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nuh uh

Tuesday Aug 29, 2006

While I am in total awe of boys who approach girls to hit on (unless there’s a sleaziness element to it and then they suck) I am not a girl who can approach a perfect stranger. Mainly out of shyness, because holy fuck.

But really because I’m throwing myself at a total stranger and asking to be judged, mainly on my appearance because in first impressions all you’ve got is an opening line and how you look/present yourself.

And being a generally typical girl I am a little unsure of my looks. I mean in all honesty I think I’m tremendously cool, I’m foul mouthed and a little funny and I’m pretty sure I’m a bit cute. But that’s all stuff that doesn’t come out in a 5 second “Do you come here often” scenario.

Also, I am the best friend, I am the Fb, I am the girl they hang out with and make out with occasionally, I am the cool girl friend who they do not think of when thinking of girlfriends versus girl friends. I am not the one that the first thought of a boy is “She’s hot”. That’s not self deprecation, that’s simply an observation past experience has shown.

Now, keeping a conversation going? That’s a relatively easy one.

I just lack the balls to go up to a stranger and to ask, to quote Lisa Simpson, “Grade me, mark me, judge me!”.

But if someone wants to speak with me/hit on me, in a non sleazy creepy ‘I need a shower with bleach and a scourer after speaking with’ way, I’m totally all for it.

It just won’t be me initiating it.


never again part two

Sunday Aug 27, 2006

Look, I’m not even going to insult your intelligence by starting another post about how rubbish I’m feeling because I went out for a few drinks, and again ended up coming home in the wee hours. Because really, I don’t think I’m fooling myself anymore.

But essentially I went out yesterday evening for a few drinks at the Opera Bar to celebrate both the job for me and new shoes purchase for both my sister and I.

I never claim to not be shallow. They are gorgeous though.

It was beautiful, this photo was taken from our seat. Sydney is a beautiful beautiful city. Before you know it 3 bottles of wine, copious cocktails, a visit to a new friends restaurant in The Rocks for the best food I’ve had in ages and Caprioska’s.

Enter hangover and a general delicate state this morning.

I have the dubious honour of keeping the new role a secret until I get the contract in a day or two. I am incapable of keeping a secret and my company is a hot bed for gossip. I think I’m going to have to go with the “I’ll find out in a couple of days” if they were aware of the interview. And pray that the few people I’ve told won’t tell any common work friends.

I smoked a little last night. It’s something I’m ambivalent about and trying to keep it that way. I have no desire to continue it today, and actually the idea of smoking even one cigarette makes me feel nauseous. I’m keeping it at the winding down after a stressful week. Gah.

I had a conversation with Beth over breakfast this morning about where you find boys to just make out and have sleepovers with without anything more. We’re both single, I don’t think we’re hideously unattractive yet we just don’t mix in the same way with guys than when we did at 18. Naturally clubs and drunken skeazy places are out as I’ve never met any decent guy whose pick up line was grabbing my arse.

What I will say is I wish more boys would approach girls outside of clubs and pubs. A comment from a man in line while getting coffee, in a bookstore, waiting to get lunch will get a much more favourable response than the same comment in a pub, club no matter how nice he seems.

This week will be interesting, things are finally changing and just the idea of all the new stuff exhausts me. I’ll be glad when the new job starts and I can settle in a little.

I totally get to wear suits to work as well which means shopping, which equals a happy Lucy.

Anyway kids I hope you had great weekends.


so the interview…..

Friday Aug 25, 2006

I didn’t throw up, I didn’t pass out and I didn’t make a total prat of myself.

In fact the interview was with only one man who would be my boss, versus the panel I expected. The office is located smack bang in the middle of the city, in brand new fucking awesome offices. We’ll ignore the fact the office is floor to ceiling glass and they’re on the 20 something floor (I hate heights).

There was even a cafe on the floor and some rock garden fountain thing. Tis terribly chic. Plus free coffee before 8! Free coffee! Before 8!

So not only is this guy easy to talk with, he talks about the job and what he wants until my nerves calm down. He even swears.

I naturally love him.

He outlines my dream job with awesome technology to manage, I tell him some ideas and projects I’m been working on that could be applicable in this role and he sighs and tells me they’re fantastic.

He asks what salary I would be expecting, I name an obscene amount tens of thousands more than I currently earn and he says, “Sounds fine”.

