to me dating/getting involved with emotionally unavailable boys, which drives me crazy and leads me to act crazy like.

As a result I now have two things I’m working on this year –

1. Get my license and buy a car.

Shut up! I live within a $15 cab ride of pretty much anywhere in the city, it takes me half an hour door to door to get to work in the morning and all of my friends live in the Inner West. But it’s getting sad so this year will be me getting my L’s (third time lucky I suppose) and buying a sweet little car I can endanger lives with.

2. Grow the fuck up.

I’ve got my career sorted. I have great friends and I adore my family. But I need to get out there, and get rejected, and meet new boys and frankly start making out with new boys.

I quite like these.


Thursday Jan 4, 2007

Let’s hear it for Next G wireless cards!

I’ve gone from having to sit outside my apartment to get an OK connection to downloading 2 Gb worth of Lost in like an hour


I think I either have a hernia or appendicitis. Or gas. I can’t really tell but I’m in pain.

I’ve either turned into a hypochondriac or I’m deathly ill. I may as well just call my grandma and compare cataract and hip surgeries.

This week has been sweet at work, it’s so quiet that the boss has been telling us to leave early. I’m taking full advantage of it, I got out of there at 5 tonight and I celebrated my early finish by going to the library.

I know, I can’t believe I’m still single too.

I’ve also eaten brown rice and Ferrero Rocher’s for dinner, not together, obviously. I start Lite n Easy tomorrow, I have to admit I’ve never been more excited to start a diet. But really it’s the diet for slackers, they send me all my food all labelled and put together for each day of the week. It’s going to be sweet.

Well except for after a few days when I’ve had to look at the half full box of Ferrero’s on my coffee table and I’m not allowed to eat them.

I put some terrible photos of New Years up on Flickr (please imagine in the one of me I don’t have a cigarette in my hand k)

This weekend because I am a poh child after Christmas I’ll be spending all of my gift vouchers (free shopping!) and napping. And trying not to make out with the douchebag.

Fingers crossed.

new years, xmas etc etc

Monday Jan 1, 2007

I have had a break.

Has been lovely.

I followed my Christmas resolution to nap every day, minus one or two. I relaxed, I ate, I drank, I slept, I caught up with old friends, I enjoyed myself immensely.

Going back to work tomorrow after 10 days off doesn’t fill me with the same dread as a standard Sunday night, I actually feel rested and ready for work. Since I haven’t had a holiday in 18 months I forgot just how good it feels.

Christmas was with the family, I met my gorgeous little niece and gnawed on her chubby her cheeks and tiny fingernails and toes.

I babysat for my friend Meg and chased a chubby little curly haired red haired child around their house. Her new nickname is gingernut which I imagine is not the nicest name but good lord, flaming red hair calls for it.

Like a lot of other people I don’t hold much on the whole New Years shebang. Wherever I am it’s gotta be fun, but comfortable, with good friends and as close to home as possible – because god knows waiting 2 hours in the middle of the city wearing painful high heels and feeling very, very shabby is about as fun as a punch in the head. These are not negotiable.

So this year was a civilised dinner thing in the Forum at Leichhardt – walkable? Check. Great food? Check. Lots of wine? Check. Having a great time watching the families and nonna’s dancing in the square? Checkity check.

It took 10 minutes to walk home, I woke up this morning feeling half way decent and was a great way to start the new year.

Unlike my poor Beth who ended up having a fight with Transformer just before midnight, and rang in the new year sitting in her car waiting to sober up so she could drive home, crying, no cigarettes or alcohol, and not being able to get through to anyone as the mobile network was completely fucked.

Poor kitten.

I think resolutions are shit, so none from me. I know I’m looking forward to this year and starting and trying new things. The last year has been very meh and I’m glad it’s over.

I learnt a lot – none worth much or particularly clever. I.e. –

Picking limes from my lime tree will result in the ants from the tree getting into my clothes and biting me for hours after I’d enjoyed the caprioska I’d picked the damned things for.
Smoking while having a sore throat will result in a 2 week bout of toncillitis.
Boys who are tools before, will continue to be tools no matter the change of circumstances.
Elliot from Law and Order – SVU is the hottest man on TV.
Having home made lemoncello shots at midnight will ensure you will trip over walking home.
Self portrait photos will end up looking like this most of the time.
Even though we’re 10 years older I will still spend a fair chunk of my Saturday mornings hungover with Beth playing Super Mario Brothers on my Super Nintendo.
Being called a specialist at work does not mean that you can’t obsessively watch Laguna Beach.
My family are fucking weird.
No matter how much you guilt trip your mother she will not move back from the other side of Australia just so she can stroke your hair when you’re sick.
If you’re a girl in a Leichhardt restaurant you will always get better service from the Italian waiters.
I am worth more, and I do deserve more from the boys I’m involved with.
An M&M gum ball machine, as predicted, has been the downfall to the my diet (I’m eating them as we speak)
Despite not making one gym visit since starting my new job I totally haven’t put on any weight – I am a God!

So yes, that’s about it. Let’s hope the next year will be a little more informative and a lot more fun.

Oh, and have a lot more vacuous fun from the kids from Laguna Beach.

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