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fat so and so

Thursday Aug 10, 2006

Right, so I didn’t bugger up the meeting too badly. I did however have to cover for our CIO for half an hour , as in 30 excruciating minutes, with the clients until he got there.

If you looked up intimidated in the dictionary you would have seen me Tuesday in a boardroom with 3 sales and technicial executives. All men, all over 6 foot and……me. Lucy. 5 foot 3, and let’s face it completely fucking unprofessional.

So that was fun. I’ve never felt more like hugging a man than when the CIO got there. Except I don’t hug work people. Except that one colleague I lost my virginity to but that’s a story for another day.

I am tired. Very very tired. Since I’ve been going to the gym I’ve gotten fitter and to get my heart rate up to the threshold it should be at I need to work out harder than when I started. (Gayest sentence ever) This all means I have to work harder at the gym to get the same workout. This all means I spend most of my workout quietly whimpering, literally.

I’ve decided to stop reading utter trash (books read this week include – Jeffrey Dahmer autobiography and a Janet Evanovich book, crap make that two) and occasionally read something that requires me to use my brain. And I will totally do that once I finish this disgusting book about a serial killer.

Oh how I adore Regina Spektor, just beautiful. At least it’s better than listening to The Smiths constantly (shut it)

This article is why I love the shit out of Australia. In essence the next possible Australian prime minister gets into a a verbal stoush with another minister at a live press conference. The particularly cool part is the particular insults included “take your tablets” and my favourite – “you fat so and so”.

Sometimes peoples arrogance astounds me. The boy who ended our friendship via a blog post of his a month or so ago just sent me a message.

Wanker.


same old same old

Tuesday Aug 8, 2006

Right, so this career stuff is really quite frightening sometimes.

I get to go to meetings with our Chief Technology officer tomorrow. This as in the head of IT and our main vendors….

And me.

I’m pretty sure I will be fine, there is always that slight possibility that I will say something terribly stupid and ruin a fine emerging career. Plus the whole gi girls in IT, whoo!

Lord give me strength.

I noticed something today that I hadn’t witnessed in a good long time. My parents separated and divorced over 10 years ago. It was never a big deal to Lucy as a 5 year old, even at that age I knew it was a better thing for everyone if Mum and Dad weren’t together.

5 year old logic – “Everyone being happy? Great idea!”

But what I have noticed is when colleagues/acquaintances realise that they’re divorced, as they obviously hadn’t realized they were, they seem surprised. I’m not sure what they’re surprised about, I never talk about my parents in the collective (purely because there isn’t “the parents”, only Mum and Dad as separate entities) and that they literally live on opposite sides of the country. And if they expected a “damaged” divorced child it’s not going to happen, beyond the usual damage anyway.

Plus it’s the reaction of surprise I haven’t seen since primary school when out of 6 girls I grew up with I was the only one with parents not together. This ratio has blown way out since then those parents who are still together have become unusual. So are these type of reactions due to me spending most of my day on the conservative North Shore? Or is divorce still a novelty, because I was sure at a 40% rate more people would be kinda blasé about it.

I got a lovely email today from someone who visits here which I am genuinely blown away by. This comment/ feedback shit is awesome 🙂 And thank you.

So in summary – my career ends tomorrow, my parents are divorced – surprised? And I am a god.

Oh and I bought a pair of male Astro Boy y fronts which, as I am wear them now, are terribly comfortable. So let’s add wearing male underwear to that list, yes?

All up a normal day really.


honest, no?

Saturday Aug 5, 2006

One thing I noticed recently was the increase in cool people with sites who have come out of the loud and proud closet and announced themselves as quiet people in real life.

I am, unfortunately, exactly how I am here as I am in my day to day life.

– I swear, quite profusely at times,
– I am vain yet highly self deprecating and insecure (see multiple slf portrait photos)
– I am sometimes loud, sometimes quiet.
– I am always cheeky and tease my guy friends and male colleagues relentlessly.
– I am friends with enough boys that most of the boys I have crushes on call me by my surname, and teach me disgusting sexual related terms.
– I love a beer on a weekend afternoon.
– I fiercely love my girlfriends, particularly Beth who is me with blonder hair and perfect breasts (seriously perfect, highly impressive)
– I am as goofy and clumsy in real life that a day does not go past where I haven’t had a near death experience with my lanyard and a door knob (they get hooked on things and I wind up half choking until the ’emergency release’ thing releases) or tripped over carpet, floor or nothing.
– I am very much the terribly not together or presentable girl on a daily basis, despite my best efforts to be perky and neat.

So, I wonder if peoples true personalities are released here because they don’t have the standard role they’ve been given by friends and family to remain within?

Or is it that the (mostly) positive feedback you get here encourages an openness and RAH-ness that you wouldn’t normally get in the real world?

Or maybe it’s like how I don’t get into boy related stuff here because my relationships are total train wrecks (or more accurately unrequited love with emotionally void boys), or family related things because that’s mine and not to share, or body image stuff when it occasionally comes up?

I’m not sure, I think the image of this here page is a pretty accurate reflection of the real life Lucy (Stella, Jonathan, Ramona, yes/no?) so what I wonder is how many people are also skimming over details, accentuating some features, hiding others and does that actually take away the ‘honest’ tag of their writing?

In other news – I made my own tabouli tonight, took a 4 hour nap this afternoon/evening (I went to sleep in the early afternoon and woke to darkness and it made my head hurt)and had a sleepover last night that was awesome.

All up a good Saturday.


lame

Wednesday Aug 2, 2006

Since joining the gym two months ago I’ve lost no weight, but now have calluses on my hands from the weights and work out stuff.

Calluses.

So with the muscles I’m building up it appears I’m turning into a man. I imagine this would hold more weight though if the girls were not DD’s at the moment.

Saddest feeling in the world is planning a holiday and looking at island resort holidays in your lunch break at work. And then stopping and looking around and getting very very depressed. Beth can’t go until January, I’m almost positive I cannot wait until then and I want to go like now-ish, in November. But I have no one to go with then.

Stupid holidays.

Now I understand that boy logic and girl logic are very far apart, in fact let’s be honest and say they’ve never even met and if they did they’d hate each other.

But when you have a FB style relationship I wouldn’t imagine that the girl in it is meant to be pestering the boy to get together. Because I’m sorry but pestering is required when it’s once a fortnight/month. Who does that? If I wanted that type of arrangement I’d have been married for a couple of years. So yeah my boy is lame and he’s destroying the sanctity of an FB relationship.

No really.


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