Sounds fine?

Dude.

While I’m fighting back a giddy dance of finally being able to purchase a property he asks when I can start.

So I totally have a new job.

And I’ve lost two kilos this week on this damned diet (let’s ignore the glass of wine and handful of chips I had tonight to celebrate, yeah?).

So on a serious note this week has ended much better than when it started and that’s a good thing and on a glib note I totally scored a dream job where I will be paid an obscene salary and will work my arse off and therefore I rule.


lordy

Thursday Aug 24, 2006

Right, so I have an interview tomorrow for a new job.

I am, naturally, petrified as I haven’t had to do an interview in years.

I’m under qualified and going into it with an expectation of interview experience only with a quiet hope I actually I get it. It’s based on a much more technical system than I currently manage and I haven’t worked on one in a good 12 months so all of the commands and jargon has completely escaped me.

Anyway we should do things that scare us and all of that other wank, so yeah I’ll try not to make a complete prat of myself and we should be fine.

God.


ugly

Tuesday Aug 22, 2006

If I used the c word it’s how I would describe my day. I’m working from home tomorrow for a couple of reasons, I need to be here for a repair but it also means I’m not at work. I am quite unhappy with my job at the moment.

My old arch nemesis and I are catching up this week to talk about a job opportunity at the company he works for. The job description terrifies me. But something’s gotta give where I am.

I’ve decided cynical is ugly. Not “I’ve just had my heart broken” bitterness, hell that’s just healing. But just this whole all ‘men are arseholes’, ‘all women are whores’ attitude some people have.

While out on Saturday night we were sitting next to a group of women, all our age so mid to late twenties, who bitched about their partners, current and past, the whole time we were there. Keep in mind we were there for a good 4 hours.

And it made them ugly.

There are women out there who will marry for money, fake pregnancies, cheat on you, play with your heart and run off with your best friend. That doesn’t make me one of them. In fact most girls out there are pretty decent, who just want to be happy with someone they love.

And like there are some men out there who will lie to you, who will string you along, who will cheat on you, who won’t commit to anything beyond 3 months, who are emotionally unavailable and those will say anything to get in your pants it doesn’t mean every man you walk past will do the same.

Despite being a judgemental cow who tends to form an instant like/dislike to someone, I refuse to let the one or two guys who haven’t been completely honest or sincere affect the nice ones.

Because to let the guy who broke up with me over the phone while I had glandular fever colour how I see the many good, gorgeous, honest, funny, intelligent boys out?

Makes me a complete idiot.


blah blah

Sunday Aug 20, 2006

I have really got to stop heading out on a Saturday afternoon for a quick “couple of beers”, expecting to get home a few hours later. Because I am a big fat dirty liar and the last few times have involved stumbling home at 3 a.m. after ending up dancing my arse off in the dirty dirty Retro.

The thing is I mean it at the time, I head out in jeans, cardigan and thongs with no make up, planning on a few quiet beers. And before you know it you start at a local, change locations to the Newtown RSL, grab food at a burger place called Burgerlicious (because really just for the name you need to eat there) and then you graduate to cocktails at Kuleto’s and you know it’s going to end badly.

The odd thing is I am not the girl who goes out dancing until the wee hours, as previously mentioned I am a nanna and I am fine with that title. I like being at home, I like going to bed at 10 because I’m up at 6, I like staying in Saturday nights watching Parkinson. Because really, having a few drinks or dinner at my house or my friends houses is far more comfortable than being in the middle of the city at 3 a.m. drunk, tired and sore in too high heels trying to get a cab at changeover. In fact really look at that sentence and can you think of anything worse?

Fyi – Nokia phones will predictive text prank as spank. So if you were to send a message to a work colleague asking them to prank you when they’re ready to leave for an off site meeting you would get a very bemused phone call.

Boys who stop contacting you without any reason or explanation are really bloody annoying.

I start the kick start diet thing tomorrow. I can’t tell you how excited I am knowing for the next few weeks I’ll be living off 1200 calories a day with next to no carbs. I know, I know you want my life, no?

God, most boring post ever.


soft

Thursday Aug 17, 2006

Either I am over TheBoyWho or the few kids who read this here site sent enough brotherly vibes that last night was just a great night hanging with friends, with no desperate flinging at uninterested people.

