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drawing back the curtain.

Friday Jan 27, 2006

While reading Boyspoke I decided that girls should also be unveiled a little.

(Bearing in mind this is really about me, if it applies to other girls then well done me)

1. We cannot help being absolute uber bitches from hell each month. Literally. Having PMS is like being an emotional, just dumped, angsty teen and you know that that bile coming from your mouth is irrational and unreasonable, and hell, not even logical. Yet we can’t help it, we are hormonal and we are evil. Although there is Nurofen to take away the physical pain, there is nothing for the PMS invoked hormone rage.

2. We (I) really don’t mind when you hang out with the boys. In fact I love it and encourage it. You get to see your friends-this makes you happy. I get to do whatever the hell I like-this makes me happy. Plus you come home squiffily drunk and adorable and I get to take advantage of you.

3. We like men being polite and showing their good manners their mothers (and fathers) taught them. As previously noted I consider myself a feminist. But a man holding open a door for me? A man seeing my struggling carrying something heavy and offering his help? A man walking in between myself and the road when we’re out? A protective guiding hand on the small of my back when we’re out? They’re manners people, not oppression, and I love the hell out of it. Please do not stop doing these in response to a minority of shrieking harpies (I love that word).

4. We like sex just as much as men. If this surprises you, that surprises me. Women have sex drives. We have fantasies. We meet you and will be thinking of what you’re like in bed. We enjoy giving and receiving. We love it. Do not be surprised. And for the love of fuck, do not see this as a woman being “slutty” or “easy”.

5. We (Read=me) are happy for you to look at other women. No really, don’t look sceptical. If you give me reason to doubt my trust in you that you have/ will go from looking to touching? Then we will have problems. But checking out a girl in a bikini at the beach? Knock yourself out. Looking at a girl who has fantastic breasts? Yes she totally does. If I see a man who is gorgeous I will be looking at him. Making you stop doing the same is bullshit, so go right ahead.

6. We (I) do not care how much you earn or what car you drive. I do not expect you to pick up the tab each and every time. I do not expect you to pay my rent/bills. I do not expect or want you to maintain me. I love you for you. Not what colour your AMEX is or if you even have one. In fact bragging about what you make? Really fucking tacky.

7. We do not like it when strange men in clubs and pubs walk by and grab our arses. At all. If we wanted that we would no doubt ask you to first. Until we do fuck off.

8. We may be career driven ambitious ball breaking women but we are still women. Do not be intimidated by this. We are just as fragile and soft as the pastel wearing twin set wearing girlie girls. We are not a threat to you manhood. We just speak up a little better than said twin set girls. We like you being men and us being women.

9. We get the geek/sportsman/PS2 playing part of you. We like you. We may not like
sport or care for watching 12 hours of cricket with you but then we like shopping and you (generally) do not. We get the differences and we like ‘em. (Although if you’re playing Super Mario I will totally spend 12 hours playing with you)

10. I (I’ve given up on the We, this is all about me) do not like the buffed, tanned, V hipped men. In fact I have to confess 6 packs scare me, I do not find them attractive at all. We like you skinny, scrawny, big, podgy, average, pale, tanned whatever. We just like you just as much as you like women. I will not care if you are 5-10 kilos over/under weight. I do not care if you cannot bench press 50 kilograms. I do not care if you drive a Hyundai Excel, versus a (I don’t know cars so just insert fast/masculine type car model here). We just like you just the way you are.

Have I forgotten anything?

14 Comments »

Indiana:

Oh Shit !!! Number 10. All that time Diving, Riding and Skiin…totally wasted…but on the good side bring on those cheese fries, the 6 pack needs to become a keg.

You had me right up too Super Mario 1, now if it had been Halo or Splinter Cell…then… ~grin~

January 28th, 2006 | 7:40 pm
stella:

Agree with ALL ten. All of them…

January 28th, 2006 | 11:19 pm
lucy:

Stella – You agree because you fucking rock. That is all, and welcome darlin’.

Indiana – How about Medal of Honour? I can totally play that. Except when I get stuck in a corner and cannot move. Which happens often. Then I will need help from your bearded self 🙂

January 29th, 2006 | 12:21 am
Anonymous:

omg
i totally agree with everything!!

i probably check out more chicks then my dork does!

&i always tell him his lil pot belly is way sexier to me then a ripped up guy (i actually find them chippendale guys ugly– they do nothing for me!)

&dorks are my weakness.

im glad you let me come read you here.
you write quite differently but still with that sassy side we all love (;

-tweety

January 29th, 2006 | 5:35 am
alana:

Totally! Ten out of ten! What is it with men that are more self conscious than women?

January 29th, 2006 | 5:37 am
Indiana:

Men are more sefl conscious than women because in truth we have always hide a frail ego behind a bravodo exterior tinged with a manly gruffness…the truth is that it wasn’t very hard for the media to plug into that ego and tell us 6 packs and cut bodies were what woman wanted, women in turn helped ratify this, and just like a womans eternal quest to be waif like with a Hollywood body, men were on the treadmill trying to acheive a perception.

January 29th, 2006 | 4:50 pm
Steph:

Wonderful, wonderful post that very well could end the battle of the sexes. At the end of the day, i think we both want the same things. Love, respect and friendship.

January 29th, 2006 | 6:13 pm
Indiana:

And a never ending supply of morning sex…

January 29th, 2006 | 7:27 pm
lucy:

I don’t have any faith in the media’s representation of what we’re supposed to look like. Mainly because we all know it’s bullshit.

I sure as hell don’t look like a model from Vogue or the latest Hollywood starlet, and my partner’s don’t look like the hot new Calvin Klein underwear model or the new lead singer of a pop band attractive.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If people are still listening to what magazines and newspapers tell them is attractive rather than what’s in their head/gut and heart they need to wake up and start using their brains.

(Indiana – And blow jobs too)

January 29th, 2006 | 7:37 pm
Indiana:

Now your just trying to show me you’re perfect…first you tell me you are marrying me, then you tempt me with long shared sessions of MEdal of Honor, and now you tell me I get blow jobs…next you’ll tell me I have to reciprocate…and then it will be all over ~grin~

January 29th, 2006 | 8:04 pm
lucy:

Indiana – See point 4, “we like giving and receiving, we love it”.

So, I’m pretty that means that I rock.

January 29th, 2006 | 10:31 pm
Indiana:

And you didn’t know that ~grin~

January 29th, 2006 | 10:44 pm
Ramona:

Mmm. Totally agree.

Love it.

January 30th, 2006 | 5:05 am
Anonymous:

yoyoyo… u said it for all of us… i so agree with all 10 any give day 🙂 u rock….

July 2nd, 2006 | 3:14 am
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