Rock.

Although this hangover is kicking my arse.

Last night was beautifully warm for a winters night, having beers outside at a work local with no coat was delicious. And because I am officially broken I had a steak and left my carb-alicious fries alone.

(If I’m being honest I was at the bar and completely forgot about them and they cleared the table before I got back. BUT I still stuck to a no carb thing. I know, I am awesome)

TheBoyWho is still tremendously hot, he’s Italian so he has the olive skin and dark hair. I just don’t feel anything for him anymore which frankly is one of my fastest turn around time I’ve ever had. Normally there should be at least a year of pining, drunken making out and painful angst before I get to this stage.

Something that did annoy me was the cry of “Soft!” when I wanted to go home at 12 and not continue to a house party. I am perfectly content with being labelled soft, because frankly I am. As it was I got to bed at 1 a.m. last night and walkied into my office at 7:30 a.m. and although I had a great night last night I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little tired today.

But I am fine with the feeling a little bit tired, a little hungover because last night was worth it. But if I’d drunk more and got less sleep? Not worth it anymore for feeling like shit for all of today, and having tonight as a write off because I’m exhausted.

Now, I am all for letting people who want to get 3 hours sleep after 10 hours of hard drinking do their own thing. Because they weigh up their ” Is it worth it” ratio in their head and get a different answer than I do. So they stay out, I go home and everyone gets what they want.

I’m just asking for people to shut up when I decide at midnight on a school night to go home without having to argue why I’d like to go home and sleep.


brotherly thoughts

Wednesday Aug 16, 2006

I had a whole ‘nother post written but it turned into a lame Dr Phil style thing. And although I love me a little Dr Phil I’m not a 6 foot plus Texan with a moustache.

It was inspired by Natalie’s post about remaining single because she’s “this” close to giving up on believing there’s decent men out there. I agree with the sentiment. The post in summary was – don’t be an arsehole and change the rules half way through. And if you’re in a screwed up headspace don’t get involved with someone else and mess with their head too.

I’m having dinner and drinks with TheBoyWho tomorrow night. Lucky it’s a school night so I know things won’t get too drunken and weird. I’m thinking brotherly thoughts in the hope that when I see him he’ll be just a friend. Because if the normal thoughts I’ve had about him mingle with the brotherly stuff then I’m thinking bad illegal thoughts.

I hate the gym and I can’t believe I’m still going 3 months later.

I am very tired and need holidays stat. I know I’m getting down when I start to sleep as much as possible. After Sundays little 13 hour sleep-a-thon I can’t ignore it much longer. Besides, Fiji is still 5 bloody months away and I could fit like 10 nervous breakdowns or depressive episodes in there. Because good lord I can plan well.

So fingers crossed I don’t try and get TheBoyWho drunk to take advantage of him, send brotherly vibes my way k?


juicy

Tuesday Aug 15, 2006

Indeed.


not related to gibson

Sunday Aug 13, 2006

So, TheBoyWho is in Sydney. This trip of his has been on the cards for a while. Actually as he was going to be staying at my house the whole “you’re cool, let’s get naked, no thank you, ok I can’t be friends, ok but you’re still cool, ditto, the end.” talk was prompted.

He messaged me last night at 1 a.m. which isn’t a problem, my problem being that it was a drunken message.

Now I have no doubt he was out and just felt like contacting me and I’m not questioning that. It just go against the whole in vino veritas (in wine there is truth) thing .

I’m a big believer in this theory, after all I don’t drunken message/call my grandmother for a chat, but rather people who I want to see naked. And I have to be honest and say that every drunken outburst or thing I’ve done has never been something I didn’t want to say/do while sober.

But the FB, who is incidentally an ex boyfriend, also goes against and doesn’t agree with this theory either. He states that he says and does stupid things when he’s drunk, which incidentally makes me stupid.

Heh.

*frat boy high five*

But he also dropped the “I love you” bomb after a few drinks so has a bigger stake in his disagreement of the ‘in wine there is truth’. (He took it back while sober later, which I imagine is a while other story)

So the things said and done whilst drunk, do we believe that a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts? Or should we take most drunken nights/conversations as bullshit?

In other news I stayed in bed until 11 a.m. this morning, read two books, I haven’t brushed my hair since yesterday and had breakfast at 2 p.m.

Sweet.


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